Post # 1
My guy bought the diamond. He showed it to me at the end of January. It’s beautiful.
Since the day he showed me, I’ve been really looking forward to moving to the next step. I’ve been TRYING to keep my cool though. Honestly, I’ve really been trying! I have kept my lid on by telling myself that it’s coming and he’s working on it.
This weekend he asked me if I want to go look at bands again. That means he hasn’t decided, so there is more waiting ahead of us. Yes, he’s been looking. And he wants it to be what I want. I value that he really wants to wow me when he opens that box. I want that too, of course!
I also want to still be excited about it when he does ask. I’ve been excited for 5 weeks, thinking every weekend that it’s on the way. Every weekend that it doesn’t come, that he doesn’t make it official, I get a little more anxious and a little more disappointed.
I am TRYING to hold onto hope and stay excited. But it’s becoming harder to do. This past weekend was hard on both of us because I cracked and told him how I was feeling. Then he told me that he knew how I was feeling and he feels really bad about it.
Any advice out there for women in my situation? How can I keep up the excitement without pumping up the pressure on my darling guy?
Post # 3
I am sorry to hear this is making you anxious or stressed, but you have come to the right place for friendly advice from people who know exactly what you are going through! Waiting can be tough, and many describe it in cycles– sometimes it is giddy anticipation, but sometimes it is frustration with the unknown!
I would recommend that you try to focus on the positives, and on the certainties that you can hold on to, such as: he has bought the diamond! he is actively looking for the most perfect band for your perfect finger! he is putting so much thought into choosing the perfect ring for you, and there is no question in his mind that you are the girl for him!
Hopefully you will cycle to the giddy/content stages soon and enjoy the rest of your time as a waiting bee!
Post # 4
Stay calm! This is the exciting part!
Try giving yourself a 2 month deadline before you think of it again (yeah right I know, but try). Why 2 months? I figure that it would take a month to get a ring made with the stone and a month to plan the proposal. Then after that time get excited again. But don’t get disappointed too quickly, proposals and rings take lots of time and planning. It’s coming, be patient. (Again, I know that this is hard/impossible :P)
In the mean time think of all the things you are doing for the last time as “single”. This is your last March! Your last start of summer (or autumn) etc etc
Maybe set a goal? I will have learnt x recipes by the time I’m engaged, or saved x money or something! Something else to focus on.
Good luck, can’t wait to hear all about it once it happens! 🙂
Post # 5
@SeattleMolly: OMG! Chill mama. Just enjoy this time. I would LOVE to know that my SO already has the ring, etc but it’s just a matter of him planning and the timing being right. Just give him time to do his thing. I’m sure you’ve read a lot of posts on here lately where the proposal is very important to the men. Let him have his moment! Good Luck! But hold off and keep silent….Can’t wait to hear your story and see your ring…
Post # 6
This is honestly the best part- some waiting bees still have to get their SO to the part about looking for a diamond or buying a ring— you are in the home stretch because once that diamond is on its setting, it is only a matter of time before it is on your hand. I emphasize, you are in a REALLY good spot- just keep busy and help him whenever he requests it (yes, go look at settings!).
And start a wedding fund- get focused on saving for your big day- that will take some of the focus off of waiting.
Post # 7
You are all quite right. 🙂 Thanks for chiming in!
After I wrote this post I saw another post: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/appreciate-the-waiting-time
Reading through that thread, I really felt uplifted! Last night I apologized to the giant for my misbehavior this past weekend and told him I’m happy waiting right now.
And today when I visited him on his lunch I told him that I take back my “Please don’t wait to ask my parents in person” comment I made last weekend. We’re going to introduce him to my family in Texas in April and I was worried he’d wait to ask in person while we’re doing there.
Everything’s fine. I’m a happy girl today. And he’s a happy giant. 🙂
Post # 8
I think you are farther than most of us on here. You know he has bought the diamond and he even showed you. My SO will not be telling me anything, he wants it to be a huge surprise. Something that we can tell our kids one day sort of thing. So I wouldnt be too down about it. He is half way there. It will be soon. Just dont bring it up at all , at this point if you dont bring it up it will happen faster.