(Closed) A list of duties for our Matron of Honour

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

That is quite a list. I hope this person has a lot of time on her hands.

Post # 5
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

“MOH has asked for a list of duties for the day”

Personally, I think you’re expecting too much, you’re saddling her with duties of several people (bridesmaids and groomsmen).  It may be different in the UK, but in the US the equivalent of a hen party is paid for by several bridesmaids, your Maid/Matron of Honor would have to pay for 2 bachelorette parties by herself?

Also, not sure how time consuming your shopping will be, but for her to have to go to everything on both sides seems a bit much.  Just my humble opinion.

Post # 6
349 posts
Helper bee

The one I noticed that may be a problem is “ensure guest book is signed by all at the wedding.”  That would probably require her to stand at the guest book for the majority of the evening, correct?   Perhaps you have another friend or family member (teen cousin, etc?) who might solely take on that task.  Also, be aware that some people are adverse to signing guest books and will not do so even under extreme pressure.  Good luck!

Post # 7
8394 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think the things you listed for the day of are fine, but more than that is getting a bit much IMO. If she truly wants to help out with all these things because she’s your friend that’s awesome, but I don’t think it should be a “duty.”

Post # 11
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well, if she’s okay with it, then I guess these are good?  I wouldn’t ever give a list to someone of things to do my day.  My Maid/Matron of Honor is showing up, wearing the dress we chose, keeping me calm, and standing next to me at the alter.  That’s all “duties” I expect her to carry out. 

Now the people I have hired and paid to do my bidding (day of coordinator, caterer coordinator, venue support staff) – they’ll get a list of things I expect to be done.

Post # 12
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

How about making sure your dress was fanned out correctly when you reach bottom of the aisle? My sister did this for me 🙂

Post # 13
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d get rid of the guestbook thing.  Any guest who wants to sign, will.

I’d also make sure that she knows #2-4 are optional – as in you’d like her help if she is free, but they aren’t required.  That way she doesn’t get the list and feel as though she’s going to have to give up her free weekends to help with DIY projects and vendor meetings.

Do you need a witness?

Post # 15
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think it’s a little much to expect unless that person really really really is into the wedding.  I’d guess the average person isn’t.

I would shorten it to this:

Organising two hen parties (please help her with this!!)

Accompanying both brides on dress/suit shopping expeditions and giving style advice.  Make it optional (no one should be forced to attend)

Assisting Fanny Anne in choosing floral arrangements.  You two should do this together, no one else needs to help you except your florist.

Assisting Fanny Anne in creating DIY centre pieces, order of services, and place settings.    You two should do this together as well.  No one else needs to help you except maybe your venue/officiant

Keeping Fanny Anne company in the morning before the ceremony.

Holding Fanny Anne’s flowers during the service.

Giving a speech at the wedding breakfast.

Ensuring guestbook is signed by all at reception.  No one wants to do this. People know what it is for

Collecting goodie bag of food from the buffet to be taken by brides back to their room for later.  See if the caterer will prepare a to go box

Post # 16
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

A Maid/Matron of Honor is not a DOC.  A DOC is a person paid money to keep you organized and on track.  Your Maid/Matron of Honor is your BFF who stands beside you and looks pretty.

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