(Closed) I can’t decide if this is an attempt to steal the show or not…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should a guest be allowed to stage a "surprise" appearance at the wedding?
    No way : (104 votes)
    94 %
    Sure! : (7 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 17
    3788 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Invite her as planned, do the invisible ink thing on the back, and then gush over facebook how excited you are that she’ll be able to make it. That way, her plan will be stopped without making it seem like you are purposefully trying to stop her, but you can all still have a good time.

    Post # 18
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would be telling everyone and their brother that K is coming to the wedding.  And, I’d start with an announcement on FB! 

    Post # 19
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    i think its crafty and innapropriate, but having said all that, no matter what she does (even if she shows up in a clown outfit) you are going to be the star of the day and i dont think she will steal attention. All of your guests/friends are there for you, not her

    Post # 21
    1963 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Quick question (and I haven’t read thru): But why are you inviting her?

    Post # 22
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Honestly, now that it’s not a climactic surprise and everyone knows she is coming, I don’t think it’s a big deal.  My group of friends, and my fiance’s as well, is so spread out that every wedding is an exciting chance to see friends again.  It’s just the way it is that guests are always at least as excited to hang out with friends they rarely see as they are to see the couple getting married.

    I do think it would be rude if she staged some grand appearance which made it all about her coming back to visit (or pushed you into inviting her when you wouldn’t have already), but just because she’s super psyched to see some close friends for the first time in a year doesn’t mean she’s not excited for your wedding.

    Post # 24
    5283 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Based on your last post alone, I do think your over-reacting a bit. She is coming in town because its your wedding AND to see her friends. If she didn’t care about your wedding she wouldn’t come.

    Post # 25
    671 posts
    Busy bee

    @meladoug: lol just tell her the guestlist is closed? Did you send her an invite or did she invite herself? Can you swing another guest? I dont think she is trying to steal the show.. but she perhaps really misses her friends….that and your wedding are not related at all.. Maybe you should stop comparing them?

    Post # 26
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Definitely a red flag. It seems like what is more important to her is her entrance, rather than witnessing your marriage. If she truly wanted to attend to be there for you and your Fiance and your friends, she wouldn’t be making a big surprise. I think she is craving some attention and has your day in mind to bring it to her.

    Maybe you can softly let her know that you “accidentally” (so Fiance doesn’t get in trouble) found out that she was thinking of coming?

    Post # 28
    39 posts
    • Wedding: August 2011

    She may not have bad intentions but I still wouldn’t be willing to lie to my guests about who she was and then have the surprise.


    Post # 29
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    At first I didn’t agree with your friend coming in as a surprise on your wedding day and trying to be the center of attention. Now that she is coming and everyone knows I don’t see it as that bad.

    As an example: I have a friend from college that I haven’t seen in a long time and is getting married soon. I am obviously there to support my friend and see her get married, but also know that I won’t get to see her much since she’ll be busy talking to other guests. I have to admit that I did base going to this wedding or not depending on my other friends from college attending as well b/c I don’t know any of the bride’s other guests. Also I will need to travel long distance and pay for lodging for the weekend. As a bride you hope the people you invite are coming to support you on your big day, but that doesn’t also mean that some guests may also come to see and reconnect with other friends and celebrate. I think in the end you guys will all have fun celebrating on your big day and you’ll forget about her motive! If not at least you’ll hopefully get an awesome wedding gift from her lol!

    Post # 30
    4769 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Wow.  I’d be pissed.  I’ve come from abroad to my friends’ weddings.  Yes I wanted to see other friends there, not only the bride and groom but I would never even think of having a surprize entrence. Lamo

    Post # 31
    2906 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Can she surprise them at your rehearsal dinner and not at your wedding?


    Seems lame that she would even want to do that during your wedding.

    The topic ‘I can’t decide if this is an attempt to steal the show or not…’ is closed to new replies.

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