(Closed) A lot of rsvp declines and feeling sad. Anyone else?

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

It’s opposite for me – we are having the wedding in the town where we met (which happens to be his hometown) so many of my friends from home won’t make it. Our wedding is also on a Friday which also brought our numbers down. We invited 335 and are expecting about 220 (a few RSVPs are still unconfirmed). Yes, this bothered me every time we got another decline, but after I considered the day of the week it’s falling and the fact that many people would have to travel hours and/or take off work, I am looking at it in a better light knowing that so many people want to be there! I agree though, it always stings a little when some people don’t come. Or when some people don’t RSVP too! haha

Post # 4
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We are only inviting 160 and I’m hoping only 130 confirm YES.  Bad huh?   Its just not in our budget though…..

You guys still have a lot of people coming considering it is Memorial Day weekend (a LOT of people travel that weekend)

Post # 5
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

You’re not alone!  I mean, I’m not super bummed about it because I was expecting it, but more than half of our invited guests said no.  We’re getting married where we live (Nashville) but I’m from New Mexico and Fiance is from Oklahoma and all our friends live in Texas where we went to college.  So.  A lot of people are going to have a hard time making the trek.  It worked out nicely for us because we were able to give everyone the courtesy of an invite, knowing we wouldn’t have to pay for another meal (also, some of those not attending have sent lovely cards and touching letters and sweet gifts, which is really great).  Of course, we would have liked a few more “yes” RSVPs and there are some people we were really holding out hope would make it, even though it was tough.  But this is great for the budget, and keeps the wedding small, which Fiance appreciates because he was more than a little nervous about standing up in front of a ton of people.  We’ll have about 90 which is a nice number for us.  I hope you don’t dwell too much on your disappointment–I’m sure that your guests, like ours, would have loved to be there if they could.  And hey, date twin!  We’re getting married in less than 4 weeks!  YAY!

Post # 6
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You and I share the same wedding date, and I have been feeling the same way. Seems like more people have declined than said yes.  However, in all actuality everyone who I really want to be there will be there for me so that is all that matters.  Plus, by not showing up some of the people are saving me money (on a positive note).  What was the R.S.V.P by Date you put on your invites?  Mine is May 15th as the deadline.  I also know that many of my family members won’t RSVP but will show up, bc that is just how they roll.  Stay positive!

Post # 8
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hi date twin! Every single person is coming to ours, at first we we actually wanted some ‘no’s’ but I guess people are willing to travel, even on a holiday weekend.  I didnt pick this weekend it was the only date my church had until July and we didnt want to wait so we chanced it.  FI’s family are flying in from Florida and I have people flying in from Germany and Oregon.  We sent our STD’s out 6 mths before and now we are way over our budget, we budgeted for 80 and now 100 are going.  

Some of the people that didnt rsvp are actually going, I had to make calls to make sure, dont just think because some people dont respond that they’re  not going, crazy but its how it works in some cases

Post # 9
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am bummed by the declines too. Way more people are declining than I thought would, so it’s sad. I keep doing the numbers in my head and we’ll probably end up with 150 if we’re lucky adn I was hoping for 180. Some people I thought were definites aren’t coming which is the worst.

Post # 10
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I was going to write almost the exact same post today.  Niether of us are from here but he has a bunch of friends from here.  All the people that I really wanted to come are from across the country and I got the last no from the one person that I really thought was coming and I was really looking forward to seeing.  I’ve been spending the last 12 hours trying not to cry.  I’m just super disappointed becuase I spent time and money to get to all these friends fweddings in the past, my parents were driving hours to go to their weddings, and they all make more than enough money to travel.  I’m feeling pretty unloved too.  It all pretty much knocked the wind out of my wedding sails.  I pretty much don’t care what needs to get done now which is really too bad cause there’s a lot that needs to get done.  But if my firends aren’t even going to bother coming, what’s really the point.

Post # 11
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

i am in your same situation!!! all my family is in florida but i now live in boston and Fiance is from boston.. sooo we invited about 200 people and we have only 90! booooo!!!! it sucks cause i always wanted a big wedding and now it is going to be small! UGH! no one from my family is coming, besides parents and sisters of course. the reason i guess is  becuase memorial day weekend and because my aunts daughter is getting married this june in NYC, and since family is originally from NY they have a place to stay for free, then boston! CHEAP FAMILY I HATE THIS AND I WAS THE FIRST ONE WHO GOT A DATE BEFORE SHE EVEN THOUGHT SHE COULD GET ENGAGED!!! anywho, i guess it is better in this way, less money to spend on the venue!

Post # 12
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh, and the bit about saving money on them,  I want to spend the money on them.  I bugetted for them.  The money for them is nothing compared to getting to see them and share a special day with them.  Instead,  i’m spending money on all the work people that I’m obligated to spend money on who I’ll never see again after I move from here in a month.

Post # 13
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

There have been some declines that I have been sad about – some family friends that I really wish would come and I am very surprised that aren’t coming. On the flip side, we have had several accepts that surprised me! So I am having a hard time accepting that we may still have over 200 (we invited 300) but it won’t be the 200+ I want. It’s tough!

Post # 14
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

I wouldn’t take it personally. You should have expected a lot of declines having the weddng on a holiday weekend since so many people travel then. People get so few vacations these days, so they are loathe to give them up, even for a wedding. I might be hesitant unless it was a friend or relative I was super close with.

Post # 15
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m in a similar situation and posted something almost identical last week.  Part of me is really disappointed that some are not able to make it (some reasons are better than others).  We invited over 135 people, planned for 80 (which we thought was going to be tight considering people who had indicated that they were coming early on) and will have around 60.  This makes our budget numbers much more feasible rather than being at the top end but I would rather have them here…. 

As far as distance, we are getting married near where my Fiance and I live, which is a destination for many of my friends and family were as his family is all within 5-6 hrs of our wedding. 

Post # 16
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I can see why you’d be feeling bummed. But honestly if I redid my wedding, I think I would aim for about 110. We are going to have upwards of 200 and now I see the value in a more intimate wedding like the one you will have. If your Fiance isn’t feeling sad, try not to worry about it. I know you’ll have an amazing wedding day!

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