Post # 1
Now, by no means am I a bridezilla. However, I am super organized. A lot of guests have not sent an RSVP yet. And if they have they simply wrote “NAME AND GUEST.” Our wedding is being held at a venue where caterers need to travel, we need to purchase our own alcohol, we’re having a chocolate fountain and the size depends on the amount of guests, favors are being personalized and all of our rentals need to be finalized to ensure we have the correct amount of tables, chairs and linens. Now to the guests who have yet to reply, like the Best Man and to the guests who added “and guest” I am starting to contact to see if #1. they actually are being a guest and #2 What their guests names are. And apparently I rubbed the Best Man the wrong way and now he is not attending the wedding. After Fiance talked to him and cleared things up, I decided that I didn’t want any tension in the wedding party and explained why I had asked the Best Man if he was bringing a guest and even apologized if I offended or upset him. After apologizing the Best Man told me to count him out for everything.
But in short this is my fault. My fault for being a bride who wants to know how many people are going to attend the wedding so that I can assure there is enough food, alcohol, tables, chairs, linens etc. And a bride who wants to personalize favors so that every guest feels special and because I asked if they were bringing a guest… I’m now a bridezilla.
I don’t want to go on with the wedding because I know that my Fiance values his friends more than anything. I’m afraid if the wedding goes on without the best man Fiance will resent me later in life.
Where did I go wrong here?!
Post # 3
Umm.. If you think you’re fiancée is going to resent you for the rest of your life because his best man isn’t there at the wedding, then I think you really need to rethink your relationship. And if your fiancée values his friends more than anything, then again, you need to reevaluate your relationship. If you two are planning to get married, then YOU should be his number one priority, not some best man who’s making a mountain over a mole hill. Best of luck to you.
Post # 4
@dearmissie: I agree.
Your FH should always be putting you first not his friends. If he doesnt IMO hes not realy to be getting married, And also you are not in the wrong here by asking who his guest was. Maybe the way you asked him? I dont really know how he could be mad about that. Unless he cant find a date because hes such a jerk
Post # 5
Was there any way that the Best Man could have misinterpreted your apology? i.e. taken it like an “I’m sorry you screwed up, I had to clarify, and you got pissed”? Although your post is short and I know it’s not the whole story, it kind of sounds like that is the case. You did say that Fiance cleared things up, but then once you talked to Bridesmaid or Best Man he wanted out of everything, which is why it makes me think that you unintentionally made the situation worse.
I think the best path to take here would be to have your Fiance take the reins and figure out why exactly his best friend has his undies in a twist, and see if he can straighten it out. If your Fiance matters as much to the Best Man as Bridesmaid or Best Man matters to Fiance, then it ought to be a fixable situation. If Fiance frames it as “please do this because it’s important to ME (and has nothing to do with OctoberBee2)” and Bestie STILL wants to be a tool about it, I doubt Fiance would blame/resent you since ultimately Bridesmaid or Best Man would have rejected him directly. Make sense?