- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2018
I’ve been mulling this over the last few days and I just can’t seem to let it go. It’s long so if you read it thank you.
I went on a weekend vacation for our friends birthday and he invited some other friends too and I’m left with a bitter taste in my mouth. To avoid confusion we’ll call these couples Jack and Jill, Bob and Betty and our friend (the birthday boy) Alex.
I have met Bob and Betty before, once. It happened to be the first time Alex (who I’ve know for a long time) met them too, less than a month ago. Bob is happy-go-lucky and a bit of a “lad”. Betty seemed sweet enough but it was clear she was “off” that day. She made a comment about my age (I’m 22 and the rest of our friends are 30-40) but didn’t make the connection until the vacation. So the day we met, Bob and Betty decided we should all go clubbing (we had planned on going to a particular bar but they decided they didn’t like it there), the rest of our group weren’t really up for it but went along with the idea anyway so I wasn’t really impressed with their selfishness. Betty, after being “down” all evening seemed happy (I guess she’s used to getting her own way?)
So now the vacation. Alex, SO and I arrive a day before the rest of the gang. When they arrive Betty seems to scowl, but I don’t know her. I try to make polite conversation but no luck, she quickly goes and finds someone else to talk to. She makes excuses not to talk to me the entire weekend. I meet Jack and Jill for the first time both seem friendly enough. And Jack especially is interested in getting to know everyone (SO knows him so that’s good).
Over the course of the first day Betty makes sly comments about my age. Just things like “when I was your age” and “yeah, but you’re only 22” again, didn’t really think much of it. We leave early the first night because SO has come down with something.
Day 2 and it seems now Jill doesn’t want to be there and wanders off somewhere when it’s just Jack, Jill, SO and I. The rest arrive and I realised Jill and Betty have buddied up, in jokes and stuff from the night before.
So this is when the dots join together: the boys have gone swimming (beach) and it’s just us girls on the shore: Betty and Jill ignore me completely not even acknowledging my “hellos” and “how are yous” I go and sit out of the way because I feel like the spare wheel. I’m just relaxing on the sand and I overhear part of their conversation:
Betty: “She’s only 23…”
Jill: “I think she’s 22…”
Betty: “Oh 22 *haha*, but why does she … I wouldn’t until I was at least 25 …”
Then they start sniggering. I have no idea what the said, because I wasn’t really listening and didn’t want to listen but I’m 80% sure it was about me.
Now Jill is ignoring me and Betty starts playing “mom” – I am seriously pissed off at this point. I tell SO and he shrugs, thinks I’m imagining things. I agreed because I didn’t know what they were talking about and maybe I misheard them anyway.
Later that day we all go to dinner. Again my age becomes an issue. Bob and Betty start talking in detail about their sex life over dinner and Betty says “well I can only have sex once a day because I’m not 22 anymore” she looks at me and winks. Then she calls me “kiddo”. And no, it wasn’t endearing no matter how you look at it.
SO and I excused ourselves early, not because I wanted to leave but because I was hurt and offended by her patronising comment. SO thinks I’m being overly sensitive and I burst into tears. I don’t feel she has a right to treat me like that. Especially when every conversation she entertains with me pertains to my age.
FWIW my age has never been an issue, and it doesn’t bother us. Sometimes SO will get a high five, or someone will say “cradle snatcher” and that’s the end of it. I was feeling especially sensitive over the weekend for reasons I needn’t go into. And I admit that Betty’s flirtatious nature made me concerned for Alex who’s wife left him recently. (She had a tendency to touch him in what I think most people would consider inappropriately but he wasn’t complaining TBH!)
Anyway, I know this is a long rant but it’s for me more than anyone. Just need to let it out there, get it off my chest.