(Closed) A post wedding party?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would just decline the invitation.  It isn’t really ‘hosting’ a party if you’re not actually HOSTING anything like refreshments.  I’m not going to anyone’s wedding, party, celebration, whatever and have to PURCHASE food & drinks.  No way, no how.

Post # 4
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@pigglesworth:  What does your friend think the purpose of this party is?!

I would decline, for obvious reason’s you’re going to be busy with your own wedding at that time!

Post # 5
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@pigglesworth:  That’s tricky. Did you invite her to your wedding?  How good of friends are you?  I probably wouldn’t mention the food thing-  she and her husband may not have any money for that (although I agree it would be nice!).  I don’t think you can straight out ask her to change the date of the party she is planning- they may have been planning it for a while and who knows how many people they have already passed the details to- but I think you can definintely say something like ‘i’d love to go but I have my rehearsal dinner that night so probably can’t make it’…she may have forgot your wedding is the next day and may offer to change the weekend!  I think it really depends on how good of friends you are-  if you are super close talking to her about it will be easier and she may want to change the date to accomodate you.  If a lot of planning has gone into it it may not be possible.

But I don’t think I would mention the food thing.  Maybe some friends could pitch in to provide a few appetizers in celebration! 


If you aren’t that great of friends I would probably respectfully decline-

Post # 6
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

The night before your wedding, I would respectfully decline regardless of whether there would be food and drinks provided. In my experience, helping friends prepare for their own weddings, you do NOT have free time the night before.

Post # 8
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That’s pretty crappy, scheduling her gift grab the day before your wedding. I hope she comes to her senses.

Post # 9
3230 posts
Sugar bee

Just decline the invitation. I think she’s being rude anyway and gift grabby. You’re much too busy to go to her little “party.”

Post # 10
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, I would just decline.

Post # 11
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly besides you and the wedding party, I don’t think it matters that it is the day before your wedding.  A guest would be able to easily attend both events.

It is not polite to point out others’ faux pas.  Though I do agree with you that it is very off putting to have a second reception where no food or drink is provided.  It really screams “Gimme gifts”. 

Just decline the invite.

Post # 12
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You should just decline the invite.  I woulnd’t bring up the food thing unless she asks for your advice or opinion. 

Post # 13
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Just decline. Sounds a little gift grabby, not to mention tacky.


Post # 14
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza

@DaneLady:  +1

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