Post # 1
Alright well I still have a few months to decide, but I figure it’s better to start thinking about it now…
I did not take my husband’s last name when we married as I preferred to keep my own. He had absolutely no problem with this. But we did discuss how he would like our kids to still have his last name and I agreed that that was fine with me. That’s basically exactly what my parents did (Mom kept her name, both my brother and I have my dad’s last name) so it was something that felt familiar and I was comfortable with. I never felt any less attached or connected to my mom just because we had different last names.
Fast forward to now: I’m currently 6 months pregnant with our first child. So now that I’m pregnant I keep going back and forth on the idea of adding my last name in there somewhere in addition to my husband’s. The main last name would still be my husband’s, but I was thinking about possibly giving our son 2 middle names with the second one being my last name (I’ve never been a fan of hyphenated last names, so that’s off the table). My husband says the decision is completely up to me and will support whatever I decide. I guess my only issue is that I feel like that’s a lot of name to give one kid… We already have the first name and middle name picked out and we love them. So it’s not just like I want to dump that middle name and replace it with my last name. I definitely want to keep the original first and middle name there. But then my name and my husband’s names are both 3 syllables. So the name would end up being something like: Victor John Fredrickson Vanderbilt. Those aren’t any of the actual names, but the syllable count is the same. That’s just a mouthful!
I literally go back and forth on this every other day and my husband doesn’t care either way. So I’m just crowd sourcing here: what do you all think? Is that just too much name? Or should I just say who cares because, I mean really, how many times is he going to be saying his full name all at once? Chances are he’s just going to be called Victor Vanderbilt most of the time anyway! So does it really matter if his full official name is rather long?
Post # 2
llevinso : I think it’s too much name. I think you should do what your origally decided: kids have your husband’s last name. My opinion comes from the fact that I have a long last name and it’s annoying.
Post # 3
Too much name. If it’s important for you to have your name in there, then dump the selected middle name (maybe save it for a future second child?)
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
I do think it’s a bit much and can cause confusion. Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if people called him Victor F. simply because they thought Frederickson was a first last name (instead of second middle name).
Post # 5
I’m planning to do the same thing, actually! For us, the syllable count would be 2-4-3-2 for the four names (at least for our current favorite name). I say go for it. Like you said, they’ll probably hardly ever use the third name, unless they need to give their full legal name for passports etc; that’s the only place where it might get tricky, but long names are common in many cultures, and your kid won’t be the first to have to deal with it, so I’m sure you can prep him for those situations with some research.
Post # 6
I’d have to say it doesn’t really matter. I can’t remember a time in recent history when I’ve had to tell someone my whole name…middle names usually only show up on forms/documents (even then it’s often initialed). I think “Victor J.F Vanderbilt” doesn’t sound bad at all, either.
My only other thought is, if you have any more children would you also want them to have your last name somewhere? Like, do you think they’d feel “left out” or something if they don’t? No wrong answer there of course, that’s just something that I know I’d have to think about, personally.
Post # 7
Me and my siblings were all given our mom’s maiden name as our middle name instead of a “traditional” middle name. Could you do that instead? I personally think 4 names is a mouthfull.
Post # 8
kiram : If I give my last name to this child for a second middle name, I would do the same for any other children we may have.
Post # 9
If you like it, I say go for it. Middle names are rarely used and usually only in formal or legal settings. People have “junior” or “the third” attached to their names and we don’t think anything of it. He can always use initials in the future if he feels like it’s too much.
Post # 10
I think it’s a lot of name personally, but it’s really up to you. I kept my last name and our son has my husband’s last name. He said the second one could have my last name if I wanted, but I think that seems overly complicated. 🙂
Post # 11
Living abroad and having to fill out a lot of paperwork just to exist here, having such a long name would make that paperwork even more complicated. I have 14 letters total in first middle last name and even that feels a faff sometimes (and more names creates more opportunities for mistakes to be made by people copying down the names).
Post # 13
That’s what my name is. First name, Middle name, Second middle name/Mom’s last name, Last name/Dad’s last name. Plus my last name is pretty long, so yeah, overall my name is long… but I love it. To my knowledge its never really cause any confusion. Lot of cultures have long names/more than 3, so I don’t think its unusual. This is my plan for my own children as well!
Post # 14
Well…is it a last name that screams last name (like Fredrickson) or could it also be a first name (like Montgomery or Jefferson)? I think that would be part of my choice.
I don’t think it’s a problem on principle. You’ll probably have a lot of people confused early on, but by the time the child is in school, I doubt it’ll even be noticed.
But…since you want to give it to all your kids, you’re using it like a last name. Why not just make it one? I understand your dislike for hyphenated or dual last names, but that seems like a strange reason to kind of dance around it with a last/middle name.
Post # 15
larissakay : It is definitely a last name that would not be mistaken for a first name. Both my husband and I are against hyphenated last names. Those names you HAVE to include all the time because they’re tied together. If you have 2 middle names you basically get to pick if you use one, both, or none.