(Closed) A not-so-hypothetical. What would you do?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would say what the other girls are saying here and go with your gut OR have a single friend stay with you that weekend.

Either way…alone with this guys doesnt seem like a good idea.

Post # 18
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Honestly I wouldn’t be okay with it. Even if he was 100% joking, I think it’s inappropriate for you to be alone like that with any guy. If I were you, I would make one of my girlfriends spend the night, preferably a single one he could possibly be interested in. That way your friend doesn’t get put out for having a place to stay adn you have a ‘buffer’ making the situation more appropriate and preventing any real moves he could potentially make on you.

Post # 20
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I guess it depends how good a friend he is. One of my best guy friends was VERY into me. With my first boyfriend, told me he wished i was with him, not my boyfriend. Still had a thing for me when i started dating my husband. Even so, I wouldn’t mind if he stayed over. Even if he had a crush on me, i know he’d never act on it, and he always knew my heart was with someone else. This never bothered my husband, by the way. He never cared that my friend was SUPER into me and wanted to date me before.

I think having a mini party is a good idea. If you are uncomfortable with it, nothing we say will change that. You know your friend.

Ok if party is not a good idea, just do your normal thing. Maybe your friend will spend time on the computer. Just keep it ultra platonic. Clean house or something

Post # 21
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

YOu don’t need a mutual friend, just invite any girlfriend over!

Just curious, what are you doing online?

Post # 23
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think that, if it makes you uncomfortable, you should make arrangements to ensure that the two of you aren’t alone together.

There’s no reason why you have to saty in, right?  Round up some of your girlfriends, including at least one that you “think he’ll really like *winkwink*” and head to a movie, bar, dinner, etc.

Nothing puts a damper on a dude’s romatic imaginings like having the object of his desire try to set him up with someone else.

Post # 24
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m going to guess you met playing WoW or something like that. I know two people happily married from meeting there!

I think I would be okay with the overnight part (since you’ll be sleeping in different areas), I would be more worried about having to entertain him for hours before that. I think you should invite a friend or two over because that just seems awkward. I am surprsied your Fi is okay with it, mine definitely would not be.

Post # 26
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Quietserenity

Not at all! Been there done that, bad mistake! Hah! I have a few good friends from when I played (I’ve been sober for nearly two years now… quit after I got tired of farming Naxx for the second time haha).

Post # 27
Member
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@Quietserenity: I think if it’s going to be impossible to invite someone else over, then you guys need to not spend a ton of time together at home alone. Try to go out for the evening, and then when you get back, maybe he can hang in front of the TV or on a computer or something, and you can separate yourself into you and your FI’s bedroom with a book.

Post # 28
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I know I’m old-fashioned when it comes to these things, so I say have him make other arrangements. I’m surprised that your Fiance is okay with him staying the night considering he’s expressed feelings for you. If he absolutely has to stay with you, though, then I agree with @gemstone. Also, I would say that if your gut reaction says it’s a bad idea, then it’s probably a bad idea.

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