- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
So I finally wrote a letter to my soon to be step-daughter. She lives 3 hours away from us and really hasn’t visited us too much since my Fiance and I started dating. We don’t have a bad relationship. We just don’t have any relationship. She is busy doing teenager stuff and dose not want to leave her friends even to visit with her dad (I have some beef with that, but I let it go). I don’t live with my Fiance yet, so that would never stop her from coming to visit. I just realized that as I plan my wedding, I have never talked to her directly about it. That is all my fault and I feel bad about that. My Fiance has done all of the talking to her. I don’t think I will have a hard life of a step-mom. I’m not sure if we will ever have the interaction at this late stage. So I wrote her a nice email about how well she is doing in school, how good she is at the swim team and inviting her to think about coming up for thanksgiving. I also told her that I personally want her in the wedding and it would not be complete with out her. Her dad will be devastated if she is not part of the wedding. He already regrets everyday of not being able to help raise her because her mother took her and moved away. There is disfunction in their relationship, that is because of how the mother and him broke up. Lots of backhanded sneakiness of the mom has caused some anger amongst the relatives. But he has so much love for his daughter that it almost kills me that he does not have the relationship he wants. As a first time step-parent (I don’t have any of my own children yet) I’m not even sure of what to expect. How do I make sure that I keep a open dialogue with her? I’m not the greatest communicator in the world sometimes. I guess this is a open vent, that will blow away on the cyber wind here.
Too all of you step-moms who are good at keeping up the communication, I give you props!!