(Closed) A jealous best friend

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
387 posts
Helper bee

@Soontobee_Mrs.G.: Kill with kindness!  Ignore her.  She’s just jealous!  I know people say that all the time, but I’m serious this time ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It sounds like you’ll just have to become very creative at dodging these questions! It’s obviously unreasonable for her to demand you avoid ‘copying’ her theoretical future wedding, and she clearly doesn’t mind demanding that you do! I’d try my hardest to diplomatically dodge questions (I haven’t thought about X yet…I don’t know, I’d have to check with Fiance about Y before deciding anything, etc). I’m sorry you’re having to deal with such a ‘friend.’

Post # 6
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Why not just respond to her honestly as it comes up and say “That’s funny! No, you can’t call dibs on purple” and a follow up “Do you want to talk about it? You sound kind of upset”.

Honesty is the best policy!

Post # 7
Member
387 posts
Helper bee

@Soontobee_Mrs.G.:  I mean what else can you do? My best friend in the entire world knows that I will be using purple as the main color in my wedding, as it has been my favorite color since I was a child, and it’s not her favorite color, so it’s a moot point.  However, would I tell her she can’t use it PERIOD?  No!  It’s my favorite and a gorgeous color, so I think everyone should add a pop in there! ๐Ÿ™‚  But, she absolutely won’t use it because she loves me, just like I will absolutely not use her favorite color because I love her.  

It comes down to this, your friend is bitter and not thinking clearly.  She’s jealous and sad and taking it out on you because you seem to have the perfect life.  If she loves you and your friendship, she will be happy for you no matter what you decide.  I mean there are only SO many things you can do with a wedding, honestly.

Until then, just be a sweet friend (which you seem to be!) and keep on keeping on lol

ETA:  If she can’t be happy for you and a good friend,  maybe you should rethink the friendship?

Post # 8
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Even if you both use the same color or have similar rings, who cares? I can’t believe she’d make such a big deal out of something like that. There are only a finite number of colors to choose from, undoubtedly people attend many weddings each year that have similar themes or colors or the brides are wearing similar, sometimes even the same dress! As long as that  day is special for you, it’s not important. I would just keep doing what you are doing, make your plans. She can get over herself!

Post # 9
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It seems odd that you’re both fighting about hypothetical weddings.  Are you engaged as well?  I wasn’t sure, because you said you weren’t sure if you were getting married next month.  Just let it go.  She is probably just trying to get a rise out of you.

Post # 10
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m totally confused….I’ve read other posts of yours and neither you or your friend are engaged yet.  You’re planning on getting engaged and married in less than a month ‘you think’?  And you and your friend are out ring shopping together, but have you and your SO gone ring shopping together?  This whole jealousy thing sounds like child’s play on both parts.  Neither of you have anything that you are arguing about and both of you seem to be competing to be the first one to get it.

Post # 14
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I sorta agree with Lavinia about re-evaluating the friendship.  She may be a toxic friend.  How old is she?  It may just be maturity.  A big red flag was her telling her SO to send back a wedding set because she didn’t like it.  That’s pretty selfish and says a lot about the type of person she is.

Post # 16
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My best friend and I are in love with the same types of engagement ring…we used to text each other pics of ones we had seen online before either of us was even in a serious relationship (well, technically she’s still married…just waiting for that damn divorce to go through!).  We always thought it would be funny if we had the same ones, and agreed to help each other’s SO pick the right one should the need arise.  Now that I’m engaged she has admitted to jealousy, but not over weddings or engagements, but of the happiness part.  We talk very openly and she is very clearly thrilled to bits for me, and in fact is the person pushing me to start planning more and even is the one who suggested the venue I fell in love with.  That’s what friends do.  This person is not your friend.  Maybe she once was, and maybe when you’re both married you will be again, but I would just steer clear of her for now.  

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