(Closed) A little ticked after going to my friend's wedding

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

The upside of the whole thing (even if you do have similar decorations) is that you’ll be the one to have the better wedding because you won’t be making her mistakes of having such a jerky exclusive bridal party.

Are the same group of people coming to your wedding? If not, then they will never know the difference. It is annoying your friend did that though, and I think it’s okay to feel annoyed as a result. But imitation is the highest form of flattery. 

Perhaps to make yourself feel better, add an additional element that your friend didn’t have? Then you can destress from the situation.

Post # 3
4037 posts
Honey bee

I’m guessing you still have time to change your centerpieces, and other details.

Post # 4
9589 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Well you have 6 months so you could still change your floral colors, linens, etc so it’s not exact exact. Some people just don’t have the confidence in their own taste to use their own ideas. It’s a compliment, and I assure you no one else will care or notice but you even if you kept it all the same. 

Post # 5
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2027

rebeccasum:  I agree with pp, 6 months gives some time to change a few things. 

Post # 6
8944 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

rebeccasum:  Did you see any of your ideas on Pinterest or anywhere else online? If you did, then she probably saw them there too. Popular stuff is popular.

Post # 8
1204 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

How many guests who went to their wedding will be at yours? My guess is not many. Just keep your original ideas (especially if you’ve already made purchases). I’m sure nobody will care.

Post # 9
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

rebeccasum:  This is annoying, absolutely! But, be flattered and then change your ideas. You are clearly the creative one in the friendship, so you will no doubt be able to make some tweaks and have an original and *you* wedding that reflects you and your fiancé. And even if you keep everything the same, you won’t care about any of it once you are marrying the love of your life, and certainly not once you are married and/or have children. I promise. 

Post # 10
209 posts
Helper bee

that is so annoying. I am sorry bee. I guess you could change things, but if it is really what you want then I wouldn’t. So annoyed for you. 

Post # 11
12464 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Personally, I wouldn’t change a thing. Between your family, FI’s family, and FI’s friends, how much of the guest list will even overlap? Your closest friends will know this was your plan all along. It would honestly never occur to me to think someone had copied another person’s wedding. It’s never exactly the same. For example, almost every fall or winter wedding I’ve attended recently has featured navy dresses. 

The other issues aren’t within the bride’s power, though I agree with you on the lack of appeal of a wisecracking officiant. And if the excluding BMs were on your guest list, you still have time to  remove them. That would solve two of your issues!

Post # 12
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Three are two totally separate unrelated issues here. 1.  The fact that her decor was similar — honestly, I don’t anyone will care or notice.  She has the right to do whatever she wants even if she got the ideas from you.  I think it would be silly for you to start changing things at this point. Yeah it sucks and I’m sorry that she did that, but I think you should just move on and forget about it.

2.  Sounds like her wedding was just not that fun.  Well, yours will be.  Some weddings have a weird vibe like that. 

Post # 13
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’d be annoyed about the cliquish behavior, I mean seriously are we still in high school? But I wouldn’t change any of my wedding details because guests simply don’t compare one wedding to another in that way. If I go to two weddings and they have similar styles or elements, I’ll just think lavender (or whatever)  is very fashionable this year. I wouldn’t create any extra work or stress for myself over this. 

Post # 14
1587 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

rebeccasum:  Agree with this. In our internet pinstagram age, I am pretty sure that nothing is original anymore. And that’s OK. It just means people think it’s a good idea! I can understand being surprised since she had said one thing and done another, but let it go. Six months is far enough apart, no one is going to care about the comparison as much as you. If you love it and think it’s beautiful, keep it so that you can enjoy it. The bridal party behavior sounds a bit childish, but to each their own. What’s the point of dwelling on it?

Post # 15
178 posts
Blushing bee

I am annoyed on your behalf, but part of me can’t help but think, “Great! Now you can buy them off of your friend for FAR CHEAPER than you were going to!”

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