A lapse in FIL's judgement…I need some help with mine… *vent-ish*

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

snowflake8 :  right, but it won’t really help for whether he can drive or whatnot. 

But, as an aside, if he is interested in looking into different marijuana options for health reasons, I suggest looking to vaping or edibles. The benefits of those is lack of smoke, which would be nice with the baby around. Also, there are some products that have just the CBD oil and none of the THC. These come in tinctures, oil, and edibles. The benefit of this is that it doesn’t make you high at all. CBD has none of those effects on your brain, but still is quite useful for various illnesses. Of course, it wouldn’t work for everyone because THC has its own medical properties, but just to throw it out there. 

Post # 47
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

snowflake8 :  I honestly think that having your husband drive and your Father-In-Law supervising isn’t a bad plan at all. The only time you would get pulled over is if your husband was driving recklessly or if he got into a car accident. I would hope that he would be able to make it from your house to the hospital safely if he has been practicing for his road test.

Even if you got pulled over, if Canada is anything like California was before marijuana was legalized here, I honestly don’t think anyone would care about your Father-In-Law unless he was high enough that the police officer could tell he was clearly impaired (and if this is the case, he is getting high for sure, and taking more than a couple of puffs…you would know about this, and your Father-In-Law shouldn’t be driving at all in this case).

I also can’t see a cop detaining you if you are in labor.

Besides, who is supervising your husband currently when he is driving? Or is he taking classes through a school?

The main issue here…for me, is that your Father-In-Law hid his marijuana use from you. I get that he was trying to be helpful, but if he has been smoking for decades and for medical reasons, this isn’t a habit that he can just give up like that.

Post # 49
Member
2659 posts
Sugar bee

Are you OK with your child being subject to second hand smoke?  Ever hear of  “contact high”? When my son was born there was an alcoholic in the family and you can bet your last buck that person was NEVER alone with the kid never mind being relied on for transportation

Post # 50
Member
4254 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

snowflake8 :  I think you are dodging the issue.  Your father in law has caused a multitude of issues for your marriage.  He needs to leave.  Sure he had health problems when you moved in with him, but he doesn’t have them now.  Sure, some of the money went toward a downpayment that was money from his house sale.  I would save up and give him that downpayment BACK for him to buy or rent a place of his own.

Post # 52
Member
6540 posts
Bee Keeper

snowflake8 :  I had all three of my children at or before 38 weeks. Don’t wait for your Darling Husband to talk to your Father-In-Law again–make a plan for how you will get to the hospital. You don’t have to address your FIL’s relationship with marijuana today but you do need to know how you’ll get to the hospital if you go into labor tonight.

Do you have taxis or uber readily available?

Post # 53
Member
2456 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

julies1949 :  BeverlyGeese :  

Thanks ladies! I had tried to quickly look it up, but most of the stuff I found was “it could take up to 20 months” or “there are several things that can be done to shorten the process,” and I wasn’t sure if there was a difference between adults and teenagers.

Post # 54
Member
2769 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

snowflake8 :  Father-In-Law is addicted,  he is not going to stop. You can’t count on him, so I agree with those who said to Uber it.

Post # 55
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee

snowflake8 :  I think its unfortunate that Father-In-Law lied to you about stopping smoking weed to drive you to the hospital but I think you’re going a bit overboard about it.  Does Father-In-Law work?  Personally I would be strategizing about how to just get along with him until you can figure out a different living arrangement.  It sounds like the plan is for you and Father-In-Law to be home together all day every day which sounds rough! 

Post # 56
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

snowflake8 :  if you can’t afford a driving class what are you doing having a baby? What happens when the baby gets sick in the middle of the night and needs to go to emergency?

Post # 57
Member
5161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Serious question: what will you do if baby needs to go to ER/Urgent Care when you are home alone with them? Or Father-In-Law is there but unable to drive?

Sure you can call an ambulance but ambulance rides are not generally covered by provincial healthcare and not always covered by employment benefits. An ambulance ride can run $450+ a pop. 

I also wonder why you can’t afford Darling Husband to take driving lessons but can afford a car (debt free) by end of this year or so. I am all for buying a car without financing but that just does not jive with the comments on driving lessons and now having what will be the expensive life commitment of a baby. 

Post # 58
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

RayKay :  My guess is that they decided that it was more important to save to have a car sooner rather than having her husband take the road test 4 months earlier.

I don’t understand why OP is dodging the questions about cabs/ubers. A cab or uber ride is pretty affordable for most people.

Post # 59
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Sorry, unpopular opinion here…

You are asking a man to live in discomfort for a matter of WEEKS because your Darling Husband never bothered to go for his G2? You are not being fair here. The pot is his medicine, and smoking 2-3 puffs one daily for nearly 50 years will in absolutely no way get this man high. No way no how.

The pot helps him alleviate the symptoms of his ailment, and I strongly feel that him making that commitment to you was him trying to make a gesture of good faith. But have you considered WHY he keeps going back and smoking? The man is in pain, that’s why. And you freaking out on him is helping nobody.

You said that he currently lives with you due to health reasons which seem to come and go? Perhaps it was irresponsible of you to put all of your eggs in one basket for that reason?

Please just remember that pot is medicine, not drugs. So I strongly feel you are overreacting here. Sorry.

Post # 60
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

snowflake8 :  Sorry just to add… the actual medical Marijuana license in Canada is bloody expensive!! My dad just goes out and buys it, but with the license he’d be paying 4x as much!

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