(Closed) A little advise please

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Generally, the Maid/Matron of Honor should put together the bachelorette, help organize the shower, and just be the bride’s go-to for wedding day stuff.  Have you asked your friend what she wants? There’s no rule that says all this needs to be a surprise.  Also, talk to the other bridesmaids, if there are any, to see what their budgets are and how involved they expect to be.  Talk to the bride’s mom and Future Mother-In-Law too, they might have ideas/want to be involved.

But first, talk to the bride. Ask her what she wants.  Does she want a surprise shower, surprise bachelorette, or does she want to know ahead of time? Does she want to go bar hopping for the bachelorette, or maybe an overnight at a B&B, a spa day, or just wine and movies in someone’s living room?  There are no hard and fast rules.

You will be fine, and you have plenty of time 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The thought of running around the nightclub district drunk, in a cheesy fake veil, and sipping drinks out of a penis-shaped straw horrified me. I had my “club kid” phase over and done with years ago. So my bachelorette party is a spa day with about 12 friends. We picked a city about 2 hours away by car, where the hotels are a lot cheaper, and will do about 3-4 spa treatments each, a nice dinner, then cocktails and relaxing.

Our second choice was to do some winery tours but the wineries near where I live are kind of underwhelming and we couldn’t really sort out the transportation without spending a small fortune. In MO you may be able to line up some brewery tours– there’s still drinking involved but it’s not so much about getting drunk as it is about wandering and tasting.

I took a candy-making class a few months ago and there was a pretty big bachelorette group in there. Check http://livingsocial.com to see what they offer in your area. Plenty of sites like that, too, but living social seems to have the most activity-oriented ones.

There’s a place near St Paul that lets you drive a tank (!!!! How fun would that be!!!), just ask google, my geography sucks so I don’t think that would be too close for you, but there might be something similar in your area.

Be creative, and don’t be afraid to ask the bride for her thoughts unless she’s dead-set on having a surprise. Ask the other bridesmaids for ideas too, and ask them if they want to be involved in the planning, to avoid and potential drama. You’ll also need to get a feel for their budgets.

Apart from that, you’re supposed to be the bride’s go-to girl— this doesn’t mean slave, and unfortunately some brides think it does, so be clear from the start about hoe much time and money you can contribute to it all. You don’t have to be mean about it, but it does help to get that all established as early as you can. You’ll need to give your opinion on lots of things– maybe the bride wants advice on dresses, jewelry, menus, etc. So find out what her priorities are— does she want to adhere to a strict budget? Or keep things really casual? You’ll need to help keep her on track!

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