(Closed) A house or a wedding: which do you want first?

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What do you want to spend your money on first?
    A mortgage first - on the house of our dreams. : (54 votes)
    13 %
    A mortgage first - but it could just be on a little place and we'll move once married. : (65 votes)
    16 %
    A wedding first - but we can easily afford both a wedding and a mortgage. : (82 votes)
    20 %
    A wedding first - even if it means we start married life with no money for a mortgage. : (155 votes)
    39 %
    Other (explain below) : (46 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 92
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I chose  other because I knew once we got the mortgage we’d never be able to afford the wedding we wanted.. so we’re doing the wedding and we’ll start looking at houses right after

    Post # 93
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We had our wedding first and are hoping to buy a house in the next year. We just had to wait until Mr. Hedgie got a full time job so we knew where we would be living.

    Post # 94
    1093 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    well Id want Marrige then a house.. not really a wedding– like If we had to choose between buying our own home or having a wedding- id say get married in city hall and buy a place.

    Post # 95
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I want a wedding, and don’t see home ownership until we’re preparing for kids. We’re about to move cross country after I graduate school, so it’s not realistic for us to even consider a home until we’re sure that we like where we’re moving. Also, I feel like a house would be too much for just the two of us, I don’t want one until we are ready to have kids! 🙂

    Post # 96
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Voted Other: I rather hav a small wedding first because he has his apartment and my mother is passing on the house to me later on.

    Post # 97
    2721 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I voted “other.”  My fiance had already bought and sold 2 houses before we were together, and was living in a very nice appartment.  However, apartment living didn’t agree with him (and definitely not us together–we have 4 dogs between us).

    When we became a couple, he was already looking for another house to buy.  He closed on one and moved in about a month before I moved across the country to live with him.  It’s not our dream home (we have some pretty outrages dreams), but it’s enough that I’ve told Dear Fiance I don’t want to move out of this house unless it’s to go into our dream home.  

    So we’ve had the house for six years, and the (itty-bitty) wedding is in three weeks.

    Post # 98
    1722 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We are young and perfectly content with just having an apartment right now. In fact, buying a house at this point in our lives seems stupid as we don’t know where we will be living in the near future due to job changes and just a desire for adventure. 🙂 We didn’t even have to discuss it to know that the wedding would come first. 🙂

    Post # 99
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I’d want a wedding first. I don’t know why, but I’m not comfortable with the idea of getting a mortgage with someone who isn’t my husband.

    Post # 100
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    We bought our house almost a year ago. We will have had it for 1.5 years when we get married. We built it, so it is almosta dream house..I’m sure we will upgrade some years down the line..but we love it and it is so nice having it new. We definately wanted to own a home before we got married!

    Post # 101
    1007 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Not comfy with buying a home with someone I’m not married to, so I’d definitely choose the wedding first.  Also, we’re not certain that we will be staying here more than a year or two after we get married, so it really doesn’t make sense to buy a home at this point. 

    Plus the fact… we both really like being able to hop online & put in a quick little service order on our tenant website whenever anything breaks & it’s fixed within 24 hours… with no bill.  LoL!  Not quite ready for all of the extra responsibilities that come with owning a home.

    Post # 102
    565 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My boyfriend and I don’t know where we want to end up permanently. We are both teachers, so in a better economy, it would be possible for us to live almost anywhere. But there’s no way we want to buy a house in our current location. So definitely, a wedding first and THEN a house, but that will be further down the line when we have a better idea of where we want to start our permanent lives. Also, I’m not typically a very traditional person. but for me, I want to be legally married before ever buying a home with someone. There are just too many things that could go wrong for me to consider embarking down that road otherwise. 

    Post # 103
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Wedding first. I could buy a house on my own without being married for sure. He wants to it to be a joint venture though and I refuse to buy a house with someone I’m not married to. If you can’t commit to me for a life time why would I want to put you on a mortgage??

    We’re not going to have an elaborate wedding though (I’m super practical), so I’ll have plenty of money for a mortgage when all is said and done.


    Post # 104
    9960 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We’re doing a wedding first, mostly because Fiance is concerned about the legal rammifications of he and I owning property unmarried and the securities law surrounding it. 

    Post # 105
    792 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We have two savings accounts. One for the house, and one for the wedding. Although we are not engaged yet we have discussed logistics, like the where, when and how. We’ve decided to get married first and then buy a home. We rent now and we love where we are. We’ve set a very small budget for the wedding so we can get married without blowing tons of cash and keep contributing to a down payment on a house at the same time.

    Post # 106
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I picked other. Our wedding is is less than $5000 so we don’t actually have to decide between a wedding or something else.

    With that said, we just put a loan down for a Land Rover so as far as using up our money and having to pay a loan, we chose neither the wedding nor a house and went for a new car Laughing. Which is a smart invstment, IMO. We don’t have a home but our apartment is nice and I love it already, I don’t care one bit about having a big wedding party, and Fiance traded his sports car, which I thought was too small and slowly falling apart.

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