(Closed) A little disappointed (small vent)

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

post!! post!! how long has it been since he proposed?

Post # 4
347 posts
Helper bee


I’m sorry you are feeling this way and definitely know you are not alone.  I’ve seen quite a few posts recently about girls feeling the same way.  How do you think your fi would react if you told him?  Can you exchange it/the setting?  Did he choose the ring all on his own?  I know from my own experience, even after years of being together with my husband, he still doesn’t always know what I like.  Sometimes he gets me something I love and other times…it’s definitely going back.  🙂

Please post a pic if you are comfortable.  I would love to see it. 

Post # 5
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I love my diamond, but am not a fan of the setting.  I waited a bit (month) and mentioned getting it reset because it wasn’t matching well with what I have in mind for a wedding band.  My Fiance confessed he found picking the setting to be very intimidating and just went with whatever the jeweler recommended.  We’re current planning on getting a new settin/band for the diamond when we buy our wedding bands.

Post # 7
12 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yous should say something to FI! You are going wear it everyday for the rest of your life.. I am very picky when it comes to rings.. i let me Fiance know in advance that I wanted to pick mine out 

Post # 8
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Your diamond sounds beautiful,  but if you are not completely happy then you need to be honest with him and with yourself and follow your gut. Look into getting it re-set. Lots of women do this for various reasons so it’s not unheard of. Will bringing this up hurt his feelings? I would think that if I didn’t like my setting and I told my Fiance, he may be a bit disappointed that he “didn’t do good” but would want me to wear my ring with pride and be thrilled every time I looked down at that finger. Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do. For what it’s worth, I’m sure your ring is gorgeous and I’d love to see a picture of it.

Post # 9
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think your ring is really nice.  If you think it won’t hurt him too much (probably a bit is unavoidable) I would say something.  You will be wearing it for the rest of your life.  Just curious…what setting would you like?

Post # 10
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Sometimes guys are all about the stone and it’s not that bad to ask for a change of the setting. THat makes a huge difference. It might be a sensitive way you can approach the subject while still praising him for the choice of cut and quality of the stone. 

But if you decide it’d be too painful for him to say something, then you might want to change your mindset a little. First of all, if you intend to wear the e-ring with a wedding band, a wedding band can also change the look a lot–especially if you get those bands that are attached. In addition, you know, an engagement ring doesn’t have to be something you wear FOREVER. A lot of women I know have stopped wearing theirs after their wedding–either it’s not conducive to their job (chefs, teachers, scientists), or they think it’s too expensive to wear day-to-day or whatever. And in five years, I think that most men wouldn’t mind if their wives THEN said, “you know honey, I still love my e-ring, but I think it’s a little dated for my style now. Can we do something a little different with it for our 5-yr, maybe add some sidestones? Set it in an eternity band?” (in other words, can you live with it as is for the next 5 years?) THe other thing to remember is that you’ll have lots of occasions for new jewelry–births, new jobs, new houses, whatever, and at those points, you might be able to ask for another piece that you can wear in your e-ring’s place. 

Sorry, I know that’s not going to be the most *popular* advice, but they are different ways to think about your ring if you really think telling him you’re not crazy about it will break his heart. 

Post # 11
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Maybe when you’re looking for wedding bands, you could mention that you’d love something a little more unique, but you’re worried it wouldn’t go with your e-ring, and float the idea of having it reset in a way that’s more what you’re looking for?  That’s a pretty classic setting, so he probably thought there was no way it could be wrong, but maybe he’d understand more if you’re being positive about it instead of negative.  For instance, instead of saying it’s “not you” or you “don’t like it,” focus on finding something “more your style” that’s a little “more unique.” 

I think it’s worth it to have a ring you love, but try really hard not to make him feel bad about it.

Post # 14
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

any idea what kind of a band you may like?  honestly, it is a pretty simple one so i can’t imagine him being offended.  i think it is beautiful, but you should looove the whole ring.  i would just emphasize how much you love the stone (which, thank god, is the most important part and easiest to transfer), but you’d like to go together to pick out a different setting.  i would still keep him involved in the process, just clue him into what you are looking for.

Post # 16
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

ooooo so sparkly

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