(Closed) A little worried

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
196 posts
Blushing bee

I would tell her beforehand. My parents split when I was 18, and it was definitely for the best for my dad. I would be pretty hurt if he didn’t tell me he were getting married to someone beforehand.

How well does she know your FI? Maybe invite her out to dinner, just you and her and explain how much you love him and want to be happy with him.

Post # 4
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You have to find a way of telling her…She would be crushed if you ran off and got married…

(I eloped for my first marriage- I had friends that didn’t speak to me for months afterwards) So I can only imagine what your daughter would do if you didn’t tell her.

Even if she is annoyed after you tell her…I’m sure she will get over it. She has to have some tolerance of your Fiance or she would have made your relationship hell all this time.

I’m also sure that she can see with her own eyes, how happy you are with your Fiance…Give her time but please tell her before hand. 

Post # 5
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Tell her beforehand. If I was your daughter, I would feel betrayed if you didn’t. 

Post # 6
4951 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would tell her as well. Does she realize how her dad/your ex was treating you? Maybe approach it in a way like “I know this is probably strange and uncomfortable, but I’ve finally found love and hope you will share in our happiness.”


Best of luck, everyone deserves to be happy!

Post # 7
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I would be so heartbroken if my mother eloped without telling me first! My parents split when I was seven, and both remarried when I was still pretty young. I know that i didn’t “take” to their new mates right away, but when I grew up, and realized that both of them had chosen kind, and loving partners that made them happy then I knew that that was what mattered. Even though my stepdad is partially def and snores like an asthmatis walrus, I don’t have to live with him and he treats my mother like an absolute Queen, lol.

I hope you can sit down with your daughter and tell her why you want to marry this man, how much you love him, and how important she is to you. And I hope she can look past any jealousy she might feel of your new mate, and know that you deserve a chance at love too!


Good luck!

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