I totally feel your pain.
Okay, so I was at the pharmacy picking up a prescription that is listed under my maiden name and started to say, as I have for many years, that “I can guarantee I’m the only S*****a in your system…”… but then had to stop myself, because my new name, my married name, is not as unique as my maiden name. NOT EVEN CLOSE. I mean I can’t even get a normal gmail account with my new last name. The combinations that it comes with are egregious.
There’s 258 people with my married name (first + newlast) on facebook. Two hundred fifty-eight. Yeah. Two hundred fifty-eight Michelle B******’s in the country registered on facebook. Ick. There’s like 168 or something on myspace. There’s a marketing specialist, an online how-to/what to do & not to do writer (what shoes to wear for a job interview, what exactly is a duvet?, on hubs, e-zing, helium, about, etc), an anesthesiologist (who is published but not the same one as the writer), a business consultant (like I know what that is??), a widow of a soldier killed in Iraq (they eloped- they were smart), a techie blogger, a elementary teacher, a red cross volunteer, a college professor, a student loan financer (loan offier- collegiate funding services), and this list goes on.
There’s even one that has her resume posted on a .net version of our name. Well, now what am I supposed to do when I graduate grad school??? She totally stole my domain!
There are only a few other people with my maiden last name on facebook… lol and I know I’m related in some way to them on my father’s side. But one thing I loved… that there were none with my whole name- I was the only Michelle S*****a in the country. I know this for a fact.
Before the wedding, I was really adament about not changing my name… I felt like I was giving up my identity. I knew I was unique- my name said it all.
Then there was St Patrick’s day (before) dinner & I had gotten into a discussion about not changing my name with the elders of my family (my mother’s siblings) and they stated that I was being disrespectful to my husband by not changing my name, that I was keeping one foot out the door at all times. Which I didn’t think at all… I just thought I was keeping my identity.
Then two days before the wedding, people kept asking what my new name would be and I would reply, oh its still going to be Michelle S*****a… oh the LOOKS I GOT! OH MY! I got all the feminazi talks and I’m like ummm… I’m not doing it for the feminism thing. I’m doing it because I’ve earned degrees with this name. It’s unique (hard to say but still unique nonetheless).
Then came the wedding, where we were announced (all traditional and all) Mr & Mrs B*****… three times. And I’m just like okay so this is it.
And then we get back to our room, and now hubby is all buzzed from the party, so I ask him, “do you want me to change my name, or does it really, really not matter to you?”
He replies- “well if I had my way- but no pressure- I would have you change it…” Then he continues… “I know it is a pain in the butt, your license, social security card, passport, credit cards, bank accounts, life insurance policies, medical insurance policy, car insurance policy, doctors offices… there’s a lot to do, but yes, I would want you to change it, if you want to.” So yes, he’s been thinking about it, and really does care.
So I agreed.
No hyphen. No ‘old middle’ ‘old last’ then new last… I’m not giving up my middle name, it’s pretty. I kind of need my maiden until I get all of my credit cards switched over. So when I went to the DMV to get a new drivers license, I asked to just add my old last to my middle names (you know like those people with five names) and married last is the official legal last.
But I still feel like I’m giving something up. It’s weird.