(Closed) A house or a wedding: which do you want first?

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What do you want to spend your money on first?

    A mortgage first - on the house of our dreams.

    A mortgage first - but it could just be on a little place and we'll move once married.

    A wedding first - but we can easily afford both a wedding and a mortgage.

    A wedding first - even if it means we start married life with no money for a mortgage.

    Other (explain below)

  • Post # 62
    2354 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I would definitely want a house first. The wedding is a celebration of your *already-there-plans* to spend the rest of your life together. The house is what you need to make your new life grow and turn the house into a home. Being married wouldn’t feel like so if we are still living with our parents or renting (which isn’t a great idea if you’re trying to save anyway).



    Post # 63
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I chose “other.”  My SO and I both own our own homes.  With the economy the way it is, I think we will both be stuck with our houses during the beginning of our marriage.  Maybe we will rent one of them out.  If we didn’t own homes, I would say marriage (not necessarily big wedding) first.  I wouldn’t spend so much on a wedding that we couldn’t buy a home, but I also wouldn’t buy a home with him unless we were married.

    Post # 64
    2246 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I chose “other”

    My SO and I are in the fortunate position that my mother has offered for us to rent and live in the flat below her and her partner’s house and so the rent would not be astronimical and it would be easier to save to purchase a house anyway. And we can do this either before or after we get married. We want a small wedding anyway and we’re already taking steps towards saving for both but it’s likely that we will get married first before purchasing a house.

    Post # 65
    140 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’d rather get married first. I’m not sure what kind of house I’d even want at this point, or where I’d like to “settle” but I know its with him.

    I like the idea of getting married and renting for a bit while we search for the perfect place (and save up too).

    Post # 67
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We have an apartment together for now while we get our careers in order, but we have enough money saved up to pay for a modest wedding, which would be perfect for us. We don’t want to spend too much on just one day, but that’s just us.

    We’ve been together long enough that getting married soon is probably in the cards (8 years), and once we save up enough we’ll look into home ownership – something we definitely want when we can afford it.

    Post # 68
    3993 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Well, I got the ring, then the house, then the wedding. We thought about buying a house together before we were engaged but nixed the idea. Once we were engaged, the progression of things mattered much less. So we found the perfect house and bought it a few months ago. If we hadn’t found “the house” then maybe we’d have gotten married first. But we did, so..

    ETA: We knew where we wanted to settle down, knew what houses we both liked, and have been living together for almost 3 years. We were tired of rent and apartments, so that helped make the decision as well. And as far as the wedding…we’re having a very budget-friendly wedding that I love. 🙂

    Post # 69
    1474 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I got the ring, we moved in together, now we are planning our wedding and will buy a house 1-2 years after the wedding. We currently love our apartment and are happy to stay here a couple years after the wedding.

    Post # 70
    1061 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I voted other.

    I would have preferred wedding first – i’m fairly traditional – but ended up buying the house first because renting was getting so expensive it wasn’t worth it anymore. STILL waiting nearly a year later though and it’s doing my head in!

    Post # 71
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    We bought a modest house to start. We don’t plan on retiring in this house, but will probably live here while planning a wedding, and for a while after the wedding is said and done. While house hunting we fell in love with a fixer-upper victorian, but didn’t want to take on something like that having never been home owners before. I love our little cottage, but once we’re both a little more established in our careers, and aren’t trying to save for a wedding, it’s likely we’ll be ready to jump into the fixer upper of our dreams. My guess is we’ll live in this house for at least another 5 years, maybe 10.


    Post # 72
    971 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We purchased a house at the begining of the year…planning on a smaller, less expensive wedding sometime next year.

    Post # 73
    2385 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    @VickyAurea: We could have a smaller downpayment (3.5%), but we couldn’t afford the larger mortgage payment 😉 I don’t want to lock myself into a condo the same size of my current apartment, so we’re waiting until we can afford 10-20% on something that will fit us + family rather than something we’ll be desparate to sell in a few years!

    Post # 74
    3997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would be comfortable buying a house with my SO before our wedding, but I’d much rather have our smaller wedding and then focus on saving up for a downpayment, having a steady long-term job, and owning a car, etc. We’ll be 22 or 23 when we get married (depending on the year) and we won’t be ready to buy a house before then anyways. We still have school and a couple thousand in student loans and where we choose to buy it’ll be really important to have a car because everything is really spread out and there isn’t public transportation. Right now we live in the city in a condo my parents bought for me as an investment. We’re not really in any hurry to leave that and buy a home haha.

    Post # 75
    1495 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    Marriage first for us.  We can’t buy for a long time because we will be moving around frequently.  So, it would have been silly for us to wait to get married till we bought a house.

    Post # 76
    995 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I chose #2 A mortgage first – but it could just be on a little place and we’ll move once married

    We almost-own our house now:  FH bought it as a starter-home in his early 20s, and now we have less than 3 years left on the mortgage.

    Since I moved in 3 years ago, we started renovating: most of our extra income goes to reno materials.

    When we get married, the house will be mostly finished: and our budget for the wedding is about the same as our budget to renovate the kitchen.


    However, we’re also saving to buy a cottage on a lake in the next 5 or 6 years; and move there in the next 10.


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