Post # 1
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
So I am one of five BM’s for my MOH’s wedding.
Her Maid/Matron of Honor has thrown a bridal shower that I wasn’t able to make it to, due to living overseas. Two days after the shower was held, I (along with all but one BM) got an email asking to split the cost of the shower.
I’m not completely stingy, but if I expected someone to help out with $$ than I would have asked them BEFORE the event.
To the best of my knowledge, no one else has replied. Also, I have to check with why the fifth girl wasn’t included in the email.
Plus, I’m spending a butt-load of $$ just to get to the wedding and the bride (my MOH) knows that she doesn’t have to worry about planning anything for me – as I live on the other side of the planet.
What do I do?? I just arrived in town and am meeting up with all these girls tonight!!!
Post # 3
Member
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
If the Maid/Matron of Honor says anything to you, I would just say “I’m sorry, but as I have the additional travel expenses, I cannot afford to contribute to the cost of the shower.”
You are correct. She should have asked for contributions ahead of time, so she knew what budget she was working within.
Post # 4
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
Ugh, a friend of mine went through the same thing a few years ago. She arrived at the shower and received a bill from the MOH! She was NEVER even included in the plans. On top of it all, she had been asked to pick up things on her way there and she spent $$$ she was never reimbursed for.
I would e-mail the Maid/Matron of Honor and tell her that you are sorry, but you can only afford to contribute X amount of $$ and you hope they all enjoyed the party.
Post # 5
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee
If they had wanted you to particiapte then you should have had a say on the “level” of the events. Just because they chose to have a champagne shower doesn’t mean that you are on the hook to pay for it.
The host should have hosted what she could have afforded, not sent a post event bill to someone who wasn’t involved in the planning.
“I’m sorry but that won’t be possible” Just keep repeating it no matter what they say.
Post # 6
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
Hmmm. That was kind of a stinky way for her to handle this. I agree with Julies1949.
I would just nicely tell her that if you had been included/involved in planning the event in advance , you could have explained at that time before arrangements were made that you are on a strict budget and are unable to contribute.
If she gives you any pushback, I would nicely smile and say, “It’s a shame you didn’t explain all of this to me before you went out and spent all of that money. I’m sure you’re very frustrated!” And just keep smiling.
Post # 7
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
Sorry but i wasnt going to pay for something taht I had no clue about to begin with. As the previous posters stated just politely say that you cannot afford to make a contribution because of your finances at this time
Post # 8
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
@BelliniChic: +1
Totally a yikes situation. I’ve never heard of a Maid/Matron of Honor doing that…gross
Post # 10
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
How rude of her.I wouldnt pay..lol
Member