- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2007
Bees, I really just need to vent right now! DH and I have these friends who are just cheap and rude! They were good friends years ago, and I guess we are still clinging to that, though they have changed a lot and we don’t enjoy their company as much recently.
Every year, DH and I host a Christmas party, it used to be a big party with lots of people, food, music drinks etc.. In recent years, we have had children and most of our friends have too, so the parties are now more centered around the kids. We give eachother’s children gifts at the party.
I set the date for the party back in November, a few weeks later the guest in question (lets call her Lucy) asked what she should bring, I suggested chips for the kids, she said OK and that was that. The day of the party, Lucy and her family were in the city shopping, they live about 90 minutes away so going home just to come back in the evening would have been a pain, so she asked if they could come over earlier. We said OK, even though I was not quite ready for company. They arrived 3 and a half hours earlier than the time they’d been invited for, without chips.Lucy told her husband “oh, we forgot chips” and he said he would go to the corner store to get some. He didn’t. Around 4:30 we started talking about what to do for dinner, we decided to order pizza and invited the other family to come for pizza. We did not offer to pay for the pizza, and we did not invite these people over for a meal. When the pizza arrived, DH went to the door and paid, as the delivery man was leaving Lucy’s husband did the “oh, where is my wallet?” dance, it was clear he had no intention of paying for any of it.
We ate, then the kids opened their gifts. She honestly gave my kids dollar store gifts that were worth about $3 each kid. We don’t spend a ton on each child, about $20 each child, but we do put thought and effort in.
DH had purchased some rum for the eggnog, it was not a “drinking” party, just kind of nice to have rum and eggnog with the dainties, they drank 2/3 of the bottle themselves, after Lucy told me that she wanted to bring a bottle of wine, but her husband told her not to.
This just really irritates me, they do stuff like this all the time and it seems like they have no problems with it. It used to be my family, theirs and one other that was very close and would often do meals together, go on trips, and other fun stuff together, now we are leaving them out more and more becasue of their behaviour, and they get offended when the other family and my family do meals and things together without them. I just don’t get it, I can’t just show up at a gathering empty handed, even if the hosts have not asked for anything and picking up the bill among friends shouldn’t be an issue, because everyone should take a turn at some point! Even at their son’s birthday party, they ordered out and had everyone pay for their own food. The list goes on and on. They invited everyone over for a BBQ once, we set the time and date and the day before she calls me to ask me to bring the meat AND chips, she asked the other family to bring drinks and a dessert, we arrived and all they had was condiments and a small salad. The salad was so small, there was not enough for everyone.
We took a trip together a couple summers ago, Lucy’s husband was able to get a great deal on the accomadations through someone he knew (it was a huge 5 bedroom cabin on the lake) so we split the cost of it down the middle. The other family drove out and stayed one night (we were there about 10 days) and Lucy’s husband actually wanted them to pay for the night they stayed!
So bees, this was mostly a vent, but how would you handle something like this? I don’t consider DH and I cheap, we really do try to be good hosts and good guests, it is just so frustrating as it feel like they take advantage of their friends and never return the favor.
Wow, sorry this is so long :S