Post # 1
I have two friends in a relationship. They are not married, they do not live together. Do we send them each an invitation seperately or do we send the invitation to the person that we know the best addressed to both of them?
I would think send it to both of them…we never know what the fates hold..they could break up.
What do you guys think?
Post # 3
I’d say send it to both of them. 🙂
Post # 4
Hmmm.. I would send an invitation to each? Good question, I’m interested to hear what the correct etiquette is.
Post # 5
I would send it to both, just so they have it handy and can make travel decisions, refer to details, etc.
Post # 6
Our Best man and Maid/Matron of Honor are a couple, but don’t live together yet so we sent them each an invite! For most other people though we are friends with one side of the couple and the other we don’t know as well, so we sent one invite with both names. I’d say.. if you will be friends with both after they break up and want them both to come, maybe send them each one? I don’t think you will offend them either way!
Post # 7
Do they live seperately? If so just send to both of them. If they live together, save time and just send the one, lol.
Post # 8
I’m still unengaged/living separately with my SO, and I wouldn’t be upset with 1 invite being sent to him (if it’s his friend/family’s wedding) or vice versa. Honestly, postage adds up, I don’t take offense! I’m just grateful to be invited in anyway/shape/form! And if for any reason we broke up before this event, I would obviously let that person know if I would not be going/would be going, regardless of what the SO put on the RSVP card!
Post # 9
Thanks for the input guys. I am doing a mock up guest list and got stuck right there and new I would have an answer here quicker than texting one of my friends…lol
Post # 10
I believe that proper etiquette gives you two options. Let’s say it’s John and Mary and you guys know John best.
1. You can send one invite to John and address it to “Mr. John Smith and Guest”
2. You can send invites to both John and Mary at their individual residences, addressed to “Mr. John Smith” and “Ms. Mary Doe” (no guests, unless you want to be uber-prepared if they break up or you WANT them to bring extra people!)
If you like both people and would want them both at your wedding, even if they decided to end their relationship, send invites to both of them.
Post # 11
I’d just send it to “John smith and Jane doe” or whatever. That’s what I’ll be doing.
Post # 12
Correct etiquette is to invite every guest, by name, by an invitation sent to his or her own home. So, if two people are not living together, you have to send two separate inivitations if you want to comply with proper form. Under traditional etiquette, it is never correct to refer to someone as “and Guest”.
Post # 13
I’m actually putting two on the same invitation if we’re long-term friends with both of them. For example: If John and Jane were dating I’m putting whichever friend we’re closest to (John) on the front of the invitation. It’d go something like this:
Mr. John Smith
123 Main Street
New Orleans, LA 70118
Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe
The only risk you run is if they break up between the time the invitations are sent out and the wedding. It could make for an awkward situation, but I’m not worrying about it.
If it’s a friend who has a boyfriend that I don’t know that well or they just started dating but I want to invite anyway… I’ll just put guest on the invitation. Maybe it’s too much but it makes sense in my head!
Post # 14
@nolabee39: There is another risk you run by following this rule, precisely because the advice to “address joint invitations to the friend you’re closest to” is becoming well known. You risk advertising to Jane that you do not consider her as close a friend. If that ends up being the message that she takes away, you may very well have insulted her unintentionally. Even if she chooses to overlook the slight and assumes that no offense was intended, it may not be a thing that you wish to do to her.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
We had a similar situation and sent a separate invitation to each of them.
Post # 16
@aspasia475: I’m not too worried about it, I think that she would understand. My friends are fairly drama free. i do have a specific example of it and her boyfriend is in the wedding party however she is not. I don’t think I’m being inconsiderate afterall… someone has to go first on the invitation. I think that argument can be made with a married couple also. No one knows how the other invitations are addresses so they have no idea why I chose to put anyone’s name first.