(Closed) A guest told us they'd come an hour late to a formal reception

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Lol, I can’t with you. The way one person decides to spend their time has literally zero to do with you. So what if they’ve taken off an hour early to go to a concert? That’s something for THEM. Your wedding is something for YOU. See the difference?

Post # 47
7508 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You picked the inconvenient date and time with little regard for your loved ones’ circumstances. Don’t take it personally when they don’t move mountains to be there. I mean, your actions do say “this specific date is more important to me than any of you are.” Dont be surprised when people respond accordingly. My advice: be gracious and grateful for every single person, regardless of if they can attend at a specific time or not.

Post # 48
2612 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

View original reply
galephys:  Sadly, I think I have to side with your guest.  With only so many vacation hours in a year, on top of the other family commitments we have this year, taking time off for a wedding to someone I was not immediately related to would be low on my priority list.  It’s not that I wouldn’t want to be there, but it would just be hard to swing.  Like another bee said, factor in time to get ready, traffic, etc it’s alot more than just an hour.  More like half a day (atleast for me).

Post # 49
2730 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I find it incredibly rude that YOU are so aghast about him informing you he will be an hour late. You’re “glad you weren’t there”? What would you have done? Flipped out on the guy and uninvited him because *shock* your wedding isn’t the single most important event in his life?

I don’t get it. A 6 hour gap is waaaaayyy too long as opposed to 5 hours? Either way, it’s a ridiculous amount of downtime for guests.

You can have the appetizers and drinks at 5 and start dinner at 6, what’s the big deal?3

You know they took hours off for other personal stuff and expect them to put your wedding at the top of their priority list– what they choose to do witht their time off is none of your business and you cannot dictate what is acceptable/unacceptable for them and their work schedules. Quite frankly, I’d rather take my personal time to go fishing or to a concert rather than a wedding also… but that’s just me

You said a second main course is served 2 hours into the receoption sooo what’s the issue? He still gets to eat. And even if he didn’t get to eat, that’s his prerogative when choosing to come after dinner.

You talked about multiple other events (dancers, performers, cake cutting, a BBQ the next day, etc.) so he will essentially be there for EVERYTHING ELSE. But only miss a few appetizers.

So really, I fail to see any issue here. You were rude for planning your event so inconveniently for guests. But, hey, it’s your wedding and you have every right to do as you please. But you CANNOT get mad at someone for not being able to work around your inconvenient schedule. It’s plenty fair that he arrives an hour late and it’s ridiculous for you to be mad at him.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  SoonAsYouCan.

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