(Closed) A New Bee- How to bring up the e-ring?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I picked out my ring, Fiance doesn’t have very good taste in the fashion/jewelry department and I didn’t want a diamond so I let him know what ring to get.

I think you need to talk to each other about the ring and determine a budget, that is the best way to prevent falling in love with a ring that is unafforable.  Look at different styles.  Coloured stones, different metals, details, and find what you like best.

Post # 33
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@dreamer22:  I asked if we could go look at rings together (knowing an engagement and wedding were in our future and he is NOT the type of guy to suggest going ring shopping lol). I tried rings on first before really thinking about budget. I always had this dream ring in my head but when I actually tried it on, I didn’t like the way it looked on my finger. I actually didn’t love any other rings I tried on until this one particular one that I would never have thought I would love, let alone like. We keep our finances separate, but I know he is a saver by nature, has no debt and does well in stocks. I’m not saying I’m entitled to any of his money or I should be free to buy whatever I want but he was not concerned with the price of the setting, he really thought about how much he wanted to spend on the actual diamond. I left that up to him and he did well. 🙂 

If you are concerned with money, which I personally would be with that huge of a wedding (sounds really fun though!), maybe you don’t need to be engaged with your dream ring yet. Definitely ask him what he’s comfortable with though.

I love looking at #engagementring on Instagram, I love seeing different rings on people’s fingers. Or even looking at rings on these boards. You can see how it actually looks on a real hand. Then you definitely need to try them on because they look different on your hand. I suggest you find the style you like first then you can narrow your search based on budget.

Post # 34
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I picked out my ring. I went with a friend to a couple of jewelry stores and shopped around.  Before going, I asked Fiance what the budget was but he said their wasn’t one.  So, I picked out aobut 5 different rings, in a variety of sizes to give him different price points.  I told him that I’d be happy with whatever he gave me but here are some styles I like for ideas.  He ended up choosing one of the rings I picked! 

 

The ring is the man’s thing so I think you should do whatever your future husband wants. Mine was clueless and was happy to have me narrow down the selection.

 

Post # 35
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

I recommend you let him take the lead on it. You don’t know how involved he wants you to be and it is a gift from him to you, so it’s really his choice. (our choice as the recipients truly comes down to accepting it or not, though some proposers may choose to solicit a little or a lot of feedback along the way…but that’s up to them). Dictating any gift is not the way to go…  imagine if someone said to you that if they couldn’t dictate their birthday present from you, they would surely dislike it, and it meant you didn’t care enough about them!

It’s really good to be able to let go at times and let your future husband lead things that matter to you. The ring is just a small thing in the big picture, but it’s very meaningful and sets the tone for that. It’s a great feeling for both of you when he presents a ring that he took the lead on making happen. That feeling will be reignited every time either of you glance at the ring, for the rest of your lives.

As a bonus, you will never doubt your ring, the way people tend to doubt their own decisions, because it’s the one he decided on, so it will always represent his unique way of expressing his love for you, not just “the ring that caught my eye in the summer of ’13”. I’ve noticed on the boards that those who have changed, changed, and changed their ring again, and never feel satisfied with it, often are those who decided that they should choose their own engagement ring. Because the ring’s appearance doesn’t hold a deep meaning to them, it was just something they picked, like a handbag that caught their eye. Taste changes, but meaning doesn’t. It’s like how you may weary of the artwork in your house, but never the photo of your grandparents, and you don’t judge that photo by “is what they are wearing in that photo representative of my taste at the moment?” …you just don’t care very much about superficial details about something as meaningful as that. The photo is perfect always, because it’s a true reflection of your grandparents at a moment in time. The ring your fiance decides on for you will be perfect because it’s a true reflection of him at the moment he wanted to propose to you.

You can buy yourself a ring anytime, but this is his gift to you.

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