(Closed) A month to go and best man doesn’t want to come to the wedding. Help!

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Umm.. If you think you’re fiancée is going to resent you for the rest of your life because his best man isn’t there at the wedding, then I think you really need to rethink your relationship. And if your fiancée values his friends more than anything, then again, you need to reevaluate your relationship. If you two are planning to get married, then YOU should be his number one priority, not some best man who’s making a mountain over a mole hill. Best of luck to you.

Post # 4
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

View original reply
@dearmissie: I agree.

Your FH should always be putting you first not his friends. If he doesnt IMO hes not realy to be getting married, And also you are not in the wrong here by asking who his guest was. Maybe the way you asked him? I dont really know how he could be mad about that. Unless he cant find a date because hes such a jerk Wink

Post # 5
20 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

Was there any way that the Best Man could have misinterpreted your apology? i.e. taken it like an “I’m sorry you screwed up, I had to clarify, and you got pissed”? Although your post is short and I know it’s not the whole story, it kind of sounds like that is the case. You did say that Fiance cleared things up, but then once you talked to Bridesmaid or Best Man he wanted out of everything, which is why it makes me think that you unintentionally made the situation worse.

I think the best path to take here would be to have your Fiance take the reins and figure out why exactly his best friend has his undies in a twist, and see if he can straighten it out. If your Fiance matters as much to the Best Man as Bridesmaid or Best Man matters to Fiance, then it ought to be a fixable situation. If Fiance frames it as “please do this because it’s important to ME (and has nothing to do with OctoberBee2)” and Bestie STILL wants to be a tool about it, I doubt Fiance would blame/resent you since ultimately Bridesmaid or Best Man would have rejected him directly. Make sense?

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