Post # 1
I am a 22 years old girl, got engaged and would be married in coming year, though exact date is not decided ..
Problems: I am going through stupid sort of self-pity and weird apprehensions.
I am an only child of my father; mother died when I was 6 years old.I was raised in a convent .
It seems to me that I do not know from where to begin, how to start; a part of me wants to run away and do a simple registry thing, but on the other hand a part of me wants to have a beautiful ceremony, a beautiful dress, nice decor, good food and lots and lots of photos.
For a very long time and it still is , my parents wedding album was my companion; used to look at the phots with love, fondness and admiration—oh, how beautiful my momma, my father is looking so handsome–you know the typical girly reactions…
So I want to leave something to my daughter, incase I die young—-yes I know I am being pathetic and self-pitying, but my mother, my mother’s mother , both died in their mid to early thirities….
Bees, I do not know what to do, how to go about things, help me—Please
Should I follow my father’s advice, a simple registry followed by a lunch, which seems easy and convenient and matches my father and husband’s temperament ; or, should I try to have a real wedding…
I am so so lonely—
Post # 3
Have you talked to your Fiance about these thoughts? He may be able to help you decide one way or another. I don’t know what the right answer for you is, but my advice would be to have a think about what kind of wedding you and your Fiance truly want. Even if you do decide to have a simple registry, that doesnt mean you can’t have a beautiful dress and pictures that show your future children just how happy and in love you were.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre
You can still have beautiful pictures regardless of what you decide.
Post # 5
I have asked him once and he was like whatever pleased me.. He is much older than I am and quite non-emotional about many things, but I know he wants to see me happy and content .
According to him we are already married–yes, weird I know, but that’s what he said last time we met.
Actually his family belongs to a different religion , though he himself is an athiest but there was religious rites done according to his family’s religion. It was not a ceremony, I just signed a simple document, no one was invited or I did not get dressed, or something, so yes he jokes I am his wife, no need for a wedding ceremony.
But my heart wants a beautiful Church wedding–
Post # 6
I feel you. I was lucky enough to have my mom around til about 3 years ago. I wont lie, it’s hard and the fact that she is gone pops up a LOT in the wedding planning process, moreso than any other time, and also that I dont really have a lot of best friends or anything. I would say if you can count on someone to help you, whether it’s your husband (lol) or a friend, you’re going to need someone to help w/the planning process and bounce ideas off of. I use the forum here a lot, none of my friends are really close enough other than just random questions I bounce off of them, my daughter is 17 and she is ok, and the fiance has some input, but really, it’s mostly me making the decisions or explaining to someone else why this decision even matters-so it’s kind of a lot.
we were also married (by our bank) so we could share benefits at work about a year and a half ago, we already call each other husband and wife, but this is just the fomality of it all and it’s actually turning out to be fun. we contemplated eloping with a small celebation w/just a few folks and close family but we got an earful from other friends and family and decided we should do a real wedding.
It is good to take time with a decision and make sure you are doing what YOU want to do, both of you, because it can be hard, stressful and adds up quick. Whatever you decide to do can be fun and meaningful to both of you (just get creative).
Post # 7
You know bee, I do not have any one to discuss any thing at all except for my father, he is greatest father on this earth but–I do not know how to say it–well he is a typical capricorn father, a bit reserve and old-fashioned; he wants to see me happy but he is a quiet man by nature and sort of a man who gives lots of space to other persons and sometimes you get lost and lonely in this space.
His charachteristic answer to anything would be, whatever pleases you my girl and he would say it with honesty and simplicity that I would just stay and sit there quietly by her side and saying to myself that Baba I do not know what pleases me.
I am getting stuck between two opposite things—silence and solitude of my routine life and attraction and fascination to glitz, romance, and glamour—