(Closed) A little advice to waiting bees :)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@Lulume:  THANK YOU!

Post # 4
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

That takes a lot of confidence!! I knew my fiance would propose but I was still only 99% sure. I think there is always that tiny doubt until he actually does.

Post # 5
1059 posts
Bumble bee

I think that this depends on your personality. If you have a tendency to go crazy (like me) then it is probably a bad idea because it will make waiting even harder. But if you are a calm, level-headed person, it might not be a bad idea.

Post # 6
529 posts
Busy bee

I am in the same boat as you, want to get married in Oct 2013 and the venues I have contacted are already booked. We aren’t engaged yet but SO has the ring and wants to get married next fall but he is reluctant to plan much before we are officially engaged. I am a little stressed about venues but hopefully we can find something. Good luck to you!

Post # 7
66 posts
Worker bee

@Lulume:  Oh my gosh, thank you for this! 

Post # 8
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Thank you! SO says the ring is coming before Thanksgiving. I plan to start full on planning after the holidays…for an October 2014 wedding. Dallas seems to be the wedding capital of the south, so I need to get on it!

Post # 9
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I keep trying to light a fire under SO’s butt but he says why worry about it now? lol I have a list of venues I want to see as soon as I have a ring on my finger. Then we’ll start looking into Photographers (Luckily I know a few) and then SO says he has a friend who will be our DJ (but he hasn’t asked him yet) we’re working on a list of songs we like and want to hear, so slowly but surely I’m planning lol

Post # 10
242 posts
Helper bee


I think that’s good advice if you know that it will happen in the future. It’s hard because you don’t want to go too far and get your hopes up for nothing but I agree that if you want a short engagement then looking and deciding on things before the engagement can’t hurt if you can maintain an emotional detachment from it. I think I will start to do that since we are planning on a short engagement. I started looking at dresses the other night. I probably will look at venues too soon just so I don’t feel overwhelmed if or shall I say “when” it happens

Post # 11
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Lulume:  Thanks for the heads up. SO and I have discussed having a destination wedding on one of the islands not far from where we live and possibly even eloping. I’ve looked into it but haven’t made any enquiries yet as to how much notice they’ll need. Best be doing that today!

Post # 12
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

SO and i both had fun planning things last week πŸ™‚ we hashed out the time of year, the theme and a general idea of our music. We both know the engagement is soon.

Post # 13
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

You don’t know how many late night planning sessions you have just justified… haha, I had backed off because I started feeling crazy that I was bookmarking ideas before I am engaged. But you bring up lots of good points! Especially for those of us who like to know all of our options before we make a decision… Doing a little legwork in advance doesn’t hurt πŸ˜‰ 

Post # 14
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

SO and I know we want to get married in May 2014, but we aren’t engaged yet (obvs.) Lulume speaks the truth!! (I have been the “wedding planner” for 5 different friends now).  I should add that I live in CA, where the wedding market is pretty crazy, and it may differ in other places.

SO and I are starting to visit venues now so that we can book it as soon as we are engaged. We have an appointment on Sunday and that venue said they are booked 20 MONTHS IN ADVANCE! (and this place seems pretty average- it is definitely not the most popular venue around!)  It’s our little secret and it is making waiting WAY more fun!

Also MANY couples gets engaged over the holidays and plan have an 18 month engagement and get married between April and September.  Luckily, most of these couples will enjoy the holidays and start wedding planning after New Years Day.  So my best advice is to book your venue before New Years Day if this is you!

Not to scare you, but I have one friend who started planning her summer wedding the September before- she got married on Friday the 13th of August because it was the only opening at a couple dozen venues ALL SUMMER (and a lot of people can’t miss work on a Friday to go to a wedding)!  Another friend of mine had a short engagement (6-7 months) and she wanted to get married in the main Catholic Cathedral… so her wedding was on January 1st at 9am (for obvious reasons, many people declined to attend).  They still loved their weddings and all that jazz, but the dates were not ideal. 

If your SO is down, go for it!  And if SO is not… then do your HW!  Check venues, look at pricing/menus and make a list of where you want to visit and do it ASAP after you get engaged!  Venues get booked WAY ahead of time, you have more time to get everything else lined up!  Hope this is helpful!

@Lulume:  Thanks for validating my crazy! LOL

Post # 15
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

i did the same kind of “planning” (which is not planning exactly, just looking things up on the internet) and it feels fine by now – well, we only got engaged on oct 7th and nobody’s making any hassle. being relaxed now and looking forward to an engagement photoshoot during our small vacation.

Post # 16
2 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

I totally agree with you about starting wedding planning early, because that’s what I did! πŸ™‚ However, I suggest only doing this if your bf tells you and shows you that he knows you’re the one he wantes to spend the rest of his life with and he will definitely propose soon. If he’s hesitant or vague about it then maybe don’t start researching yet lol!

My fiance and I moved in together just over two months after we started dating because we knew straight away that we wanted to get married and be together forever. Since we moved in together we talked about getting married as though it were a fact and something that would definitely happen. We actually wanted the time to go faster because our feelings were so strong and solid so soon and we both said we could have got engaged the day we moved in. During the next few months we talked about what type of ring to get and where we’d get married and he always said that we’d get engaged this year and married next June. In July this year we started trying on rings and so I felt secure that we would definitely get engaged soon. Then on 2 October he proposed on our 1 year anniversary (he had planned to propose on my birthday in August but the ring wasn’t back from resizing). I had already been looking at venues and dresses online since before we first went and tried on rings because I knew we would definitely be enaged this year and because we both wanted a short engagement so I wanted to be prepared and not overwhelmed when it happened.

My fiance is really understanding and supportive so I always told him about venues I thought would be good and he even asked for the wedding package of a hotel we stayed at in May. I admit I did go a little overboard sometimes and he had to remind me that we didn’t have to decide on a venue before we were engaged. But he always said he loved that I was looking because it showed him that I was excited about being with him forver.

My fiance is the first guy I had ever felt this way about or who had felt this way about me. He is also the first guy I’ve ever lived with or wanted to marry. When I was in my early twenties I thought I was in love and got heartbroken. I had never thought about marriage or researched wedding venues or rings because the guys I had dated never made me feel secure enough that we would be together forever. I also knew in my heart that they weren’t right for me. My fiance showed me complete love and devotion and that made me secure enough to trust that we would get married and be together. It’s true when they say that you just know when it’s right. 

Now that we’re engaged I’m glad that I started researching online and emailing wedding venues because our wedding is only 7 full months away and we basically know what we want and don’t want. Luckily we’re having a small wedding so it’s much easier to have a shorter engagement. After my months of research we have basically ruled out a hotel or a formal wedding venue as they all require larger numbers and are too stiff and uptight for us. We have decided to hire a luxury beach house and have a relaxed wedding there πŸ™‚

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