Post # 16
Thank you for everyone’s replys! While I definitely like the idea of people making the choice to come or not based on whether there is a way for them to find child care or not, my fiancé has a really small family so by this family not coming, he would have even less people there compared to me than he already does. While I don’t want his cousin to not come, I do want them to know that the plan is kids free so they at least try to figure out childcare. I have never met them since they live in a different Provence so it would be on him to convey this and he seems a little wishy washy, like maybe he feels awkward or something explaining this to them. And for everyone who lives here, I would think it’s easy enough to arrange childcare, especially having over a year to do so. All my cousins significant others parents live here so I’m sure they will be the ones watching the kids for this day. I just feel bad for my fiancé’s family who don’t live near family and I’m not sure how comfortable they would be leaving their kids with friends or bringing them and having a stranger watch them. I would probably just have to stress to everyone else that the only reason they are there is cause there was no options for childcare? But then I feel kind of crappy cause some of my cousins kids I would love to heave there as I see them all the time and love them but these two sort of random kids that I don’t know and my fiancé has only met a handful of times will be there. Ugh sorry for the rant lol. I don’t know why I am already stressing about this but I am :/
Post # 17
Since you’ve already spoken to your family about it, I don’t see why it would become an issue. I would try speaking to the fiancé’s cousin since they do have a year in advance to get child care. They might have a family friend that they trust and would love to help watch the children overnight so they can go to the wedding. They could possibly even let their kids join in with your side of the family and help share the cost of the babysitter. One option that was considered at a relative’s wedding was to rent out a room at the nearby hotel for all the kids to be watched there. There are a lot of options that can be explored since they have a lot of time before the wedding. If all options don’t seem to work then it comes down to if you are ok with them breaking the “no kids” rule. It is your wedding and you decide what happens. If your family focuses more on someone bringing their baby, then they aren’t focusing on the real reason they are there and their “parents” night out.
Post # 18
Personally, I wouldn’t make the exception, for the reason you mention.
Just as your local family has a year to figure something out, if you really want them there, so do you. You can ask around to find a babysitter, hire a nanny service, or see if any of your relatives might be willing to share a sitter. You can bring a sitter to the venue and have them stay in a nearby space if that makes the parents more comfortable, or go to wherever they are staying. The parents can trade off, bring a sitter or decide not to attend. We had several weddings that only one of us attended or we skipped for this reason. When you have young children it goes with the territory.
As for your fiance, he can call to give them a heads up and see if they are interested in you exploring sitter options. That’s putting it more graciously than just calling to say “no kids.” If they say no thanks or come up with another option then you don’t have to bother.
Hopefully it will be business as usual by then, but no one really knows. Things would have to turn around pretty dramatically for me to get on a plane ( if they have to) or attend a traditional event out of town.