Post # 1
So we’ve been married now 7 months. I’ve got the itch to move on to something new, like a new time plan. I’m 29 and he’s 35, and I personally don’t feel we have all the time in the world to keep pushing off trying for a family.
We make a decent income and are trying to recover and work on our savings. We are renting a condo in a trendy neighborhood, it’s 2 beds, 2.5 baths and a garage. Not ideal to include a baby but we could make it work. Dh had a foreclosure on his credit when he was young and dumb, but it’s been over 4 years ago. We’ve been encouraged to try to buy since then. But it’s still tough, who honestly wants to give a mortgage to someone who has a foreclosure on their credit? I pretty much was set on us continuing to rent for several years and starting a family in a rental home.
We checked recently into a new build construction, and of course they want to sell lots so they pre approved us to buy, it literally is more expensive than our current rental. Just that we would own the house, and of course, the house would be bigger and nicer.
We went to our credit union to see if theyd approve us for the same amount and it’s seeming like it’s going to be a no.
Meanwhile I’m stuck here, wondering if we pursue a house, and whatever owning a house may mean or continue renting and look toward starting a family. I don’t want to put starting a family off any longer, and definitely not be at the mercy of a mortgage company when we could rent just fine for the time being.
And then I just get home and feel depressed and im not sure which route to turn. I want to start a family..i want to save for a family, not save for a down payment on a house, just to get jerked around by the mortgage company, and continue delaying TTC.
Thoughts, bees? I know I’m rambling. I’m just so insure of where to turn next…and knowing TTC could take a year or more..
Post # 2
A “pre-approval” is not necessarily an approval. If the bank is saying no, I think that’s maybe a “sign” not to buy. Your condo sounds like it’s in a good neighborhood and big enough for a baby. I would probably go for the baby and the house will happen when the bank says it’s go time.
Good luck 🙂
Post # 3
TTC can be a long stressful process, as can buying a house. Doing both at the same time would be a lot and (if it happens quickly for you) cost a lot.
There is nothing wrong with starting a fam in rented accom, especially if your hus’ credit rating is still building up. If you are set on one or the other I’d say TTC now house when you get your credit rating up and have a grasp on what finances with a baby/ toddler are like.
If buying is going to be more of a financial strain on you, it could be a while before you guys are in a secure place to TTC.
Just my 2cents, but we started TTC right after moving into our new house. The morgtage works out cheaper than the rent, but we had to buy so much stuff and now I’m 2.5 weeks off my due date and baby stuff is hella expensive. I have to wait another month before my first maternity leave pay comes in and We’re dipping into savings atm.
Post # 4
Foreclosures fall off your credit report after 7 years so at this point I would just keep saving for your eventual down payment, but start TTC. You never know how long it will take to get pregnant, but even if you got pregnant immediately you’d be ready to move into a house by the time your baby was 2 (assuming you saved for a down payment and had good credit aside from the old foreclosure). Young kids and babies don’t need big new houses, plenty of families live in apartments or condos.
Also, new construction houses can be hella expensive. Even if the mortgage is the same as your rent, you have to buy window treatments, furniture, landscape, etc.
Post # 5
Daycare for 2 kids is more than our mortgage payment so kids aren’t the less expensive choice. It’s much harder to save rapidly once you have kids so if you don’t have a downpayment saved up before TTC, it will likely set your timeline to buy out several years if not longer.
There are online lenders that have more wiggle room to lend to riskier borrowers like your husband so that might be an option to pursue. I would make sure you can easily afford any mortgage payment plus anticipated childcare, etc expenses when determining your housing budget.
Post # 6
At your ages I wouldn’t put ttc off anymore. House will come when it comes but your window for successful natural conception decreases every year.
Post # 7
Yes, this is another thing I’ve thought. After crunching some numbers, the mortgage payments would be close to the same as our rental payment. I’m not sure that it would benefit us to put this much time and effort into that at the moment. We could always rent.
We could make it work with childcare and rental payments at the moment. I’m also in a career where my salary could increase, howver my DH is not. Nothing against it at all, but he is a teacher and not looking to move up elsewhere in the field. That’s what he loves doing, and where I live they pretty much have a set pay.
So yeah, there is is that, then I look at our ages, 29 and 35, and I think we need to start TTC above all. I know I have a few years still, but I dont want to put it off just to run into problems later on.
Post # 8
You don’t have to have a house to have a baby.
We are planning to TTC next year. We will still be renting our 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment. We like where we are. We like paying rent and having the luxery of never having to worry about paying to fix things that break. And we aren’t where we want to be to buy a house. But we are ready for a baby. We aren’t going to put off one because of the other when the reality is that it doesn’t matter which one you do first.
Post # 9
That is very nice to hear from someone else. I get on the boards and I think “I need to have a house before baby, but..” in reality that doesn’t always work.
It would be great if we could get approved for a house in the meanwhile, and have a lower mortgage payment,sure. My gut tells me that wont happen anytime soon.
I talked with DH tonight and said ultimately, I’d want to TTC above all. Instead of putting it off for a mortgage, that might not come anytime soon.
Meanwhile the bank could call tomorrow and say we got approved, so we’ll see! ha.
Post # 10
Keep in mind the banks will approve you for an amount of money that has nothing to do with your actual household budget. It’s important to run your own budget numbers and account for EVERYTHING kid and house related. Because you have to not only pay the mortgage, but property taxes, insurance, maybe HOA dues, electricity / water bills for a much larger space and yard, save for the inevitable home repairs, not to mention daycare / nanny and other kid expenses (food, clothes, gear, etc).
Don’t assume because the bank approves you that you can actually afford it. We were approved for almost 2X the mortgage we took out, but we knew we needed to buy a less expensive home because of future kids, lifestyle preferences (i.e., we like to travel a lot and also save vigorously for retirement, etc).
Post # 11
we did the same thing. We borrowed half of what we were offered because I want to become a sahm after we have a baby and that was how we can make that work
Post # 12
One of my closest friends is beginning the buying process for their home now, well two weeks ago, and her daughter will be three in March.
She’sbeen super stressed about the apartments she and her husband have been able to afford, and called a mutual friend freaking out about it. Our mutual friend and I talked her into finally looking and she found a townhouse that costs less than their apartment. The town house is in a desirable neighborhood, while their apartment is in a very bad area. They should also be at closing around the end of this month.
Had they started house hunting a couple years ago, before baby, they would have likely ended up going for more house than they could reasonably afford since she was put on bed rest before baby and works only part time now, or more house than they needed. They’ve since decided they are one and done with babies.
If credit is a major issue, which it will be till that forclosure is gone, there is no point to wait until after the house is bought. We get so caught up with marraige, house, babies in that order that anything else seems weird at times.