A guy's perspective on romance

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
5 posts

Wow, well I’ll take a shot at it! It’s going to be kind of long, but I’ve known this man for five years, we started off as friends with benefits but that ended within the first 5 months. We kept in contact on and off throughout the next 3 years, during this time he started dating another woman and lived with her for 2 of those years. Last summer in 2018, he reached back out to me and told me that he knew I was his wife and that he was ready to marry me. I was hesitant but I heard him out.

We’ve always been close and like best friends, but the problem was that I knew him to be liked and loved by women, women, women. I always knew he had potential to be a great man, (single father takes care of his son after the Mom abandoned him, he’s a hard worker, reailient and driven inspite of his childhood traumas.) But the women aspect was a concern of mine. Nevertheless, after talking with him for a few months I could see and hear the change in him, he was still living with the gf but planning to leave.

Well, 2 months ago he left, in this process we’ve discussed rings, when marriage would occur bc I’m 32 and ready now, like within the next 6 months and he’s 34 and says he has always told himself he will marry at 35. The problem with that statement is yes he has said it many times to me over the years of knowing him, but he has said so many different things regarding this, from I’m not going to marry at all, to I dont know if I’m good for marriage to, I’m going to wait until later.

Wednesday before Thanksgiving we saw a couples counselor he said we both seem like good people and advised that I be patient with him and wait a year to see where things go. I just dont have that time, my best friend wants me to start a business with him, (which would be completely funded via him btw) and I told him I have no problem doing it with him if we’re married. But as it stands I’m in school now for something completely unrelated and wouldnt be willing to change my whole life for his business venture as a friend only.

He feels like I dont love him for saying and being this way and that I am pressuring him or trying to control him. I told him that he is being selfish for not considering all that I am sacrificing for him and I think he should find someone else to be his business partner that can remain strictly business with him, but if WE do this, WE do it as a couple. That’s what I left him with on Monday and we haven’t talked since. I believe I made the right choice but as a man would you feel pressured to make a choice on marriage in this situation?

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