Post # 17
I wouldn’t be able to deal with someone like the person you describe as worshipping the groung I walk on. He would have no backbone and how can a spouse help you to grow if he’s letting you win all the time?
My husband compliments me every single day, with or without makeup and has never once asked me to put on makeup. When I say “I’m all gross today, I haven’t even done my hair or makeup” he goes on to tell me just how beautiful he thinks I am and that I don’t “need that junk” Granted when I ask if a dress is too wrinkled or something I want his honest opinion but none the less I appreciate how loving he is.
But when he doesn’t agree, he doesn’t agree. We can discuss things and both have differing opinions and we try to find a compromise. But he in no way shape or form caves in his beliefs to “worship the ground I walk on”. I wouldn’t want him to. I want him to have a say in our choices and I tell him that often. I would never want him to feel like he can’t have an opinion that differs from mine.
Post # 18
My FH is the same way and I like that about him. He’s honest but doesn’t put me down or make me feel like crap doing it. I would hate to be in a relationship with someone who was constantly “Whatever you say/want. I have no opinions on anything at all as long as it’s what you want.” I’m not like that with FH, so why would I want FH to be like that?
FH’s asked me to dress up to go out a few times too, because he knows that I enjoy it and I get tired of being in scrubs and a ponytail all week long.
Honestly, it sounds like you have a good relationship. You and your cousin just don’t have the same taste in men.
Post # 19
@RunnerBride13: lol true, that was a bit much…I’m going to give him a bit of a free pass though because he was about 20 when that happened. I don’t see him doing that now. He will admit though, that all women (incuding me) look good with a little concealor.
Post # 20
I think my grandfather honest to god really does worship the ground my grandmother walks on. thing is, they are both 83 years old. have been married for 53 years. I know it wasn’t always this way, but after so many years I can see this is how he feels. Its cute. but, thats the only case I’ve ever seen of a man worshipping a woman
Post # 21
Your relationship sounds healthy. I’ve dated guys who give me all the “power” and it’s a pain in the ass. It’s weird but I feel like it makes the most sense when you put it in terms of BDSM – on the surface, most outsiders think the Dom(me) has all the power and has all the fun and many people don’t understand what’s in it for a sub, who is getting thwacked about and ordered around and such.
But as they say in spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility. A Dom(me) doesn’t only exert power, they also have to take care of their sub. That’s what’s in it for a less dominant partner – having someone to make decisions and take care of you and take that weight off your shoulders.
For some people, a perfectly even-handed relationship is right. But that’s not right for everyone. Someone like your cousin might want to be the dominant one, and that’s fine if she can find a man who wants to “submit” as it were.
You don’t seem to have the personality of someone who would be comfortable and healthy as the stronger-handed person in a relationship, so you have a boyfriend who treats you well (playful teasing included, it doesn’t sound like he’s being mean) and takes control for you. As long as you’re genuinely happy with him, and you feel he handles that “responsibility” well, there’s nothing wrong with that.
I don’t see anything amiss with getting dolled up for skype. I was in a long-distance relationship too, and it sounds like a nice thing to do for a long-distance partner… if he wants to see it, I don’t get what’s wrong with asking for it.
Post # 22
@pictureaccount: I have been with both types of man. I am marrying one more like your Boyfriend or Best Friend and I’ll tell you why.
My last boyfriend (before my FI) was a high school crush of mine. It was the stuff teen roma-coms are made of. He was the cousin of my high school bestie, we crushed on each other for years– he was always dating this horrible girl he hated but was too afraid to break up with her and I ended up dating someone seriously towards the end of HS. He was a musician– brooding and dark but CRAZY romantic. We went to college in the same town freshman year– away from our families but I stayed with my HS boyfriend too long and after freshman year, he moved back home. Finally senior year of college hit and after almost 2 years of not talking, we were both single and found each other. It was romantic, it was intense, it was the kind of love that exists only in The Notebook. I cant be more serious, the love between us was insane. Until things started to fall apart.
