(Closed) A house or a wedding: which do you want first?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What do you want to spend your money on first?

    A mortgage first - on the house of our dreams.

    A mortgage first - but it could just be on a little place and we'll move once married.

    A wedding first - but we can easily afford both a wedding and a mortgage.

    A wedding first - even if it means we start married life with no money for a mortgage.

    Other (explain below)

  • Post # 77
    Member
    3261 posts
    Sugar bee

    A wedding, because I woudnt want to move in with him until we were married. So there would be no point in getting a house prior.

    Post # 78
    Member
    1295 posts
    Bumble bee

    I vote other. I want a wedding and before we get married a house.  We only plan to buy one house so it’l be our dream house.  We will both be on the mortage so no worries there.

    Post # 79
    Member
    2114 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We chose mortgage , and I have the house of my dreams . That was a year and half ago and we will be getting married next December

    Post # 81
    Member
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee

    @VickyAurea: i voted i’d want a wedding even if that meant i wouldn’t have money for a mortgage. i know a lot of newlyweds who rent during their first year of marriage and they’re quite happy.. i think it’s perfectly fine to not own a house right away..

    Fiance and I are quite blessed that his parents have a spare house for us to live in until we graduate school and start making our own money, but if we didn’t have that opportunity we would definetely be renting, no money to buy a house right now.

    Post # 82
    Member
    390 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We’ll get married first. But we wont buy a house right away were going to rent so we can get our money in order because we are getting married 2 months after graduation from college.

    Post # 83
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Whle planning our wedding, we were also house hunting. We put the cart before the horse and have a toddler. After looking at houses with a backyard for our son to play in and room to run we cancelled our venue we had booked two weeks earlier and put our wedding fun towards the new house fund.

    Post # 84
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    i vote “others” because both DH and I own our homes before we met. I bought the 3-bedroom house three years ago when it made financial sense for me to own (I was paying just as much to rent a small 2-bedroom house..with a really difficult landlord). Hubby shares a mortgage with his two sisters. We hope to upgrade to “our” home in a kid friendly neighbor when our children start schools, in 10 years.

    Post # 85
    Member
    73 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    My fiancee purchased a house four years ago when we first started dating.  It’s only under his name.

    The one thing i would caution is that if its under the spouse’s name prior to marriage, to have your name added to the deed once you are married.

    There are many states, even community property states, that won’t consider a home joint asset if it was purchased BEFORE the marriage and only has one spouse’s name on it.

    If your husband is incapacitated or God forbid, dies, and he has no WILL specifying who the house goes to –you could end up having extended family fight over the home (especially if its paid up).

    I would urge you to both discuss this with a lawyer if your spouse already owns a home or is planning to buy a home prior to marriage with only his name on it.

    My ex-husband tried to pull “it’s only my name on the house so therefore it’s mine” during the divorce. Judge told him that if he was single when he purchased the home then he would have kept it with no obligation to me. But since we were married, even if my name wasn’t on it-it’s community property.

     

     

    Post # 86
    Member
    1199 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I voted other because I’ve owned my condo for 5 years now, well before I met FH.  He also owned a house before he met me, so now we have 2 mortgages (my condo rented) and we live in FH’s house.  So the option of getting married before a house wasn’t in my cards.  Definitely not my dream house, hope to move in a few years when the market is better.

    Post # 87
    Member
    3373 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @NeutrinaYour spouse actually can’t put your name on the existing mortgage when you get married. You’d have to refinance and get new financing that looks at both credit scores.

    We bought a new home about 6 months before the wedding so I guess we did both? I had previously owned my own home.

    Post # 88
    Member
    73 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Pink Magnolia–

    Your right but i wasn’t referring to the mortgage, i was referring to the deed. Yes it can be done–i did it once before.

    Post # 89
    Member
    527 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    This is an interesting thread!  Thank you lol I voted ‘other’.  My SO and I both have Italian backgrounds and it is tradition that the parents pay for the wedding.  We are very lucky that we don’t need to budget the wedding in.. we are very excited to have a big italian wedding 😛

     

    That being said.. we are saving for a house now and hope to buy one at the end of 2012.  We aren’t engaged yet and I doubt we will be married before then.. this house will be something small like a cute townhouse until we get the hang of it lol then after the wedding we will be able to look for our dream house.. I would have graduated by then and we will have a lot of extra cash from the wedding gifts!

     

    It is also a tradition for our family to buy land/house for their children at their wedding.. so we may be even luckier loll  fingers crossed but we won’t be bothered if we don’t haha!

    Post # 90
    Member
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I think once you have a house and mortgage, having a wedding gets to be a lot tougher!  So semi-young and broke, but getting hitched anyway!  We’re not having anything too elaborate… certainly nothing that compares to a mortgage.

    Post # 91
    Member
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    A wedding – because as long as we’re living in LA, if we were to wait for a mortgage first – we’d NEVER get married!

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