Post # 1
Hey Bees–I know this would technically belong on the “relationships” board, but I don’t know the bees over there as well as you. 😉
I’m feeling a bit down and really need to vent…Today is BF’s birthday. I gave him his present on Saturday (b/c he was so excited about it :), and we had a great weekend together. Today is his actual birthday, however, and birthdays have always been a really big deal to me, so I planned a whole night of all his favorite things–dinner at his favorite restaurant, I made a peanut butter pie from scratch (he doesn’t like cake, so I try to ablige), bought him the “expensive beer” and did all of his laundry so he wouldn’t have to (we live together, but he usually does the laundry).
Anyway, when he got home he really wasn’t feeling well at all (he has really bad stomach problems) and so I said I could just make him dinner at home and we could go out on another night if he wanted to. But he said he really didn’t feel like eating anything and just wanted to play games on the computer so he went upstairs to the office to play video games.
It just made me really sad (like bawl into my pillow while watching a sappy movie and wallowing in self-pity kind of sad) and I don’t know why. I mean, I know I put a lot of work into making his birthday special for him and that it’s totally fine to be a little disappointed, but it is his birthday, and it is him that is sick and unable to do all those things that I’m sure he would’ve enjoyed as well, but I’m just REALLY freakin’ bummed out about it.
I work Tuesday-Saturday 11am-7pm every week, an hour and a half away from where we live. He leaves before I get up to go to work, and he’s usually barely awake when I get home (he tries to stay up to talk for a few minutes before going to bed). We’re in the process of moving closer to my job (kind of a half-way point between both our jobs) so we’ll have more of a normal schedule and not such a long commute for me, but needless to day, we barely see eachother during the week, and tonight was the last night for me to see him before this coming week starts all over again for me, and I won’t get to see him, basically, until next Saturday night. Besides the fact that tonight was his birthday night and I wanted to make it really special for him (because of our schedules, we don’t often get to go out or have date night or anything, so it’s a rare kind of excitement), and now he’s upstairs playing video games and I’m down here thinking about eating his pie all by myself.
Post # 3
Aw hun HUGS. I know you really put a lot of thought into it, but I’ve had nights like this. Balancing, really trying hard to make things special, but them just not working out as planned. Maybe just go tell him… sweetie, it’s your birthday, and you’re not feeling well, but I really wanted to make sure you had a special day… it is important to me. Maybe he can come up with an idea, given the circumstances, that will make his day a bit brighter and make you feel like you accomplished your mission. Not real great advice, but just know we all have these days, and while they are not the highlight of our relationships, we have to learn how to manage them so that they don’t ruin our day/night/week or build up frustrations. If there’s nothing you can do, go do something fun for you. I like wandering around Target, it always makes may day a bit brighter 😀
Post # 4
Hey, my guy does this roughly 1/3 of the time I try to do something special for him. Put his pie aside, go give him a back rub (or foot rub), and enjoy his company. My guy likes it when I’m playing computer games in the same room. *shrugs* Maybe grab some pepto-bismol or saltines and 7up, depending on the stomach upset…
Post # 5
This sucks. It is disappointing to have great plans for a special night that don’t work out. Maybe you can have a re-do on his Birthday on Sunday or next Monday. I hope both of you are feeling better tomorrow.
It sounds like you’re a great girlfriend who really cares a lot about him- he’s lucky to have you!
Post # 6
In my experience – boys get bouts of pms as well. there’s no real pattern to it, somtetimes they’re just misery guts. don’t take offense to this
Post # 7
Oh god I know exactly how you feel… Nearly the excat thing happened to me at my bf’s birthday in april… Birthdays are a really big deal to me and I was so upset!
I think you should just do what I did. Grab a glass of wine and eat a large slice of delicious cake yourself! I think you are allowed to be upset but don;t take it out on him, cos it’s obviously not his fault (I know you know that, but sometimes it’s hard to remember). In the end, I explained to my bf why I was upset and we re-planned a birthday evening later when he felt better and it was more of a nice date-night for both of us.
Post # 8
You’re a great Girlfriend, why didn’t you say anything? Communication is key. It sounds like you felt unappreciated, like when we wear the sexy lingerie get our hair and feet done on a special night and the bf doesn’t even notice. Just talk to him and I am sure you will feel better.