Post # 1
I need some advice. My Maid/Matron of Honor is planning my bachelorette party and one of the girls invited said she is bringing her mom for the weekend. The bachelorette party is out of town so she said she’ll just room with her and that she’s "more like a sister than a mom". Um, I’ve met her mom once or twice and although she might be like a sister to her, she’s definitely a "mom" in my eyes. This guest to my party is one I don’t know all that well. She’s the wife of one of my fiance’s high school friends. It’s not that we’re planning a raunchy bachelorette party; it’s more that I am looking forward to a fun, wine-drinking, gaggle of my girlfriends in a weekend away together. My mom is fun too, and my aunts, etc, but I didn’t invite them on purpose. So, my question is, how the heck do I tell a girl she can’t bring her mom to my bachelorette party?
Post # 3
I would lie to her- Tell her that YOUR mom wanted to come but you don’t feel you can cut loose with YOUR mom around so you told YOUR mom she couldn’t come- that it was just the girls. Tell this woman that if HER mom comes and YOUR mom finds out, YOUR mom will be upset. Ask her to help you keep the peace with YOUR mom by asking HER mom not to come.
Then you don’t have to tell her how rude and presumptuous she’s being by inviting her mother. I mean aren’t bachelorettes kind of by invitation? If her mom’s not getting an invite she shouldn’t be coming.
Post # 4
Totally agree with rosychicklet! I would also ask those invited if someone would be willing to split a room with her so that the cost issue becomes moot.
Post # 5
Great advice Rosy! I don’t normally advocate lying, but this girl is way out of line and without creating drama, I think this is a very reasonable way to handle things. But for the record, she is being out of line. My mom asked if the bachelorette party was for moms too, and I told her not really, even though all my bridesmaids love her (clearly so do I), but I’m my mom’s only daughter and she didn’t know one way or the other, she didn’t get upset (and she’s very sensitive!) so maybe this girl just doesn’t know any better??
Post # 6
I think you can tell her that it’s not alright for guests to bring guests. Plain and simple rule of etiquette for most organised social events. This girl is rude- it’s just as rude as if she’d said she was bringing "a friend" to your bachelorette party. You have every right to want the people at the party to just be your close personal friends, and this girl’s mom is NOT your friend. Just put it that way.
PS- this girl is SO out of line!!
Post # 7
WOW!!! That’s….ballsy!! (pardon my language) Honestly..its your Maid/Matron of Honor, i would just tell her the truth.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
Tell your Maid/Matron of Honor to handle it. She can tell the guest the policies and save you from feeling like you’re being pushy.
Post # 9
When my Future Sister-In-Law got married a few years ago, her mom & Mother-In-Law came to the B-party.
We had to wait until the mom’s went home before we could cut loose (with our drinking & jokes). But as a guest, it was very awkward standing in the kitchen next to my boyfriend’s mother when the surprise stripper showed up and my FSILs started getting raunchy!
Post # 10
I would just say that you don’t feel like you can completely cut loose and enjoy yourself with her mom there. Personally, for my Bachelorette party, I do want my mom and my FI’s mom a part of it, so I am going to have a nice dinner with my BM’s and both mom’s the day before (I have to travel home for my bach party so they will both be there).
Post # 11
Definitely agree with cherry pie!