Post # 1
I am having such a hard time right now! I made my guest list and included everyone I really wanted to see there, SO and his mom made their side and we got together and went over it. It turns out we didn’t have space to seat everyone and a venue change was not possible. Most of his side was people he never talked to, saw etc but it was family and important to his mom which was important to him. I ended up having to cut 18 people from my list to be able to invite the extras from his. Now Rsvp date is this weekend and hardly anyone he invited is coming. I ended up ordering new invites (costing me extra to get them expressed shipped here) so I could invite my 18 I had to cut. Invites should be here by Wednesday and will still give then 2 weeks to respond. But I am feeling terrible about it I’m sure they’ll know they were invited after everyone else but money wasn’t the issue AT all space was. I don’t care about gifts I don’t care about anything like that. Ahh I’m feeling so bad about it. I wish I could go back and do it differently. I had to be okay with letting him invite those people because my side is already 3 times as many as his. Should I have just left the 18 not invited? My grandmother already told them they were being invited so it’s to late now I’m just feeling very guilty.
Post # 2
I think it is too late to change your mind at this point either way. Just invite them. Would they have been more offended to not be invited at all, or to know they were on the B list? Who knows. If they don’t mention it, I would not bring up the situation. If you are close with them, and they ask you about it, you could try explaining your situation. They may be a little hurt to have been on the “cut list,” but I think most reasonable people would understand.
Post # 3
I would be pretty offended to be a on a B List and would feel like I was invited as a seat-filler or to bring you a gift (even though that is not your intention). It’s unfortunate that there are restrictions that prevent couples from inviting every person that they want at the wedding, but those restrictions exist (whether they are space or financial constraints) and you have to (or are supposed to) work within them.
Post # 4
I have nothing to offer but sympathy because I see myself in a similar situation. Fiance doesnt talk to half his family, yet we have to invite them anyways? Its maddening and his mother insists. I know they won’t show up since most are out of state. I know some of my ppl will get cut.
Post # 5
I am always super honored to be invited to someone’s wedding so I personally would be very excited to be invited. I don’t think you need to explain, or if you do feel like you want to just say your fiance has a large family and you weren’t sure you would have enough space but you’re super excited that you can have some of your favorite people (them!) to celebrate your day after all.
Or blame it on the invites? I messed up some of my addresses in the list I sent to the printer and have to handwrite some of them and I feel like those people are going to feel like B listers, so I get the feeling :/
Post # 6
This sounds so familiar!!! I’m dealing with this currently..all of my fiance’s family is out of town. None of them are close at all, he doesn’t eve know all their names. Last May when we got engaged his mom called and asked everyone if they would go and everyone said yes except for a few older people who are battling illnesses. Fast forward to May when we send out of the invitations, none of his family sent response cards back!!!! So his parents had to make a ton of calls, turns out most of them won’t be attending which is frustrating because I could have invited more people. Our invitations were $12 a piece (not including postage for both invitation or response card). I’m trying to remember that the people who care will be there and now I don’t have to worry about a crammed space for our reception.
Post # 7
I personally think B-lists are fine within reason, I mean how else are you supposed to control your numbers and still have as many people you care about as possible there? Don’t worry about it. I think you did perfectly fine.
Post # 8
I think B lists are fine. Everyone knows family makes the A list and more casual friends the B list. If I knew I was on the B list I would still be happy to attend.