My sweetie was so so so romantic…but INSANELY possessive. He worshipped the ground I walk on– in high school he arguably had an addiction to porn but I never worried about him wacking off (sorry) to the thought of anyone but me. He would have died for me at any moment, and I think he probably still would. I’m perfect to him in every single way. He even told me that if I cheated on him, he would probably forgive me. But back to possessive. He hated “sharing” me with people– meaning we never went out. EVER. He would pick me up for a date and we would go back to his house, order take out, watch tv and have sex 4 or 5 times in a night (we were 20!) Whenever our friends were having a party, he would whine and say that he didnt want to see anyone, just me. He also hated me wearing ANYTHING remotely tight, low cut or with a high hem. He tried to ban leggings from my closet because “men can see the color of your skin and mentally apply that all over your bottom and know what you look like naked”. Direct quote. His STUPID friends once made up a story that while i was sitting in a hot tub (at maybe the 3 partiesd we went to in 2 years of being together) that i was “touching myself” and he comes over to me SEETHING because he thinks its true (it was NOT and his friend are/were idiots). Over and over he would ask me “do you love me? you dont love me, do you?” and it got to the point where i went mad. literally crazy. It was toxic– I would scream and yell and shake him trying to convince him how much I loved him. IN the end it drove me into the arms of my Fiance.
Fiance loves when I wear revealing things. He loves being the envy of all his friends and having them think I’m hot. (I never get too slutty either so that helps) He will NEVER tell me im fat or not cute, but he isnt deluded into thinking I’m absolutely falwless either….he just doesnt say it to my face. Its a much more comfortable, normal relationship.
Sorry this was so long. In short, your guy is normal, stick with him 🙂
Post # 23
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I think there’s someone out there for everyone. My Fiance actually does love me without makeup on and doesn’t point out any of my flaws (maybe because I am quite aware of them already). I don’t think he is a pushover, I think he loves me exactly the way that I am.
Post # 24
My Darling Husband tells me things like “you’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” but he certainly does not always agree with me! I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂
Post # 25
@pictureaccount: My lord that sounds straight out of a fairytale! No, my husband does not worship the ground I walk on whatsover. And to be honest? It would annoy me if he did. Yes I want him to support me, love me, care about me, do nice things for me, think I’m beautiful, but if he was fawning all over me all the time and waxing and waning sweed nothing’s in my ear I would want to barf.
It also seems that those that “worship” their partners, don’t seem to have a life separate from them, are very clingy, usually insecure, and a whole host of other unhealthy emotional things. I wouldn’t want this for myself.
Post # 26
@Bebealways: We are not into BDSM but that’s a great metaphor. I am definitely submissive in the bedroom though, so it certainly makes sense! I didn’t see the big issue with wanting me to wear makeup for a Skype call either- we were long distance and he hadnt’ seen me dolled up in months. In fact, when I speak to his male friends who have girlfriends, they normally wish their girlfriends took better care of themselves, but they know it would hurt the girls’ feelings and choose not to tell them because they don’t want to start a fight. My boyfriend tells me these things because he knows I’ll never take offense. I’d rather hear it from him than someone else.
Post # 27
I would not want a man who worships that ground I walk on if your definitions of that are correct.
When I ask a question, I want an honest opinion. When I am wrong I want him to disagree and not just blindly go along with what I am saying. To me it sounds like you have a great guy. Don’t listen to your cousin.
Post # 28
why would you want a man to worship you?! that’s a bit extreme and screams doormat to me. I like my partner to be just that – a partner and my equal. I’m willing to bet your cousin’s SO is not as happy in that relationship as she is.
Post # 29
Ugh, I hate women who tell other women to dump men just for wanting to see them dolled up one time. FFS he’s not asking you to be Miss fucking America 24/7. It’s not unnatural to want to see one’s partner dolled up every once in a while.
Expecting a partner to “worship the ground you walk on” is just asking for a resentful doormat. Imagine the outrage if the genders were reversed in your situation… and I’m usually not the type to say that.
I think people who do expect that type of thing are the crazy ones who have unrealistic ideas about relationships, and very unhealthy ones at that.
Post # 30
Fiance adores me, cherishes me, thinks I’m the greatest thing God has ever and will ever put on this earth. However, worships me? Not so much. I sort of understand why people might like the idea, but the connotations of worship are a bit much for a relationship dynamic. At least a healthy one.
Post # 31
@kittyfinn: That’s how I felt! Most men I know *say* that they prefer no makeup or can’t tell the difference, but they can. They may not care a lot, but my boyfriend admitted to me that he’s never once seen a woman who looked worse with a little bit of powder and concealor- he actually hates any obvious eye makeup or anything cakey, but he says there’s no way in hell anyone truly looks better with 0 makeup than a tiny bit of makeup. I’m sure there are some guys who disagree, somewhere in the world, but I haven’t met them.
OR, they think a girl with only a little bit of makeup isn’t wearing makeup- truthfully my SO can’t always tell.