Post # 1
I just got engaged and am incredibly excited about it, but while putting together the guest list and thinking about the bridal party… its all making me a bit sad. I have two very close girlfriends, one will be Maid/Matron of Honor and the other a bridesmaid. FI wants 4 groomsmen. I think I have someone to be a third, and some possibilities for a fourth, but in all honesty, they aren’t *that* close to me, and I guess I am a little sad that I dont have closer girlfriends. And… even more than that, Fiance could have 20 groomsmen (but because he knows I am limited, he is also limiting…), I guess it just makes me feel a little lonely? I have more guy friends than girls, but they are not close enough that I want to make male bridesmaids or anything like that. I dont know – anyone else feel this way? Should I just ask the other 2 girls so I have 4, I mean they are good friends, they just live in another state and recently our contact hasnt been as much as it used to be (college roommates 7 years ago), and I think they would love to be my bridesmaids, but I guess, I am just not *that* excited for it? Maybe I’m being the selfish one… i mean i would be honored if they were my bridesmaids, but I guess i am sad that we are not as clos as we used to be.
In addition, his guest list is way bigger than mine (like 150 v. 75 – mostly family for me, probably only 20 friends), and he just has more close friends than I do… this never bothered me before, but it feels a little weird now. Sigh… I feel like a loser!!
Post # 3
Don’t ask people you aren’t close to. Why do you need lots of bridesmaids? What a hassle it can be! I had one. My best friend. That’s it. It was awesome to not have to deal with lots of dresses and shoes and stuff, and to buy only one bridesmaid gift, etc. In all fairness, if my other dearest friend had not had to be out of the country this summer, I probably would have had her, too, so it’s not like I was all set on having only one.
Enjoy that you have a few close friends, who matter a lot to you. Honestly many of the brides who have lots of bridesmaids end up stuck with that because they had sisters and sisters-in-law and cousins they have to ask (I was once one of 12 for that reason – it was a nightmare).
Post # 4
Me and Fiance have a similar situation. I have two BMs, he has three GMs that are his brothers. He could have had wayyy more with how many friends he has, and I am fine with my two. I have other girlfriends, but these two are my best friends. I don’t mind that it’s uneven. They won’t walk down in pairs anyway.
Post # 5
Don’t worry, you are not a loser! I wouldn’t ask people just as fillers for bridesmaids, who cares if you are uneven. My bridal party is uneven, but we are so happy to have the people standing with us that mean the most to us. Also, you are not alone in the numbers either. I have a very small family and my fiancee has a very large family. Only 1/3 of the guests are mine at our wedding.
Post # 6
I don’t have a lot of bridesmaids, either. I’ve just never had a lot of close friends in my life, so picking bridesmaids was a major production for me. I’ve decided on my sister being my Maid/Matron of Honor because I know she will get the job done, plus she and I are getting a bit closer. The other bridal attendants I’m thinking about asking I’m close to, but we don’t have daily communication. When we do speak, it’s usually me who initiates. I might just ask the one other person and be done with it.
Don’t feel bad about the situation. I was upset about mine for a hot-minute. But honestly, I’m glad I won’t have to deal with the drama of a large bridal party. I say invite the two and make it an intimate, fun experience.
Post # 7
I’m just like you! I only moved to my current city where I met my fiancee 3 years ago, and am only just now feeling comfortable and close to people, especially girls!
I used to have AMAZING girlfriends, but ever since I moved, ‘the only friends I have are my fiancee’s friends, which are guys. So finding girl bridesmaids was tough. My fiancee could have like 10, I struggled to find 4. And 2 of them are family! haha, so there you go. You’re not alone! 🙂 Just try and enjoy your day, and it’s about you and your fiancee, not you and your bridesmaids. That’s what I kept reminding myself about.
Post # 8
Fiance and I are only choosing one person each. We both chose our best friends. It was an easy decision to make, they are the only people we could imagine standing up there with us. I have 6 close girlfriends that I could have chosen to be bridesmaids, but honestly I didn’t want that big of a bridal party. There was no hurt feelings between the other girls because they knew Maid/Matron of Honor is my childhood best friend and I only picked her, they all know they are still important to me. We’re also on a budget as we are paying for everything ourselves. With only 1 Maid/Matron of Honor I only had to worry about 1 gift and I could afford to pay for her hair, makeup and nails the day of. For every girl it’s more dress fittings to worry about, more gifts to buy, more people to please, more flowers to buy etc.
You don’t need to have a large bridal party. You don’t need alot of people up there to prove that people love you and you have friends. It’s less stress with that many girls, and only chose the ones you are closest with rather than trying to fill up a bridal party.
Post # 9
I was always under the impression that your party should be people you’re super-close to. I’ve never been one to have multiple super-close people.
I have people I *could* ask, they’re probably the definition of “close”, but I probably won’t. My brother is in college an 3 hours away, and he wants to be my honorable person. My super-close friend is 8+ hours away in NYC. My close friend is 5 hours away in MD, and so is FI’s sister. I’m not close to her, but she’s likely going to be very helpful, so I could/should probably ask her. I guess I’ll ask her if I ask someone else, and if I don’t, I’ll just give her a shout-out.
I wouldn’t ask friends I was once close with, or people I know just for filler. That seems like it’s asking for more headache/drama.
Post # 10
I probably could have written this myself. I’ve always just had a few close friends and never really thought twice about it until I started planning my wedding. It took awhile, but I finally realized that there’s nothing wrong with having a low number of bridesmaids (or close friends). It truly is about quality rather than quantity (it’s also a lot cheaper :)).
Post # 11
Thanks girls, all your responses really mean a lot to me. i think i just needed a little reassurance. 🙂 i think its sometimes easier for guys to have a lot of “close” friends, but with girls, i think we define “close” differently… i dont know maybe thats just the way i see it…
i am going to do the 2 for sure, and i will think about the 3rd girl, she is close, its more of a far away friend, which makes contact limited, but when we are together, its still great. i wont worry about coming up with a 4th, who cares if its a little uneven! 🙂