(Closed) A question for the working moms!

posted 9 years ago in Babies
  • poll: How do you do it?

    I am a stay at home mom (or husband is a stay at home dad)

    One of us works from home

    I pay for daycare, babysitters, and run around like a crazy person

    I don't have kids, but wonder the same thing

    The grandparents take care of the little critters when we work

    Other! (and explain please!)

    Stop worrying. It all works out.

  • Post # 17
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Well I’m a stay at home mom. I don’t have a higher education, as I was a bartender, and worked at a coffee shop before my maternity leave. I did however go back, for the weekends, and my fiance watched our son. This gave me the opportunity to have a life outside of motherhood, and have extra play money. I don’t do that anymore however, and am loving that too.

    My friend just had her second son last December, and she is back working full time already. She was offered a job at her old work, with a 9 dollar raise. Her mom takes care of the two kids for free, and she is able to work, bring home money, and not pay for a babysitter. Works pretty good for her.

    I wouldn’t worry about it until the time comes, your priorities will just kind of naturally fall into place.

    Post # 18
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2009


    We have a full time nanny for our 7 month old daughter.  The nanny arrives at 9am and leaves at 6:30pm.  I work from about 8-6 and my husband is 9:30 to all hours in the evening, so he is there to do the hand off in the morning, and I get the evening.  In NYC, nannies are a very popular option.  It’s hugely convenient to have the nanny come to our apartment instead of having to drop off/pick up and pack the baby’s things each day if we went the daycare route.  But that said, it is expensive and we are very dependent on just one person.  So far, our nanny has only taken 3 vacation days and either my husband and I have taken those days off to stay at home (we give our nanny 10 paid vacation days in one year as long as she lets us know 2 weeks in advance).  We haven’t had to deal with any sick days, but in that event, one of us would probably have to take a last minute Sick or Personal day as well.  Finding and hiring the nanny was one of the most emotionally and logistically stressful situations I’ve dealt with in motherhood so far, so I am a little terrified if or when our current situation would have to change.   

    I’ve been back at work for a little over 4 months at this point and this set up has worked out really well for us.   It was a big adjustment at first but we’ve all fallen into a comfortable groove and so far, so good.  As much as I love my kid and being a mom, I felt like I had to go back to work for the sake of my sanity and to get out of the house for awhile.  Being at home all day long with a baby is hard.  I’m not as super career-driven as I was a few years ago but they take care of me and pay me well.  I know that I would not be able to be able to have this job if I took a few years off, so I feel compelled to continue with it for as long as it makes sense.    My daughter adores her nanny and is always happy to see her when she arrives.  I was worried that this would mean she would prefer the nanny over my husband or me but luckily that hasn’t been the case.  She is always excited when I get home at the end of the day and loves being with us on the weekends.  I know the attachment issues are bound to get a little more complicated as she gets older, but this is the part where I just have to tell myself “Stop worrying.  It all works out.”   

    Post # 19
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    We have a mix of three of the above scenarios:

    My mom works part time and watches our son two days a week. A nanny watches my son two other days of the week, but I knock off work early (2pm).  I work from home the fifth day and have the nanny come for a couple hours so I can actually “work”, but at least I am home and get to spend the majority of the day with him. I’m very fortunate because I have a job that will accomodate my telecommuting and flex schedule.

    Post # 20
    3586 posts
    Sugar bee

    Sadly, my mom isn’t old enough to be retired to take care of our baby (and she lives an hour away!) so I’ll be taking baby to daycare where I teach Ga Pre-K.

     I’ve already finished my education up to a Master’s degree and silly me, will be starting another in December…when baby is 3 months old!LOL I think I can handle it because I’ve been teaching for years and know the routine. I hate to take my baby to daycare, but at least when I go to lunch or after school, I can step to the baby room to see baby. 🙂

    Post # 21
    7081 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    We are very lucky in that Mr. DG works from home.  Hopefully when #2 comes into our family, Cecilia will already be in preschool 🙂

    Post # 22
    3871 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Wow, I always wondered about working parents.  Great thread!

