Post # 1
I wrote a post about the background on this a while back but I will summarize a bit for those of you who haven’t read it. Long story short my Fiance and I had ordered my ring in January after a couple weeks of searching. The ring arrived three days after my FI’s cousin proposed to his girlfriend of six months. Not wanting to steal their thunder we waited a week to become formally engaged and didn’t make a large deal of it to family and friends.
Fast forward a month or so, we attend a family birthday party together. The cousin is there without his fiancee as she lives in another country. We walked in and mingled with family a bit. As we progress through the house we run into his cousin. I opened my mouth to congratulate him and he cut me off…. “would it kill you to have waited more than a week?” His expression was deadpan and he said this in front of a large portion of the extended family. For the rest of the night he shot us dirty looks and avoided us as much as possible. We left early because of the hostility.
After this we were both very upset as we had actually done everything we could not to steal his thunder. FI’s brother confronted the cousin about it who is now claiming it was all a joke. I guess what I’m asking is how I deal with this. Do I avoid him or pretend like nothing happened? I’m more than a little worried that everything with regards to our wedding is going to turn into a competition with him. We have kept almost all the information from our families to avoid this and it is killing the excitement leading up to our big day.
What do I do??
Post # 3
It’s not your fault some random cousin of your fiance’s is a jerk. Let it go.
Post # 4
@trainergirl: Um. He’s crazy and a bad cousin. If any of my cousins got engaged around the same time we’d be stoked to plan together.
That said, he’s just a cousin. You can be super excited with FI’s immediate family. Go on about your business. If cousin doesn’t like hearing about your wedding, that’s his problem.
Post # 5
My honest opinion is I wouldn’t let it get to me, and I would certainly Not tone down your engagement or anything to do with your wedding. Just because Your FI’s cousin got engaged, doesn’t mean he owns the title engaged or anything to do with a wedding. This should be a happy time in everyones life involved, and I def think that even waiting a week was nice enough on your parts. If your Fi’s cousin has a problem I would leave it at that, His problem and celebrate and shout to the moon in back. This is one of the most important miles stones in a couples life. I beleive that you should just turn a blind eye and be happy! And if this really is something you feel you can’t turn a blind eye to, I would let your Fiance take care of it and say look we are sorry you think we stole your thunder, but if you were so worried about this happening maybe you could have spoken with me and found out we were planning on getting engaged too. I’m sorry but Your Fi’s cousin getting mad is just silly to me. Please don’t let this get you down about your wedding and have the time of your life planning and just being happy. I wouldn’t let one person bring me down.
Post # 6
@MexiPino: Good idea on just being excited with his immediate family. He has such a close knit extended family that sometimes that can be hard but at least this way we can enjoy the excitement!
Post # 7
I agree, let it go. Who needs extra drama?
Post # 8
@trainergirl: Live your life for you and your Fiance and nobody else! So if you get pregnant the same time as them are you going to hide your baby bump or diminish your excitement just because of them?! Just go on planning your wedding. Hold your head up high and be excited!!
Post # 9
@trainergirl: omg what a loser!!!!!!! he needs to get a life!!!!!!! my husband was going to propose on a certiain day, that VERY day his sister rang us to say she had gotten engaged! so obviously he didnt propose that day, but it was maybe a few weeks to a month later that he did!!!!!! it wasnt stealing her thunder, it is all about timing. and now she isnt with her fiancee nor marrying him, she has a new partner! and we’re married.
so everything works out 😉
Post # 10
And if you had waited two weeks, or a months, that probably wouldn’t have been long enough either. But no, the comment absolutely was not a joke. If it had been a joke, he would have laughed after he said it and not spent the rest of the night shooting you guys dirty looks from across the room. Sounds like he needs to grow up and get over himself.
Post # 11
@Miss Apricot: Very true… the scary part is he is five years older!