Post # 1
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
Hey ladies, I really need your advice. let me first start by saying that we are already married and have been for a year now, and we were engaged for a year and a half before the wedding. My husband proposed with my promise ring, which we picked out together and is THE most precious thing to me that I own. we also got married with that ring and picked out a wrap/guard/enhancer to go with it as the band, which we got on credit in my name. which has sparked MANY arguments over the due date of the bill and it not getting paid on time.. His thought is since its in my name I should be responsible for handling the payments (we are joint checking so that doesn’t mean I’m the only one paying its just the act of doing so) anyways, I from the start have never wanted a real diamond because well, I just don’t care CZ or not and I’d like what i wear to be as ethical as possible. we are at the point now where we just can’t keep dealing with the bill of the wrap and it is damaging my poor (very thin) promise ring. He knows how desperately I want a new set and to make my promise ring a right hand ring so we are in agreement to sell the wrap. I found the best CZ hand set in sterling silver for only $39 and showed him and everything well now, he can’t be bothered with it.. He has never looked for rings for me, we have always gone together so since we are already married do I just go ahead and buy it or should that be his thing?? we are pretty mutual in the relationship but I thought that maybe he’d like to do this on the second go around.. I don’t want to demasculinate him but at the same time I’d like a romantic gesture. Advice please!!!!
Post # 3
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
@Lo1Lo28: it’s less than 50 bucks, I say buy it! men dont care about rings like we do, so he probably just doesn’t realize it’s a big deal to you. I’m not sure what advice to give, if he doesn’t want to be involved you can’t really force him other than maybe ask for a new ring for Christmas and give him some choices and explain you dont want to damage your promise ring anymore
Post # 4
Member
5507 posts
Bee Keeper
@Lo1Lo28: id get it out of your joint account, bring it home, and give it to him to durprise you with when he wants 🙂
Post # 5
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
Thank you for the advice! I should order it and not feel guilty, and @prettyinpink11, you are right, they certainly don’t care about rings like we do!!
Post # 6
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site
It’s 40 bucks, just buy it. 😀 If it was 4000, then yea, maybe, but not 40 bucks. I don’t think, especially now that your married and have joint accounts, that he should be responsible for paying for it.
Post # 7
Member
3101 posts
Sugar bee
@Lo1Lo28: I would just go ahead and buy it. You should love your ring–it’s on your finger, not his. Guys aren’t into jewelery. Period.
Post # 8
Member
11287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@Lo1Lo28: if it’s $40, $400 or even $4000. if you like it, and you have the money for it, buy it for yourself.
Post # 9
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
I agree with the others…for $40.00 buy it. Do you have pics of all the rings? Just me being curious..:)
Post # 10
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
Thank you everyone for your responses! I started the convo with him today of how much I want a new ring and re-showing him the one I found, then out of curiosity asked what HE would have picked if he looked on his own and he told me that he likes the look of the 3 stone rings so we found one together and will be ordering it tomorrow! 🙂 I will post pictures when I get it but here are the pictures from the website! Thanks again everyone! I got such a great response for my first posting, hoping I’ll be able to do the same!
Post # 11
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
Maybe I needed to tag you guys in my last post to see my reply, sorry still new to this!! … @mypinkshoes, @wrkbrk, @purple_bride, @prettyinpink11, @ceebree @megan331979
Post # 12
Member
1841 posts
Buzzing bee
@Lo1Lo28: Saw your post right after you posted it, but refrained from commenting because I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I’m super-sentimental about the material “things” associated with my upcoming marriage; BUT, I can see your point as well.
I am happy to hear that the discussion with your DH went well, and that you together decided to order something that pleased you both.
So, now I’m stalking this post to see your new bling IRL!
Post # 13
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Silver and CZ for $39… it won’t last very long. You’ll be in this same situation a year or two down the road.
Before you do anything, I’d get the wrap paid off (if it isn’t already).
Post # 14
Member
1771 posts
Buzzing bee
@canarydiamond: +1
@Lo1Lo28: : OP have you considered moissanite? It is a simulant too but it will last forever (if the literature is to be believed) unlike cz which will look worn and cloudy. The down side of moissanite is that it’s more expensive than cz and not as white. However, lots of bee’s have moissanite here and love them.
Here is a link to some inexpensive moissy rings starting at $89, as I said you’ll pay a bit more now but won’t have to rebuy again next year. Thus in the long run you will save money:
http://www.jtv.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-jtv-Site/default/Search-Show?q=moissanite%20ring&srule=pricel&showProducts=1
Post # 15
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
@mrs Canuck – I’ll be sure to post as soon as I get it! And I agree with you about the sentimental value if things ESPECIALLY my rings! We just have no positive attachment to the wrap or ring from his mother ( he didn’t want to accept it in the first place because it reminds him of his parents divorce which is a very sore subject still) but we did and found the wrap to show we were gracious and let obligation get the best of us rather than following our gut feelings on the subject. I haven’t worn set set in months! And we decided to make her diamond into a pendant to give to our first daughter as a sweet 16 or graduation gift and make it a family heirloom rather than a symbol of marriage considering the circumstances.
@gemgirl6 – thank you for the link! we did consider moissanite but chose this particular shop because I like the idea of someone handcrafting them better than just ordering off a website.
@canarydiamond – I agree with your worries! I do not want to have to re-order every year!
However, I feel pretty confident in the product I found, I guess I should have clarified earlier but this ring is coming from Tradecraft on Etsy. the stones are Swarovski stimulants that she then places in sterling silver settings. The owner of the store Kara and I have been messaging back and forth and I also like what I read while researching about Swarovski. I then searched on here and a few other ladies have them as well and are very pleasencore while experience so far makes me feel decently comfortable ordering from her. I’ll be sure to let you all know how it goes and update if they really do last, because I’m just as curious about it!!
Post # 16
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
I had a Swarovski crystal ring from Macy’s that I wound up returning because the stones completely clouded up after I washed my hands with the ring on. (I was in a hurry and forgot to take it off). Hopefully it was just a flaw with my particular ring and nothing like that happens to yours. This was a couple of years ago so hopefully they are better now.
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