(Closed) A little rant….

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What to do with MOH?
    Keep her and let it go : (13 votes)
    93 %
    Lose the WP : (1 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2607 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    She’s happy for you, and wants to stand up with you on your big day.  That’s enough.  It sounds like she has her own life to live.  Weddings are about the couple getting married, and to expect others to be as excited as you are or to drop everything to help plan YOUR big day is a little silly.  Granted, it would be nice if she would at least e-mail you back and say, “Oh wow, gorgeous dress!” but you asked her to be your Maid of Honor, not your wedding planner.  I didn’t expect my Maid/Matron of Honor to do much besides show up on the big day, (and she’s my SIL who lives half an hour from me).

    If you’re hurt, shoot her an e-mail, (or better yet, call her!) and tell her, “Hey, I know you’re busy, but I’ve noticed you seem a little distant.  Is everything okay?”  

    Post # 5
    Member
    1774 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I believe that the Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to be your right-hand lady! BMs just show up.

     

    I think you need to talk to her. Let her know you really want her involved, even just for feedback. She doesn’t need to pick your dressup from here or there or whatever. It helps so much to have someone to bounce things off of!

    Post # 8
    Member
    964 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    It could be that she has a lot going on.  I am swamped at work right now and I am in a wedding before mine and was suppose to check into some stuff but I haven’t been able to get back with the bride because I am so busy.   Give her a call and if she doesn’t answer just leave a message asking if she is okay because you havent’ heard from her.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2105 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It is kinda odd that she would ask for the info and then not respond.  Plus, I agree with one of the PPs that your Maid/Matron of Honor should be your right hand lady.  You could give her the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to her being busy, etc, but I know I’d be a little thrown off by it, too.  

    Definitely be honest and ask her about it, maybe there’s something going on in her life that she hasn’t made public.  Let her know that your friendship is important and that you don’t want there to be any hurt feelings between you, which is why you’re reaching out to her and wondering why it’s been difficult to get ahold of her.  Also let her know that you’d like to set a date/time for dress shopping and ask when is convenient for her.  It’s difficult for people to wiggle around questions when you’re being direct.  

    If she doesn’t respond to you reaching out to her, maybe ask if she’s really busy and being Maid/Matron of Honor is adding too much to her plate?  Honestly, it would bother me as well if she’s planning a trip for other gatherings but hasn’t gotten back to you.  Is the baby shower for her?  

    Post # 10
    Member
    2158 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Don’t worry about it. She has her own life to live, and it sounds like she is still genuinely happy for you, and is just very busy.  I’m sure when it comes down to crunch time she’ll be there.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2105 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    hmm… it does sound fishy to me, but I’m also going through a similar scenario with one of my bridesmaids. For her to post about her plans for the year and leave out your wedding (esp after you mentioned it) is kinda mean. I’d definitely ask her about it directly – try to get her on the phone, but if you can’t, send an email.  If you don’t hear back from her, you might have to set a timeline as to when you’re going to scrap the idea of a wedding party, depending on how important it is for you to have her or anyone else up there with you.

    I agree with the sentiment that one person’s wedding isn’t as important to others as it is to the bride, but someone who agrees to be Maid/Matron of Honor does agree to certain things and should decline if they can’t be there for the bride.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1774 posts
    Buzzing bee

    That does sound odd. I’d check in, because she might be stressing out because of it for some reason (Finances, time, etc) and therefore she could be avoiding it.

     

    “I agree with the sentiment that one person’s wedding isn’t as important to others as it is to the bride, but someone who agrees to be Maid/Matron of Honor does agree to certain things and should decline if they can’t be there for the bride.” 



    Yep!! It’s also hard for me to fathom wanting to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man for someone (implying we’re close!) and not really caring to hear details. I can understand not wantint to -sacrifice- things in my life for a wedding that isn’t mine, but that clearly isn’t going on here.

     

    I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man in July and I wish the bride would include me more, actually. =( I was sad I didn’t get to go dress shopping with her, or Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping (she chose them online) or anything like that. Especially sicne she invited me dress shopping initially, but when I couldn’t go because of school she went with someone else after promising to reschedule. =( Boo. I don’t want to plan her wedding for her, but I love being asked my opinion if she wants it or at least hearing where she’s going with things!

    The topic ‘A little rant….’ is closed to new replies.

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