Post # 1
I just got married on Saturday and to my surprise during the night I was informed a guest, from my friends list, who is not as close as some but I invited because she had been a great friend at my old work and we stayed in touch, brought a plus one. When she rsvp she never added him and she never said when I asked about dietary requirments that he was coming.
Luckily our manager for the venue just set up and I only found out later about it, but this guy showed up in jeans when my hubby wore a tux and everyone was dressed well. He stayed for the meal and this couple didnt even say good-bye and no card in the wishing well, not even a congratulations.
Safe to say I’m very disappointed, especially since in the invite it was specific to HER and I knew she was seeing this guy who is her ****-buddy, so she brought him to a wedding. I will also say she had 4 closer friends coming so she wasn’t alone and she sat on a table with all her friends.
I feel awkward but at $250 a head at my wedding being a small one (70 people) we had friends we didn’t invite and some whom we said no to plus ones. The fact that she brought this guy was rude and she didn’t even give me the heads up.
Should I call her and explain this and say she needs to pay for his meal?
Post # 2
Rudeness doesn’t beget rudeness.
Meaning, she was wrong to bring an uninvited guest, but telling her she needs to pay for his meal is way out of line. You’re married, you didn’t notice it happening at the event…just move on.
Post # 3
[content moderated for name calling]
Post # 4
There’s no way asking her to pay you 250 dollars will end well. Chalk it up that she’s rude and don’t continue the relationship since there’s obviously a lot of resentment. Focus on the people in your life that matter and enjoy the memory of your wedding before you were told about what happened.
Post # 5
What she did was crazy rude, but if you let him stay and found him a seat then he’s your guest at that point. You could have had the manager send him packing.
ETA: I see you didn’t notice, but I think the above still applies. You could call and air your grievances but I don’t think you’re getting that money back.
Post # 6
Especially when they’re the only person wearing jeans…I would think he would stick out like a sore thumb.
Post # 7
[content moderated for snark]
Post # 8
As per PP, she was very rude to bring an invited guest, but I also think it would be rude to charge her for doing so. Be the better person.
Post # 9
If she’d bought him and they had stayed and partied, said big congratulations, gave you a nice card (not saying a present but at least a card) then I’d say yes ok it was rude of her but it can be forgiven but it sounds like she used the wedding as a free meal for her and this guy and then left? That’s extremely rude and you should talk to her. I wouldn’t say hey you cost me money with your uninvited guest pay up but open up the conversation to he wasn’t invited and it caused problems on the day. If she responds with skmething indicating she knew he wasn’t invited but bought him anyway and doesn’t care then yeah I’d send her an invoice! That’s like taking someone to a group meal and expecting everyone else to cover the bill.
Post # 10
+1 That’s the etiquette answer.
OP, even if you noticed him, and since it’s part of the couple’s responsibilities to greet everyone one way or another, I have no idea how you didn’t, a gracious host is supposed to overlook a “miscommunication” like this and do just what the caterer did. A bouncer scene is never appropriate, nor is issuing a bill.
Your recourse? If this is indicative of an overall pattern of inconsideration, it’s your call as to whether you want to continue the relationship or whether to keep inviting this person to your events.
Post # 11
Ignore it and move on, but I’d probably not invite her to much else in the future!
Post # 12
Doesn’t sound like you were that close took begin with… Let it go.This will fix nothing.
Post # 13
If you send a bill (and I don’t think you should), she’ll probably not pay it. She’ll tell the story to others, minimizing her role in this, and then people will be talking about the rude bride. Others have said it. Nothing good will come of sending her the bill. You’ll just be feeding into more drama. Let it (and her) go.
Post # 14
What are you gonna do, send her an invoice?! Please don’t be THAT bride. You’re married!! This should be the last thing you’re thinking about the Monday after your wedding.
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill
LOL love it!
But I have to agree with all the other Bee’s here. She was rude but I don’t think there is a point in asking her for money. Be the bigger person and forget about it and her friendship.