(Closed) A January "state of the union" talk

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
35 posts

My fingers are crossed for you! I feel your pain and anticipation, etc. I think I’m going to wait til after the holidays and have a similar talk with my SO. 

Post # 5
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Lol, gotta say I LOVE the title of this topic (and your attitude)

Indeed nothing wrong with a girl speaking her mind and letting a guy CLEARLY know what HER LIFE PLAN is.

I’d never give a guy an Ultimatum… but I would certainly say…

“Your LIFE PLAN and mine are not seeming to merge as I had expected / hoped.  You want a baby in 2013, and I need to be Engaged (or Married) before that plan goes forward… so curious where you now stand on that issue”

Then sit back and let him talk.

IF he says ya he’s on board with you… then you guys can talk further on a TIME LINE and what is going to happen when.

IF he says he’s not ready… yet

Well then at least you know where he stands, and where you sit.  After that you’ll have to make up your mind on what you want / need out of this relationship going forward.

Hopefully, you’ll both be on the same page (or better yet the State of the Union Talk won’t happen in January, cause you’ll be engaged over the Holidays)

(( HUGS )) and Best Wishes… may Santa (with the help of Cupid) make all your dreams come true this Christmas Season


Post # 8
2943 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@cali_cat:  I hate when people ask “Why aren’t you two engaged yet?” I hear it all the time, whenever I’m around family…even my Mom has jumped on board with the questioning.  Also, I get mistakenly called Mrs. (SO’s last name) alot, and even some of our closest friends think it’s fun to address Christmas Cards and such to “Mr. and Mrs. SO’s last name.” SO’s family constantly introduces me as his wife.  SO doesn’t understand why I get upset about it, or correct them, but I feel once we are married, there is something special about saying “he is my husband” or “I am his wife” and I don’t want to take away from that by having people already refer to me as his wife when we are not even engaged.

Good luck on your proposal! I hope we all get our proposals for Christmas or New Years! 

Post # 9
46 posts
  • Wedding: March 2014

cali cat we are twins. i thought he’d be excited and do it when i agreed to move in a few months ago. now he has asked to table the topic and i quote “can’t we agree not to talk about this till 2013”.


i don’t think they get how hurtful it is.

Post # 10
802 posts
Busy bee

Your attitude makes me look up to you. My timeline means that I can’t do this waiting/uncertainty thing anymore and if he is not ready that is totally fine, and well within his right – I just can’t sit around being miserable about it and so will need to go off on adventures and such instead.

I know how you feel though, on the can’t wait to marry you bit – I so, so wish I had that too – I can only imagine what that must be like. You are lucky that you know your guy wants to marry you! Sending engagement dust your way, while of course spilling a ton of it on myself. =)

Post # 12
802 posts
Busy bee

@cali_cat:  Where he is from it is common to have kids without being married, which soooooo does not fly with me. So nope, no kick in the pants here. He either wants me or doesn’t, and I’ll be okay either way.

Post # 14
802 posts
Busy bee

@cali_cat:  Thanks! I need all the luck in the world. I know he is still not ready since we had that discussion this morning again, so I guess it comes down to whether or not he is willing to take that leap when we get right down to it. Oh well good thing I am a strong person!

Good luck back at you! And omg now I am so going to go worry about unfertilized eggs on a monthly basis, haha!

Post # 15
20 posts

Best wishes to you and hope you get what you want by the end of the year!

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