(Closed) A house or a wedding: which do you want first?

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What do you want to spend your money on first?

    A mortgage first - on the house of our dreams.

    A mortgage first - but it could just be on a little place and we'll move once married.

    A wedding first - but we can easily afford both a wedding and a mortgage.

    A wedding first - even if it means we start married life with no money for a mortgage.

    Other (explain below)

  • Post # 122
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    we bought our house first, and are now saving for the wedding.

    we didnt want to rent because we both thought it would be hard to save foir a deposit on a house while we were paying rent.

    and couldnt imagaine getting married and then the following day me go back to my family home and him going back to his family home.

    plus i kids will be following shortly after the wedding, and then i would be a set up similar to that of kids going to their dads on the weekend.

    so yeh anyway, house for us, then wedding

    Post # 123
    163 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    If the choice was wedding or house, I would have chosen house, but we eloped for $200 and don’t want to buy a house because we aren’t ready to settle down yet. 

    Post # 124
    759 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I wouldn’t go into a large investment like co buying a house unless we were married, just doesn’t seem like a good idea

    Post # 125
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Hm. Fiance and I have talked about this a lot. I had always assumed we’d start saving for a house before engagement/wedding because we’re both getting tired of the city and I need more space. Then my surprise engagement threw me for a loop. After we hashed it out, we’ve decided that a house is our first priority if we’re going to be saving money – and if our parents want to contribute to a wedding, we’d prefer they contribute to our efforts to get a house. Plus, I’ve always wanted a backyard wedding so that would work nicely.

    I voted for mortgage first but not necessarily the house of my dreams – not entirely sure how true this is, I have a feeling I might hold out for the best 🙂

    Post # 126
    236 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m a medical student so I’m going to have to move a lot for work. Certainly for the next 10 years and potentially longer. So of course there’s no point buying a house. I will not be spending a lot of money on a wedding though anyway. 

    Post # 127
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    My fiance and I purchased our 5 year home first and then a year later we got engaged. Our thought process was to basically take advantage of the slumping housing market. We’re still planning the wedding of our dreams, but it also does help that in Asian culture, as wedding gifts, we’re given money.

    Post # 128
    127 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We’re buying a house first. I can’t imagine spending thousands on a day, and not having a house. We want a family, and we’re not worried about being married first. So, we’re focused on buying the house first, wedding next. 

    Post # 129
    48 posts
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My fiance & I have been together for almost 5 years. We lived in an apartment together for about a year. Last February we bought our first home and we got engaged in August. We decided that it was priority to buy a house before getting engaged. We planned a May 2013 wedding just to be able to handle the costs of our home & the wedding.


    Post # 130
    13 posts

    We’re buying the house this fall. The ring and the wedding will come after that. I can’t wait for our engagement to be official, but the house is our bigger priority– we already know we’re going to be together forever, and we don’t want kids for a few more years, so there’s no real rush to get married, even though I’d love to.

    Post # 132
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I wanted to be married, and had already been waiting for a few years (together longer, but ‘waiting’ for only part of that time).  But the opportunity for the house came open right at a time when we’d been making plans to move, anyway, and I’d hoped that him overcoming his aversion to property ownership would also mean he was closer to overcoming his aversion to marriage.  If it did any of the above, it’s been 3 years since moving into the house and I still have a naked finger and my maiden name.  So, I’d really say marriage first, then look for a house, and from what I’ve been told from big wedding planners and small, that small seems better after all the stress and expenditures are calculated – if you want to get married and still ahve a nest egg for a house, just keep the ceremony and reception a little more simple – it’s less stress and it allows you to get that house sooner, too.

    Post # 133
    2128 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Both? We got our mortgaged a couple of months before our wedding so we’d have  our first home to move into after the wedding. The time was right for us to buy a house so even if we weren’t getting married, we would have probably bought our own homes.

    Post # 134
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    For us both kind of happened at the same time, but that is how he had wanted it to happen. He didn’t want us to be engaged and still living at our parents’ houses. I guess we got lucky. But honestly, I would have preferred to be engaged sooner (maybe it’s just because I had waited for so long).

    Post # 135
    12 posts
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We purchased our home 3 years ago. And got engaged 14 months ago. It was the best decision we have ever made, i highly reccomend purchsing a home before getting married

    Post # 136
    1213 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My preference was engagement ring then house then wedding. But due to having to jump on the house i ended up getting engaged and closing on our house on the same day. I was hesitant before cus everyone said dnt buy a house with a boyfriend but i knew without a doubt we were gna get married. Now trying to buy house stuff and pay for a wedding is difficult…. But i wasnt willing to wait on either one.

    Post # 137
    152 posts
    Blushing bee

    In an ideal world, I’d love to move into our new home the day we came back from our honeymoon – but that’s not gonna happen!

    I’d rather have a wedding first. I’d even rather have the honeymoon of my dreams before buying a house – and that’s a huge deal coming from me, who once said i didn’t ever see the point in renting!

    But now we’re renting an amazing apartment by the sea, and it’s got 2 bedrooms. We were lucky – this place is incredible and should we get married and have kids before buying a house, we’ll be happy here. And then we can buy a house to fit the needs of our family.

    We decided that we’d rather spend our money on a honeymoon and have one fantastic holiday before children arrive. after all, we only get one honeymoon. and we have all the time in the world to buy a house.

    I do think if we lived anywhere other than the south coast of England, we’d be able to have both at the same time. But a 2-3 bed flat in Brighton costs upwards of £270k. That’s not going to happen for a while yet!

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