(Closed) A interesting thing my BF said about wanting a bigger ring than what's offered..

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
3513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

That’s an interesting perspective. To me, it was important to help pay for my ring. I know that I am in the minority, but I just don’t get why he should pay for something so expensive by himself (in our situation specifically; nothing against the 99% of traditional couples 😛). I know I’ll never be buying him a surprise gift worth thousands of dollars! I saw no reason for him to do something so outrageous for me. It was the first big purchase we ever made as adults and it was important to me that we make it together. We already lived together and shared finances so I don’t think Darling Husband ever thought anything different. So it’s so funny to me that some men find that insulting! It’s crazy how different everyone’s relationships are.

Post # 3
Member
5158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Well, no, “they” don’t all act like “that” when it comes to certain topics. What your Boyfriend or Best Friend said about how he would feel relates to how HE would feel, and that is all. Some other men may feel as he does, and I am sure many other men don’t.

My husband and I are partners, and equals. I opted out of an engagement ring originally, but when I did later add rings after we married, I absolutely contributed because it all came from the same place. We had started sharing finances before we married, so even the idea that a ring would come only from “his” money before we married did not make sense. In any event, he is not someone who takes finances personally, nor has it ever been an issue (or has he taken it as an insult) that I have the higher income, or if I buy my own jewelery now and then.

It is interesting to hear your Boyfriend or Best Friend would rather be nagged for a bigger rock than have a partner willing to contribute.

Post # 4
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

I talked to Darling Husband about that exact thread. He said the bees calling the gf shallow were actually the bishes not the gf…he said he didn’t see a problem with the gf offering to chip in more money to get a ring they both would love and last a lifetime. He asked how in the world could the bees label her as materialistic when she’s offering up her own money to pay and makes $200k a year. He asked me why would I want to be on a board full of judgemental bishes lol I’m obsessed with rings that’s why :/

Post # 6
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’d be upset to wait X months longer so he could save up for something I was willingly wanting to pay for. Sounds like male insecurity imo.

Post # 7
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’d be upset to wait X months longer so he could save up for something I was willingly wanting to pay for. Sounds like male insecurity imo.

Post # 10
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
bibbithebee :  why put it off, why rush it? If the $ is there what’s the issue?

you sound more like a sugar baby sitch, so I can see how it might not relate. But if both parties are actually equal, who cares what account it comes from?

Post # 12
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

My engagement was a little overbudget before the exchange rate, and therefor really overbudget with exchange and shipping. 

I was quick to say “Look, I know we were both on the same page about being under X amount but I love this setting so much. I’ll pay the difference!” and my SO was very quick to shoot me down. He feels like your SO does. He was never upset that I offered to pay the difference (and I offered a dozen times) but he was not about the entertain the idea at all. 

That being said, I think the “I’ll get you any ring you want” phase has passed. If I wanted to ‘upgrade’ I would pay for it unless it was for a vow renewal or something. 

Post # 13
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
bibbithebee :  sorry if I misunderstood- you wrote about being happy to spend your bfs money as your own. The other post mentioned sharing the cost. I assumed you would see it the same, as ‘our’ or ‘shared’ money, so why the fuss. Perhaps I was mistaken and you can clarify.

Post # 14
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes my husband would feel the same. He would feel emasculated and he would react in a very similar way to your boyfriend OP. 

The topic ‘A interesting thing my BF said about wanting a bigger ring than what's offered..’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors