Post # 1
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
Okay- I just need some perspective and I have been lurking and reading for awhile.
I am 41 years old (never married) and my SO is 44 (divorced for 5 years). He is honestly the love of my life. We have only been dating 6 months (please don’t throw anything at me- I know it is short amount of time) and we are talking about getting married.
I asked him about the timeline on Dec 1st and his response was that we would be married within 2 years. Recently we have been talking about a destination wedding and he made the statement we might want to start looking at rings to which I replied – I have time right? (thinking engaged at end of the year) He said until April and then laughed because he has been joking that we should just get married when we go to Gatlinburg in April. We talked about that possibility and agreed Galtinburg might be the way to go for destination but not when. He did mention he still has to ask and because he is old fashioned ask my dad for permission and his kids permission.
What did I agree to? When should I expect a proposal based on that conversation? I know we will eventually get married but now that he has escalated talking about it and planning for it – it makes me think it is sooner than I think. Now I am keyed up about the proposal where I was relaxed before thinking end of the year.
There may not be anything to respond.. I think I just needed somewhere to vent. Thanks Bees!
Post # 3
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
Just wait until April. He needs time to do several things: ask you dad, ask his children, find a ring, order it, wait for it to arrive and maybe plan a special day.
Sounds to me like he’s good to go so no worries. Though I totally get that the waiting is hard and that you need to vent! I get impatient all the time. Try to bite your tongue though. If he hasn’t proposed by April just ask him if you should set a date for your marriage.
Post # 4
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
Like PP said….wait until April….He seems like a good guy. If it doesn’t happen in April, sounds promising it will eventually happen. It’s still early in the relationship. I don’t think you want to pressure him into marriage, especially since he was married before. I’m a divorced woman. My SO and I took our time and didn’t talk about marriage for a long time – I needed my space and time to heal and be with my kids.
Post # 5
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
Thanks Bees!
I think I just had a moment I needed to vent. Believe me I am not complaining. 5 years back I broke up with a guy I dated 8 years that never even talked about getting married. I just haven’t been in this situation and even though it is still early I finally know without a doubt this is the guy I want to spend my life with.
I will just cool my heels and wait until April- I am going to try to let it go and just enjoy whatever does happen and have faith the timeline he gave me will be the timeline we will follow. 🙂
Jmaze- I get what you mean about not pressuring him. The fact he has been divorced for 5 years makes it a little easier but I also can see where having kids and getting remarried is tricky. Luckly his kids are awesome so I am looking forward to being part of their life too. I promise- I will try my hardest to not push!
Post # 6
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
@FSUGirl99: It sounds like something is coming your way very soon! I agree with everyone else about waiting until April. That sounds to me it will be enough time for him to do everything he needs to do before an official proposal. If nothing happens after that though then yes, definetly bring it up to him again.
Oh, the way our men hold our hearts in their hands! They don’t even know…lol.
Member