(Closed) A guest brought an uninvited plus one to my small wedding: should she pay?

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
13903 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Rudeness doesn’t beget rudeness.

Meaning, she was wrong to bring an uninvited guest, but telling her she needs to pay for his meal is way out of line.  You’re married, you didn’t notice it happening at the event…just move on.

Post # 3
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

[content moderated for name calling]

Post # 4
Member
3029 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

There’s no way asking her to pay you 250 dollars will end well. Chalk it up that she’s rude and don’t continue the relationship since there’s obviously a lot of resentment. Focus on the people in your life that matter and enjoy the memory of your wedding before you were told about what happened.

Post # 5
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

What she did was crazy rude, but if you let him stay and found him a seat then he’s your guest at that point. You could have had the manager send him packing. 

ETA: I see you didn’t notice, but I think the above still applies. You could call and air your grievances but I don’t think you’re getting that money back. 

Post # 6
Member
3029 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
bibbithebee:  Especially when they’re the only person wearing jeans…I would think he would stick out like a sore thumb.

Post # 7
Member
6159 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

[content moderated for snark]

Post # 8
Member
8916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
sara336:  As per PP, she was very rude to bring an invited guest, but I also think it would be rude to charge her for doing so. Be the better person.

Post # 9
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

If she’d bought him and they had stayed and partied, said big congratulations, gave you a nice card (not saying a present but at least a card) then I’d say yes ok it was rude of her but it can be forgiven but it sounds like she used the wedding as a free meal for her and this guy and then left? That’s extremely rude and you should talk to her. I wouldn’t say hey you cost me money with your uninvited guest pay up but open up the conversation to he wasn’t invited and it caused problems on the day. If she responds with skmething indicating she knew he wasn’t invited but bought him anyway and doesn’t care then yeah I’d send her an invoice! That’s like taking someone to a group meal and expecting everyone else to cover the bill. 

Post # 10
Member
13647 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
JiminyCricket:  +1 That’s the etiquette answer.

OP, even if you noticed him, and since it’s part of the couple’s responsibilities to greet everyone one way or another, I have no idea how you didn’t, a gracious host is supposed to overlook a “miscommunication” like this and do just what the caterer did. A bouncer scene is never appropriate, nor is issuing a bill.

Your recourse? If this is indicative of an overall pattern of inconsideration, it’s your call as to whether you want to continue the relationship or whether to keep inviting this person to your events.

Post # 11
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Ignore it and move on, but I’d probably not invite her to much else in the future!

Post # 12
Member
1615 posts
Bumble bee

Doesn’t sound like you were that close took begin with… Let it go.This will fix nothing. 

Post # 13
Member
1744 posts
Bumble bee

If you send a bill (and I don’t think you should), she’ll probably not pay it.  She’ll tell the story to others, minimizing her role in this, and then people will be talking about the rude bride.  Others have said it.  Nothing good will come of sending her the bill.  You’ll just be feeding into more drama.  Let it (and her) go.  

Post # 14
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

What are you gonna do, send her an invoice?! Please don’t be THAT bride. You’re married!! This should be the last thing you’re thinking about the Monday after your wedding.

Post # 15
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill

View original reply
lifeisbeeutiful:  LOL love it!

But I have to agree with all the other Bee’s here. She was rude but I don’t think there is a point in asking her for money. Be the bigger person and forget about it and her friendship.

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