(Closed) A mess-with thoughts..

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2309 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think I understand where you’re coming from. Change can be a very scary thing! If I were you I’d first ask myself if I want to get married and if this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. If so then you should evaluate if you’re ready now. There’s  nothing wrong with needing a little bit of time to figure things out.

You shouldn’t worry about everything else, when the time reaches everything with the inlaws and what not, would fall into place.

Goodluck with everything and welcome to the hive!

Post # 4
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee

I think I understand. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my SO and know that he is the one, but to be honest, the thought of an engagement right now is not all that exciting to me. I have NO desire to plan a wedding. It seems so stressful and everybody has opinions and everybody has dates that they need accomodated. I’ve told him countless times that I wish we could just elope and then throw a wonderful family barbecue with everyone when we return. The less stress, the better. Our wedding will be paid for by us, and therefore the only people we will be accomodating is ourselves. Don’t expect a lavish meal at the reception because the day is about our union and not filling everyone else’s bellies. I know that this is selfish, but neither  he and I can stomach spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a ceremony that is meant to just be about us and is only 15 minutes long. Very conflicting.

So, that being said. I’d love to be engaged, but everything after that just kind of makes me nervous and stressed out.

Post # 5
Member
43 posts
Newbee

I am looking forward to being engaged to my guy but the not the stresses of wedding planning etc. which is why we’re planning a small wedding 20 people max for next may.

Maybe think about what kind of wedding you really want if the prospect scares you.

Also, if you don’t feel ready yet, take it easy, give yourself and SO time. Communicate with each other… Is he pressuring you?

I have had panic moments since we started engagement process even though the Canadian is the love of my life.  Go figure!

 

Post # 7
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@chesseplease: It’s understandable. Marriage is a big step, and can change people. I’ve seen it as well, so I understand. My brother and sister have both been married twice, and my parents are struggling – despite 30 years. It scares me when I think about all the wrongs I’ve seen.

Still, I know my Fiance is the one. Despite my fears, I know it’s him I want to be with for the rest of my life. Despite him snoring next to you, you ask? Yes is my answer. haha.

He helps me put my fears aside. We talk about it every time something happens in my family and they come to me.

You’re allowed to worry, and to voice it. Just make sure fear isn’t holding you back in life and you’re totally fine. 🙂

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