A lapse in FIL's judgement…I need some help with mine… *vent-ish*

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 31
Member
47193 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Apple_Blossom :  It’s a graduated licensing system. With a G1 license you can take the road test 8 months later if you take driving lessons through an approved school, or 12 months if you learn on your own. When you pass that test, you drive as a G2 driver for another 12 months, but no longer need another licensed driver in the car. You then take another road test to become a fully licensed driver.

Post # 32
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Daisy_Mae :  I can’t speak for Canada but in the US a license can absolutely be revoked, or never issued in the first place, due to mental illness.  It’s the duty of all mental health professionals to evaluate their patients’ ability to drive.  Here are the California guidelines for a bit of context if you’re interested, certainly not everyone with an anxiety disorder would meet the criteria for revocation but some do: https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/dmv/?1dmy&urile=wcm:path:/dmv_content_en/dmv/dl/driversafety/pm_guidelines

Post # 33
Member
3349 posts
Sugar bee

If you are 38w6d, I’d immediately forget about being upset with and dealing with Father-In-Law and figure out some other way to get to the hospital. That should be your focus. 

Post # 34
Member
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Daisy_Mae :  One of my best friends doesn’t drive because she gets anxiety attacks when she’s stressed out (which happens easily on the road) and she physically shuts down. Her dad tried to teach her to drive in an entirely empty parking lot, and she crashed into a cement pillar going about 5 miles per hour because she started crying and put her arms over her face. 

Also, in Canada it takes a full year to go from G1 (learner’s permit) to G2… which is actually still a limited licence – a “G” licence is a full one. We were in the same situation as OP, with me not driving due to vision problems & Darling Husband never bothering to get his licence. Our son is almost 4 months old & Darling Husband just got his G2 last week.

Post # 35
Member
6435 posts
Bee Keeper

I really think you need to take a few of your posts to BBC on DWIL Nation.  I don’t think your Father-In-Law is really going to quit smoking if he’s done that for at least 40 years.  You need to find someone else whether it’s an ambulance or an uber, taxi service, etc.

Post # 37
Member
4254 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’ve said it before, I will say it again…your father in law does not belong in your house.  A lot of problems you have stemmed from him.  From what I have read from your posts, your husband does not seem willing to force his father to move out.  If he’s fine and doesn’t need to live with you for health reasons, he can move out.  Period.  I’ll bet you were planning on using him to care for your child, however he will not change his weed smoking habits and if you are this upset at him smoking and not telling you when you’re pregnant, I’d venture a guess that you would be pretty pissed off not if, but when he smokes around your child, or when taking care of your child.

Your husband needs to grow a backbone and tell his dad now is the time, he needs to move out.  Immediately.  If he WON’T do that for his father…well, that is a husband issue, not a father in law issue.

Post # 38
Member
6435 posts
Bee Keeper

snowflake8 :  I agree with what ljm308 :  has said.  You’re having all these problems with Father-In-Law and now a baby is joining the mix.  I would never live with my Mother-In-Law or ask my husband to live with his Mother-In-Law.  Your home should be a place where you make a new family, not spend all your life trying to care for your parents and your child.  That doesn’t mean don’t ever take care of your parents, but it’s clear that all Father-In-Law has done for you is stress you out.

Post # 40
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Father-In-Law doesn’t actually have his Medical Marijuana License. I have always taken his word that he is smoking it for digestive issues…now that I am thinking about it maybe I SHOULD dig a little deeper because until it was mentioned in this thread, I never gave it any thought.”

Why? I don’t understand what you’ll find. He’s been smoking for years for health. Could it also be because he likes getting a bit high? Sure. It’s possible. Will it change anything? No. He’s still going to want to smoke in the evenings. All you are going to do by digging into it is pissing him off and causing a rift. If you don’t want him to look after the baby, that’s your decision. But it still doesn’t make sense to “dig a little deeper”. 

Post # 41
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

ljm308 :   pinkcorsage :   fredthebasil :  I agree with all of you- but if I remember correctly from a previous thread, I think Father-In-Law paid the downpayment (or a good portion of it) with the understanding that he would live there? 

Post # 44
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

snowflake8 :  many people aren’t eligible for the card, but still find it useful for various illnesses. But also, why does him having the card a requirement for you? What will it change for you? It doesn’t change the fact that he’s high in the evenings. So really, who cares? If he was hiding his use, I’d feel differently but he’s not. 

(Sure, it makes it “legal” and maybe someone would have an issue with that. But you’re in Canada. Cops don’t care about the person smoking a small amount each day. It might as well be legal) 

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