(Closed) A Kitchen Aid Stand MIxer for Christmas???

posted 5 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

how do I give him a nudge, help him be a little more romantic sometimes?? 

He doesn’t need a nudge.  He needs instructions.  Give him a list.  You’re either happy with what he gives you or you tell him what you need.

Also – you CLEARLY have a guy who who is “practical”….. dont’ try and change him, or you will be constantly dissapointed with him not meeting your exectations.  Either accept him for who he is or find someone who IS romantic.

Post # 4
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Girl you are not alone! Last year my Fiance got me a spice rack. For my birthday he offered to pay for my oil change and haircut that were both already scheduled. He really was just clueless and thought he was doing good by giving me things I knew I wanted. I explained to him the difference between giving something you “need” or would get anyway, and something he thinks I would like but probably would not get myself. I made it very clear and gave examples of gifts falling in the different categories. He has gotten MUCH better now and gives much better gifts! Now we laugh about his old gifts. This year he joke he got me a kitchen wok. Thankfully he didn’t 🙂

Post # 6
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@jackaroo1223:  Welcome to the world of differences between most men and most women.  I say most, because there certainly are men who are fantastic at expressing their feelings and knowing exactly how to buy what would be considered to be more “romantic” gifts that many women hope to receive.

However, it sounds as if your SO is a more practical guy whose default is to consider and purchase more practical gifts that still would be in keeping with your interests. He likely honestly thought he was getting you a fantastic gift by purchasing that Kitchen-Aid mixer for you.

It’s funny, because I have always been all about clothes and jewelry and vacations.  However, now that I’m married and had to resign my job (and possibly even give up my career) to relocate to be with my Darling Husband in a small town in his rural area, and we’re only living on his much smaller income, I’ve had to live with us not even really getting each other gifts for Christmas since we’ve been married (Christmas PJs or slippers, and candy in our stockings being the exceptions.) 

Although I would love to receive jewelry or a wonderful trip, I was very excited this year when DH was out shopping for the kids (my stepchildren) and suggested that we also buy a Keurig for ourselves! I also was extremely happy when my parents offered to help us buy another vacuum so that we’d have one on both floors of our house, and DH agreed, because we only had to spend a relatively small amount of money ourselves to get it. I even joked, “When did I become that woman who was so excited to get appliances for Christmas!!” LOL

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be permitted to want beautiful, romantic gifts or that you need to resign yourself to only receiving appliances for every special occasion for the rest of your life. I’m merely suggesting that you consider the value your SO has placed on the gifts he has given you and that you consider them in that light.

Post # 7
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

Wow. I got a Kitchenaid mixer also for Christmas and was thrilled. He knows how much I love to bake but would never spend $400 on one. So I think for a first Christmas together that’s a lot of money and you should be grateful. 

Post # 8
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly I don’t see what is wrong with a Kitchen Aid stand mixer as a christmas gift from a SO.  It’s not your basic run-of-the-mill mixer; it’s a luxury item, meant to spoil you.  

It has nothing to do with the differences between men and women or how they show affection in different ways; it’s all about indulging someone with something they want, and that makes them happy, but that normally would be out of their price range.  Unless you absolutely hate to cook, I think this is a lovely gift, along the lines of high-end Wusthof knives or a high-end coffee maker.   And just because a gift is practical doesn’t make it an un-romantic or bad gift.

Post # 9
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t get it… your boyfriend got you an expensive item that you wanted, needed, and will use, and you’re upset??  If we all could be so lucky…

Post # 10
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@jackaroo1223:  PLEASE don’t approach it as “I think maybe I just need to explain you don’t get someone something practical for a gift if they would buy it for themselves”

Approach it as how thoughtful it is about getting you things that are more practical, but how you would really like “fun” things or something like that.  “I love it when you think of what I need, but what really makes me feel special is when you get me something I want but wouldn’t buy myself.” (even if he never has, just go with it).  Seems like you have different gift styles, neither is wrong.  You just need to teach him (nicely and without making him feel he did something wrong) what you need and what makes you happy. 

Many people give practical gifts and enjoy getting them.  DH’s mom got him sauce pans, it’s his favorite Christmas gift this year.  Sure, he’d have bought them himself, likely right after the holidays (we hate shopping) and now he doesn’t have to.  Personally I wouldn’t care if it’s practical, I’d think “awsome, now I don’t have to go find and buy that thing I need!”  I’m happy someone got me something, but honestly I like the more practial stuff too, then I think of that person everytime I use it.  🙂  Takes all kinds! 

Post # 11
Member
3585 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@jackaroo1223:  I love practical presents. Really, I find DH’s sussing out of the very practical thing that I need at the moment to be very thoughtful.

So sorry, OP I can’t relate. I’m not saying that you should change your feelings about wanting “romantic” presents, though. We are who we are, you want what you want. Start talking to him now about your expectations for birthdays and Christmas so that the two of you can figure out how to meet your need.

And really, point out to him how bloody EASY flowers are. He doesn’t have to spend $120 on long stemmed roses, getting whatever is in season at the moment and beautiful is much nicer and less expensive.

Post # 12
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

He got it for you because that is what you wanted….

Post # 13
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Dude, I once asked for (and got) from an SO a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. It’s only an offensive gift if you don’t want one and wouldn’t use it. Cooking is one of the ways I show my love for people, so for me, cooking-related gifts are romantic.

Post # 14
Member
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Man, I would love for my SO to get me a Kitchen Aid mixer.  That’s an extremely nice gift that you’ll have for a long time.  If you wanted something that wasn’t practical you should have told him.

Post # 15
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If it’s any consolation my Fiance got me a laundry basket and a toothbrush sanitiser…:)

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