Post # 17
Invite her as planned, do the invisible ink thing on the back, and then gush over facebook how excited you are that she’ll be able to make it. That way, her plan will be stopped without making it seem like you are purposefully trying to stop her, but you can all still have a good time.
Post # 18
I would be telling everyone and their brother that K is coming to the wedding. And, I’d start with an announcement on FB!
Post # 19
i think its crafty and innapropriate, but having said all that, no matter what she does (even if she shows up in a clown outfit) you are going to be the star of the day and i dont think she will steal attention. All of your guests/friends are there for you, not her
Post # 20
UPDATE: K has decided to come into the country for my wedding (and not as a surprise)! I’m excited to see her but a little bummed that her incentive for coming back home isn’t to celebrate our marriage with us… I only found out she was coming to our wedding from my fb feed, when she posted on her two BFFs’ fb walls that she couldn’t wait to see them. A couple of days later she posted on my wall to give me a heads up to save her a seat… She hasn’t said anything about the wedding to me since but is constantly contacting the other two girls about the “epicness” of their reunion.
I’m happy that she’s going to see her BFFs again after ~1 year apart, but if all she was interested in was seeing them again why is she coming to the wedding?? :/
Sorry, I know I’m being a bitch. I’m just irritated. I know this isn’t all about me or my Fiance, but is it too much to ask to for K to at least PRETEND that she’s happy to see us get married and isn’t just there for a massive reunion?
Post # 21
Quick question (and I haven’t read thru): But why are you inviting her?
Post # 22
Honestly, now that it’s not a climactic surprise and everyone knows she is coming, I don’t think it’s a big deal. My group of friends, and my fiance’s as well, is so spread out that every wedding is an exciting chance to see friends again. It’s just the way it is that guests are always at least as excited to hang out with friends they rarely see as they are to see the couple getting married.
I do think it would be rude if she staged some grand appearance which made it all about her coming back to visit (or pushed you into inviting her when you wouldn’t have already), but just because she’s super psyched to see some close friends for the first time in a year doesn’t mean she’s not excited for your wedding.
Post # 23
@heather25: At one point we were very close and we lived together for a short period of time. We’ve had our ups and downs but I still consider her a friend.. just not a close one anymore (unfortunately). She moved out of the country for work right around the time I made the guest list and sent out the Save-The-Date Cards. I sent her one with the hopes that we would stay in touch while she was abroad but that’s never happened, despite my efforts. I didn’t expect her to try to come in for the wedding. I’m happy that she’s coming but sad that her reunion with her two closer friends is the reason why she will be there.
Post # 24
Based on your last post alone, I do think your over-reacting a bit. She is coming in town because its your wedding AND to see her friends. If she didn’t care about your wedding she wouldn’t come.
Post # 25
@meladoug: lol just tell her the guestlist is closed? Did you send her an invite or did she invite herself? Can you swing another guest? I dont think she is trying to steal the show.. but she perhaps really misses her friends….that and your wedding are not related at all.. Maybe you should stop comparing them?
Post # 26
Definitely a red flag. It seems like what is more important to her is her entrance, rather than witnessing your marriage. If she truly wanted to attend to be there for you and your Fiance and your friends, she wouldn’t be making a big surprise. I think she is craving some attention and has your day in mind to bring it to her.
Maybe you can softly let her know that you “accidentally” (so Fiance doesn’t get in trouble) found out that she was thinking of coming?
Post # 27
@Entangled: You’re right. I’m just bummed, especially after one of BFFs (one of my BMs) confirmed to me that K is looking forward to the wedding as her big coming home party since all of our college friends will be there. Actually KNOWING that what I had suspected is the case makes me really sad.
Post # 28
She may not have bad intentions but I still wouldn’t be willing to lie to my guests about who she was and then have the surprise.
Post # 29
At first I didn’t agree with your friend coming in as a surprise on your wedding day and trying to be the center of attention. Now that she is coming and everyone knows I don’t see it as that bad.
As an example: I have a friend from college that I haven’t seen in a long time and is getting married soon. I am obviously there to support my friend and see her get married, but also know that I won’t get to see her much since she’ll be busy talking to other guests. I have to admit that I did base going to this wedding or not depending on my other friends from college attending as well b/c I don’t know any of the bride’s other guests. Also I will need to travel long distance and pay for lodging for the weekend. As a bride you hope the people you invite are coming to support you on your big day, but that doesn’t also mean that some guests may also come to see and reconnect with other friends and celebrate. I think in the end you guys will all have fun celebrating on your big day and you’ll forget about her motive! If not at least you’ll hopefully get an awesome wedding gift from her lol!
Post # 30
Wow. I’d be pissed. I’ve come from abroad to my friends’ weddings. Yes I wanted to see other friends there, not only the bride and groom but I would never even think of having a surprize entrence. Lamo
Post # 31
Can she surprise them at your rehearsal dinner and not at your wedding?
Seems lame that she would even want to do that during your wedding.