- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016 - Stone Garden Events
My bf and I have been together for 4.75 years and have lived together for almost 2. I am 31, and he is 36. We are very much in love, but I don’t see an engagement coming any time soon. Most of the time, it doesn’t bother me, but some days it seems like it’s all I think about. My little sister, who is 26, has been engaged for a year now. I feel really happy for her because I love her fiance like a little brother I never had, but it still stings a bit.
There are several factors why it could be a couple years before we get engaged (let alone married). Late last year, I broached the marriage topic with him again (I swear I only bring it up about once a year). I was trying to prepare myself for his answer – I half expected him to say he never wants to get married. In the past he would always shrug and try to change the subject. I love the guy so much that being married is not as important to me as being in a relationship with him. Well, this last time he said he DID want to get married….eventually. Okay, now that marriage was in fact still on the table, it has opened a can of worms in me emotionally. I want to get married soon! I tried to probe bf a little more on his thoughts. He said he could not get engaged until his mother has recovered, because he was not emotionally ready to take that step until she was better. They are very close. She was diagnosed with cancer last year, and has been persevering through surgery and treatments. I am in total agreement with him that we should wait until his mother has recovered. She just finished chemo, and soon she will go through some tests to determine if she is cancer free. Cross your fingers and think some happy thoughts her way. She is a strong lady.
His mother’s health aside, there are other factors preventing us from walking down the aisle. I lost my job last February, and I’ve been searching for a new one ever since. Job hunting is hard…and disappointing! I feel like I need to be financially secure again to even consider getting engaged and to start planning a wedding. I am lucky I have quite a bit of savings to see me through this period, but I was hoping to use it to go toward a wedding, not paying bills! On top of that, our townhouse flooded last month when a pipe burst. I couldn’t believe how much water there was! The repairs have been very costly, which my bf has covered since I don’t have a job. I feel terrible that I cannot help with the cost, but I told him I would help as soon as I get a paycheck again. So I know since he is feeling the crunch from all the repair bills, getting a ring will probably be the last thing he can pay for right now.
I love my life with him, and I know I am lucky in many respects – bf and I are healthy, I have enough money saved up to get me through this tough patch in my career, our relationship is fantastic, we have great families – but I still can’t stop feeling a bit envious of all the friends and family getting engaged, married, and having kids. I know some day we will get there, but today I just need to be strong.
- This topic was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Avena.