(Closed) a little shocked by registries

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Well I have heard of lingerie showers so its not too unordinary.  However, if she wants the latest bikini or bathrobe that would send a red flag.

Post # 4
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Not old fashioned. The entire thing is tacky. “In addition to” a gift is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever read. Donate to charity yourself if it’s so important to you.

Post # 5
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

lingerie showers are fairly common. i wouldnt get your panties in a bunch about it (hey-oooo! sorry i had to Wink )

 

if this invite is for a surprise shower, maybe SHE didnt even create the VS registry?

Post # 6
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it’s a new trend for people to register for anything they want. I heard that some people register for video games and DVDs these days.

To some degree, it makes sense. Many couples are already living together before marriage, so how many spatulas, towels, and hand mixers do they need?  That being said, we registered for “traditional” stuff to upgrade from the Dollar Store items that we had when we combined households.

I don’t think the Victoria’s Secret registry is so bad.  After all, I’m sure they’ll use the gifts to keep the marriage spicy. Good for them! 😉

Post # 7
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I love lingerie showers!! I think a silk VS bathrobe is a good gift? I’ve never heard of people registering for one though… normally the invite just says “34C/Medium”.

Post # 8
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t think that’s too bad for a bridal shower, but I would not personally do it. As long as Victoria’s Secret didn’t come in the wedding invite I don’t think it’s too bad. 

Post # 9
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ohhhhhhh my. I am in the same boat as you, this would make me very uncomfortable and I would not purchase anything off of her VS registry. But I am also not comfortable with people giving me lingerie at my shower, I told my Mom if she gets me anything like that I will refuse to open it in front of everyone. I’m just not a fan of people like my grandmother seeing my panties. 

Post # 10
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

who cares what people register for?? it’s just a wish list – if you don’t want to get them something from the list, get them money or a gift card instead – why does it bother you so much and why do you think it’s tacky???

Post # 11
Member
5065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think it’s a cool idea for the shower, I friend of mine had one. I wimped out though I didn’t actually buy her underwear. I got her a gift voucher.

Post # 13
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think VS registry is that bad since, as PPs pointed out, lingerie showers are popular.  However, including registry invites with the wedding invite is against etiquette and I personally dislike the whole charity thing.  Always seems a bit AWish.  Why not just take the cash you receive and donate it yourself?

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t like registry info in an invitation, but I’m ok with it in a shower invite.  The point of a shower is to give gifts, and I’m all for making it easy on me and just telling me what she wants.  If it’s a lingerie shower and she has made a list of her favorite styles and colors, that’s fine with me.  I’d want to get something a little naughtier, too, though.  🙂

Post # 16
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LadyCupcake:  Often times there will be a lingerie THEMED bridal shower.  As you mentioned two invitations (to confuse the bride-to-be) it seems that she isn’t involved in the planning of the shower – which is appropriate.  But this may mean that she doesn’t really have any intention of asking wedding guests to buy her lacy under-things.  Shower guests are suppused to be those nearest & dearest to the guest of honor; people the hostess is sure WANT to give gifts. 

However, I can completely understand your reluctance to give a bra and panty set to someone infront of family members.  If there isn’t anything on the list that you are comfortable giving, then you should feel free to give a small kitchen gift (like towels, hot pads and/or measuring cups).  You might also choose to give a robe if you’d like to stay with the (apparent) theme. 

I agree that including registry information with a wedding invitation is bad form – it implies that a gift is required to attend the wedding.  However, it isn’t terrible to include with the shower invitations, because – as mentioned – the point of a shower IS to give gifts, so the registry information is pertinent.

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