    I will probably have to do a lot of juggling of work schedules. I work M-F with 1-2 very long days.  DH will have to take off those days or put our kid in day care and be out in time to pick them up. DH’s schedule is slightly more flexible since he works 5 days (weekends, too) and can pretty much make his own schedule. I also, might be able to convince my boss that I can work from home.  If this all works out, our kid will only need to be in day care for about 3 days.

    The other problem is figuring out when me and the DH will see each other. :/

    Oh, we are away from family so we will pretty much be on our own.

    ETA: Oh, I’m not a morning person but if I have go in early so I can leave early, I guess that’s what I gotta do. Thanks, Mrs. Spring for this advice.

    Post # 23
    588 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I work in a daycare so I’m able to bring her to work with me. It’s fantastic – I get paid to watch my own kid. Obviously it’s not a high paying job but it gets us both out of the house. My Fiance works graveyard so it was the only option for us.

    Post # 24
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’ve finally decided that when DH and I have kids, we’re going to have to get a full-time nanny. There’s just no way around it. It pushes back our timeline to be able to afford to have someone full-time, but it will allow both of us the flexibility of continuing with our careers without having our children be in daycare for 10+ hours/day. Plus, it also solves the problems you mention with carpools, summer vacations, sick days…etc.


    DH owns his own business and is away from the house from 6:30 am – 7 pm daily.

    My office hours are 8 am – 5:30 pm, but it’s not uncommon for me to have to stay late to work on projects and I also travel for work 2-3 times/month.

    All 4 grandparents are local, but their schedules are too hectic to be relied upon for care. Plus, I really want them to have a “grandparent” relationship with my children, not a caregiver relationship (i.e. spoiler, not disciplinarian). 

    Post # 25
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    We have one son, he is 11 months old and I went back to work full time when he was 7 months old.  Honestly, it hasn’t been nearly as crazy as I thought it would be, even though we both work pretty full time jobs (50-55+ hours a week – pre baby, I worked a lot more!).  Part of this is because we are lucky that we can afford a nanny which means no trying to get our selves PLUS baby out of the house in the morning – and it also means someone is home during the day taking care of stuff (laundry, dishes, basic errands, etc).  So night time isn’t full of chores,we actually can hang out with our son and then relax after he goes to sleep.  And an every other week housekeeper helps too.

    we have zero family or friends help though!  so we are really lucky we can afford to “buy” the help – and provide our son with an additional nurturer, as he absolutely adores our nanny 🙂

    Post # 26
    801 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2008

    Both DH and I work full time.  My son started daycare at 9 weeks old and is now 5 months old.  His day starts at 5:45am when he wakes up and we are out the door by 6:30am.   I drop him off at daycare between 6:45am and 7am and pick him up usually around 5:15pm.  We get home by 6pm with enough time to either have tummy time, activity mat, or more recently practice eating rice cereal.  Then it is bath at 6:30pm and down for the night at 7pm.  DH gets home before me so he’s had to become proficient in making dinner.  In the beginning, there isn’t much awake time you get to spend with your baby but it does get better and more routine.  If my son gets sick DH takes off work since he gets sick leave that can be used for children’s illness.  I only get PTO/vacation leave so that is why usually it isn’t me unless it is a half day or he needs to be picked up immediately (I’m closer to daycare).  Right now all holidays the daycare is closed match DH’s work holidays so we don’t have issue with that.  When my son starts public school we’ll have to find programs to enroll him in during the day or take turns working from home. Daycare is currently just under 1/4 of our income so it makes sense for me to continue to work.  If we had two in daycare at once though, there would be no point in me continuing to work – the cost benefit would be negligible.  When you are ready you’ll weigh all the pros/cons out and find the right solution for yourself.  It’s all about priorities and compromise.  Our weekends are filled with laundry, cleaning, and baby and that is pretty much it.  As my son gets older we’ll be able to do more (and hopefully hire a housekeeper).

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