Post # 1
I’m sorry if this has already been posted but I’m fairly new to this and havent learned how to use the full site yet.
Just a little back story first:
My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been together for five years. I’ve been wanting to get married for at least four of those years. Him not so much since he comes from a family that isnt really big on marrige. (Long term relationships yes, getting married no) In the past i’ve told him that if we were to get engaged, I wouldnt even talk about planning for a full year and that didnt speed up the process. So here we are now.
A few days ago my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I were talking about what changes we want to make for ourselves in 2011. The topic of getting married came up. We just played around with the idea of a guestlist and a bridal party. This kind of shocked me because in the past whenever i would bring up marrige, he would get the deer caught in headlights look. But eventually i just looked past it. The next day we were talking about it again and he says to me “Do you think that you could start pricing things that we need for our wedding so when we get engaged it wont be that overwhelming?” My jaw completely dropped. i didnt know what to say. Of course I had a bunch of ideas that I wanted to tell him right away but I didnt want to look crazy.
So my question is: If there is no date or even an actual propsal how am I supposed to start looking for things for a wedding. Are there things that i could possibly price now that dont necessarily need a timeline for? I’m confused. Maybe I am overreacting??
Post # 3
I’m kind of in the same boat. I haven’t gone as far as to call and price anything, however I would say that you could probably look online and check out different venues in your area or the area of where you would like to be. You could show him these options and say that although you don’t want to price anything without a date in mind, here are some options and let him know that some places can be booked out a year+ in advance. You could also start looking at colors, ideas for centerpieces, flowers, and so on. Definitely start building an inspiration board. Once you have an inspiration board you could share that with him and let him know that time of year will dictate price and so on.
Hope this helps!
Post # 4
I think that you need to tell him your concerns. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to want an actual proposal before you put the time into researching this stuff.
Post # 5
@LexNena: I have a friend that waited until she was engaged to search for a venue and afterwards she said that it would have been so much easier if she had thought about it before hand. Since she had to start from fresh she looked at alot of places that either didn’t fit in her budget or weren’t really what she wanted in the first place.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with just looking to see what you want, beach vs. country, number in the bridal party, sit down or buffet, what season, etc… Prices vary so much depending on these things that you should get a general idea of what are the most important things for your wedding and price those. Everything else can be figured out afterwards.
Post # 6
You can start doing everything as though you are planning someone else’s wedding. You can get quotes for things for 2012. Lots of venues and such will have pricing now for next year.
Post # 7
Thank you ladies for your help!!! It is greatly appricated!
Post # 8
@CorgiTales: I agree, I would tell him that you would be MORE than happy to look for information but you would prefer to do it after you are officially engaged so you won’t feel weirded out when inquiring. Many places want to know when your wedding day would be and etc. and you don’t want to be at a loss for words when it comes to those questions during your inquiry.
Post # 9
i would start planning. pick a theme & start going for it.
if not a theme you can get an idea of how much renting a church would be or all the stuff for an outside wedding. start getting an idea of the price of food. like call diff caterers & see what kind of prices they all have & write it down! all of it. make it organized. get a binder & section dividers. put like theme, location, food, drink, decorations, favors, flowers, dress, tuxes, etc. & just start looking at general things & get a price. write down the store u found it at too. you can do a lot of this online. i mean if i were you…and in a relationship where marriage is like touchy..if he showed interest & didnt want to be over whelmed with it–shew i’d jump on it & go like crazy. figure out how much yall could afford right now. figure out maybe some guest list ideas. figure out everything you can. thats what id do if i were you anyway (:
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2015 - Garden of the Gods
Keep in mind that you can call around/search online and price things without having a date in mind. All you have to say is “We haven’t set a date yet, but we’re thinking this Fall…or maybe next Spring”. Ask if there are specials during certain months, that way you can weigh if the cost difference might be worth considering an off-season wedding. Find out what they require for deposits so that if you’re serious about one certain place, you can get that money to them once your planning begins.
We just had our wedding February 12…it was off-season. Not the Autumn wedding I’d always imagined growing up (or in the 7 years it took him to propose…!), but gorgeous nonetheless. Sometimes it’s the smallest thing that will bring the entire wedding to life, for us it was the off-season and the creativity it sparked within us.
If you start looking now, you’ll be able to seize some opportunities that are harder to grasp in the middle of all of the stress of wedding planning. (Yes, it does get more stressful once you’re actually planning and signing paperwork…sorry.)
Post # 11
You can have a wedding for 500$ to 50,000 it is entirely up to you and your budget. Just becuase you have it doesn’t mean you need to spend it. Same thing goes for engagement rings. It can cost whatever you want it to cost. I would talk overall budget with him, its much easier to price things that way. Do you want a backyard BBQ or a 500 crowd at the Metro art Gallery?
Its about a life together, not about the money. EVER!
Post # 12
I would call places and get quotes for different times of the year. Then you’ll have an idea about how much things cost when, how many people you can afford etc.