(Closed) A list and B list, guest list woes.

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
1702 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think it is too late to change your mind at this point either way.  Just invite them.  Would they have been more offended to not be invited at all, or to know they were on the B list?  Who knows.  If they don’t mention it, I would not bring up the situation.  If you are close with them, and they ask you about it, you could try explaining your situation.  They may be a little hurt to have been on the “cut list,” but I think most reasonable people would understand.

Post # 3
9894 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would be pretty offended to be a on a B List and would feel like I was invited as a seat-filler or to bring you a gift (even though that is not your intention).  It’s unfortunate that there are restrictions that prevent couples from inviting every person that they want at the wedding, but those restrictions exist (whether they are space or financial constraints) and you have to (or are supposed to) work within them. 

Post # 4
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
ashley01:  I have nothing to offer but sympathy because I see myself in a similar situation. Fiance doesnt talk to half his family, yet we have to invite them anyways? Its maddening and his mother insists. I know they won’t show up since most are out of state. I know some of my ppl will get cut.

Post # 5
163 posts
Blushing bee

I am always super honored to be invited to someone’s wedding so I personally would be very excited to be invited. I don’t think you need to explain, or if you do feel like you want to just say your fiance has a large family and you weren’t sure you would have enough space but you’re super excited that you can have some of your favorite people (them!) to celebrate your day after all.


Or blame it on the invites? I messed up some of my addresses in the list I sent to the printer and have to handwrite some of them and I feel like those people are going to feel like B listers, so I get the feeling :/

Post # 6
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
ashley01:  This sounds so familiar!!! I’m dealing with this currently..all of my fiance’s family is out of town. None of them are close at all, he doesn’t eve know all their names. Last May when we got engaged his mom called and asked everyone if they would go and everyone said yes except for a few older people who are battling illnesses. Fast forward to May when we send out of the invitations, none of his family sent response cards back!!!! So his parents had to make a ton of calls, turns out most of them won’t be attending which is frustrating because I could have invited more people. Our invitations were $12 a piece (not including postage for both invitation or response card). I’m trying to remember that the people who care will be there and now I don’t have to worry about a crammed space for our reception. 

Post # 7
3589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I personally think B-lists are fine within reason, I mean how else are you supposed to control your numbers and still have as many people you care about as possible there? Don’t worry about it. I think you did perfectly fine.

Post # 8
26 posts
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think B lists are fine. Everyone knows family makes the A list and more casual friends the B list. If I knew I was on the B list I would still be happy to attend. 

The topic ‘A list and B list, guest list woes.’ is closed to new replies.

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